


Falling Like The Stars

by xwoodbinex



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Affairs, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Closet Gay, Coming Out, F/M, Gay Panic, Grief/Mourning, Homophobia, Love, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2020-12-27 05:07:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 52,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21113156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xwoodbinex/pseuds/xwoodbinex
Summary: Callum coming to terms with his sexuality, whilst Ben is still dealing with the grief from loosing Paul. Love lost and love gained





	1. A Close Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic that I have published, although I have written various fandoms on/off for years.  
I've finally summoned up the courage to publish something.
> 
> BE NICE!

Callum had had an incredible date with his girlfriend Whitney last night and for once in his life he felt on top of world.

He had wanted to make this date special because Whitney was special to him. She was his first time and his first love and he wanted to remember this moment for ever.

He had approached Linda a few weeks back and told her of his feelings for Whit and that he wanted to do something memorable for them both. Linda had been sweet enough to lend him the key to the roof of The Queen Vic, she had helped to distract Whitney for him and kept her busy all day, whilst Mick had been up on the roof helping him to prepare things to make sure everything had been ‘just right’. 

All day he had slaved away in the kitchen cooking up Whitney’s favourite meal; Spaghetti Bolognaise. He had wanted to cook something fancier, to show off his cooking skills that he had learnt in the kitchens whilst out on the field in the army, but then he had told himself that NO, this was about her and what she would want.

Needless to say, the night had gone down well and had ended with them lying on some cushions, wrapped in a blanket looking at the bright, clear starlit sky. They had even been lucky enough to see a shooting star, which they had made a wish on.

The night closed with Callum summoning up all the courage he could muster and telling Whitney that he ‘Loved her.’

He was still relishing in that moment when the door to The Vic was flung open and a guy with chestnut hair swaggered in. “Welcome, welcome ladies and gents, your East End bad boy has return. No need to thank me I know how much you have all missed me.” He announced to the punters dotted around the pub.

Murmurs went around as people turned to see who it was. Not that the man needed any introduction. He was a Mitchell, Phil’s son; on the days that Phil wanted to acknowledge him anyway. He was a car-salesman, entrepreneur, poof. He was Ben Mitchell.

“Alright! Alright! Don’t all rush to buy an honest man a pint!” He walked up to the bar and lent with one arm on it, surveying his territory, like a lion stalking it’s prey.

Callum watched the man closely from where he stood. He wasn’t sure what to make of the man who had just walked in and who obviously thought he was Walfords answer to The Kray Twins, all rolled into one.

“Alright my good man. Pour me a pint, and make it a large one.” He slapped the bar top. He turned and smirked at Callum, who he had caught staring at him from over the top of the pumps. “Well sometime today would be good, but if that’s too much trouble for you, tomorrow will suffice.”

Callum shook his head and felt the blood rushing to his ears and slowly creeping down to the neck of his T-shirt.

“Er-erm…yeah sure.” He replied to Ben, flustered. He picked up a pint glass and proceeded to pull the pump handle, all the while feeling the mans intense blue eyes watching him carefully. Once the glass was filled, he handed it to Ben.

“That’s £2.80.” He told Ben wiping his wet hands on his jeans to dry them.

“Like a lot of head do ya?” Ben suddenly quipped tilting his head and looking cheekily at Callum. Callum wasn’t sure he had heard the man properly at first and snapped his gaze back to the guy who was smirking at him.

He felt himself blush profusely again.

“Well… I-I…erm.”

“Relax will ya! I was talkin’ about my pint man.” Ben gestured with his head towards the piss poor excuse for a pint that he had sat before himself.

“Oh I-I erm…the barrel must have run out. I should go and change it.” He gestured vaguely over his left shoulder.

A woman suddenly walked through from the back who Ben recognised as being Whitney. She happened to catch a glimpse of Ben’s pint.

“Oh Callum what are you like!?” She laughed and took Ben’s pint from in front of him. “Oh hi Ben. How long have you been back?” She expertly pulled him another and handed it back to him.

“Long enough to know this one can’t pull a decent pint…maybe he’s better at pulling in other ways.” He gave sly a wink.

Callum fidgeted, straightening some coasters.

“Oh, leave him alone Ben.” She slapped him on the arm. “I think the barrel needs changing anyway babe.” She turned to talk to Callum. “Why don’t you go and tell Mick.” She gave Callum a kiss on the cheek.

“Ohhhh…so you and him.” Ben gestured from Whitney to Callum with a finger as he rested both elbows on the bar top.

“Yeah Callum’s my boyfriend.” Whitney grinned and moved to link an arm through Callum’s, then looked up at him with her big eyes. “Aren’t ya babe?”

“Yeah-yeah I am.” Callum smiled a smile down at her.

“Aw the two love-birds.” Ben mocked, tilting his head to one side and giving them a fake , sarcastic smile.

Whitney rolled her eyes at him. “At least I know how to keep someone around for more than a day.” She told Ben.

“Whit, Whit, Whit, you know that isn’t my style. I like a good bit of fresh meat.” He emphasised the last part slowly, looking at Callum.

Whitney hadn’t noticed, she was too busy talking to Mick who had appeared from out back and joined them at the bar.

“Ah Benjamin me old mucker. Nice of you to pop by. You’re looking bright-eyed and bushy tailed.”

“You should have seen me this morning, like something from the Walking Dead I was. Not that I should be complaining after the performance I put on last night. But you know.” He looked down at the nails on his left hand and picked at them. He breathed on them and polished them on his leather jacket. “I’m not one to brag and all but…”

“Ben. Leave it out.” Mick tutted at him with disgust.

Ben smirked. “Well I’d love to stay and talk to you ladies.” He nodded at Mick and Callum. “But I must do my rounds. My public awaits.” He gestured with his arms around the room, before spying Jay and Lola talking together in a booth in the corner of the room.

“Evening.” He nodded at Jay.

“Oh, here he is, the man of the moment.” Jay looked up at Ben from behind his pint.

“And what moment would that be Jay? I’ve had many a moment over the past the past few months I’ve been away, starting with this guy from…”

“Jesus Christ Ben. You’ve only been back 5 minutes. Believe it or not, the whole world doesn’t revolve around you and your sex life.”

Ben faked being mortally wounded and clutched a hand to his heart. Jay punched him playfully on the arm and laughed.

“No seriously I’ve missed you bro…some more than others I’ll admit.” He turned and gave Lola a smile and reached out for her hand and softly stroked it.

Ben feigned being sick. “Be right back Little Boys Room is calling.” He told them both after seeing Callum pop in there from over Jay’s shoulder.

There was something about that man that felt all too familiar to him. The shyness, the blushing, the being near to Whitney but making sure he wasn’t too close. Something felt stand-offish to him about those two, on Callum’s part at least.

He made his way over to the wooden door of the Gents and gave it a sharp, but forceful push open and walked in.

“Oh. Don’t mind me.” Ben told Callum as soon as he saw him in there, standing at the sink washing his hands.

Ben unzipped his trousers and proceeded to take a leak. He could see Callum still there in the mirror over his shoulder.

“So? Why do they call you Halfway?” Ben questioned, making eye contact with Callum in the mirror. He could see how awkward he was making him feel and was loving every minute of it.

He could see Callum’s mouth working hard to form some kind of a sentence, but so far all he was manging to achieve was a very good impression of a goldfish. “You see. Someone with a name like that causes me to think a lot of questions. Some pretty innocent and some not quite so.” He turned around to face Callum, slowly doing his zipper up.

Ben caught Callum looking quickly down and then quickly back up to Ben’s face.

“Naughty, naughty. Trying to check out the goods already, and we haven’t even made it as far as 1st base yet. What will Whitney think eh Callum?”

“I-I wasn’t! I was drying my hands off and looking for…”

“I’ve met a lot of blokes like you Callum.” Ben moved to stand himself square-on in front of the taller man and looked up at him. “They try to bottle it all up, hope it goes away, but it doesn’t. It never goes away Callum.”

Callum swallowed slowly.

Ben licked his bottom lip tentatively and narrowed his eyes at Callum.

Callum quickly screwed the wad of paper towels that he had in his hands, up into a ball and lobbed them into the bin to his left. Not breaking eye contact with Ben.

“Excuse me. I need to go and change that barrel. I forgot.” He managed to push past Ben, but as he did, Ben grabbed his arm. “What are you doing?! Get off me!” Callum shook Ben’s hand from his arm and grabbed a hold of the toilet door handle and pulled it open.

“You can’t keep lying to yourself Callum.” Ben’s voice sing-songed out after him. The door closing firmly shut behind him.


	2. The Turn of the Screw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is shorter than the first. I'm working on writing longer ones.  
Again....play nice!

Callum didn’t know what Ben was on about. He loved Whit, she was the best thing to have ever happened to him. She got him, she understood him, she cared about him; something he had never had a chance to experience growing up, and neither had his big brother Stuart.

He had never been a lady’s man, despite having been in the army and being amongst some of the toughest, most macho men he had known. Whilst they had been passing porno magazines around the base, he had been quite happy to just sit there and read a book. Of course, this had meant that he had constantly been the butt of jokes at the base and some of the guys had teased him relentlessly, calling him a ‘queer’ and a ‘faggot’.

It was all in good humour, he knew that, but it had gradually started to seep under his skin and he had started questioning a lot of things about himself, his sexuality being one.

Of course, he had never told anyone any of this and no one had needed to know. He had never mentioned it to Whitney, but why did he need to? He was with Whitney. He loved Whitney. He felt safe with Whitney.

He shook his head and made his way down to the cellar to change the beer barrel that he had meant to sort earlier. He would take Whitney out for drinks at the E20 tomorrow night. It had been a while since they had had a night out together, just the two of them and he wanted to show her off, although a night out meant drinking and getting drunk, which then usually lead to sex and that was another thing he knew he wasn’t good at.

Although Whitney had never said anything to him, he was always worried he didn’t last long enough, didn't pleasure her enough, wasn’t exciting enough.

Hell, before he had met her he had never even been with a woman; something he himself had never found strange, but it did of course cause a bombardment of uncomfortable questions from Whit, when he had finally summoned up the courage; 3 months down the line, to tell her that he was in fact, a virgin.

She had been kind enough to him, in her own way and they had taken things slowly, but even now he was never the one to instigate things. It was always the same and Whitney would have to be the one to help stimulate him to get an erection.

He didn’t know why he was like this. She was kind, funny and beautiful. But most of all. She made him feel safe.

Ben made his way back over to Jay and Lola who were still sat at their booth in the corner, but now joined by Louise and Keanu.

He hadn’t really had a chance to see Louise yet as he was currently trying to avoid the whole ‘baby fiasco’ at the Mitchell household. Both Sharon and his sister were both up the duff and he wasn’t exactly his father’s favourite child; he had made that much clear to him more times than he cared to think about. Even Keanu was treated more like blood than he was.

The ‘coming out’ was the last straw, but Phil had tolerated him enough to at least give him possession of The Arches, even if he had initially been mad at Jay for his dad leaving him the Car Lot. But now he was back to claim what was his, thanks to his mother, Kathy informing him of what his father was about to do.

“Whitney’s new man seems lovely.” Lola chirped.

“He looks like he needs a good rogering if that’s what you mean. His personality is as tight as…”

“WOAH Ben! Too much information.” Jay gestured with his hand.

“Urgh!” Louise commented and rolled her eyes at her brother. “Why have you always got to take things that one step too far Ben?”

“Why’d you have to get up the duff with his kid!?” Ben snapped back at her, gesturing at Keanu.

“Alright you two. Break it up!” Lola shouted, glaring across the table at Ben.

Ben’s phone suddenly vibrated and he fished around in his trouser pocket to check it before smirking to himself. “Right!” He said, abruptly standing up causing Jay’s pint to topple over and spill across the table, the content running onto his lap. “I’m going to have to love you and leave you. You know how it is. Places to go, things to see, people.to.do.” He shoved his phone back into his trouser pocket.

“BEN!” Jay exclaimed throwing his arms up in the air and pushing his chair back, which fell backwards onto the floor with a clatter.

“Christ Jay, they’re only a pair of trousers. I’m sure Stace can flog you a new pair for a fiver down on the market.”

“Actually, they’re my best pair of trousers Ben and I have Mrs Grey’s funeral tomorrow!”

“She’s dead! It’s not like she’s going to be standing there looking at your beer stained crotch!”

“That’s not the point!”

“Fine!” Ben sighed and took out his wallet, throwing £20 on the table, before turning and slapping Jay on the back saying, “Don’t wait up.”

He passed the bar on the way out and caught Callum’s eye, giving him a cheeky wink and a smirk as he did so.

Callum lowered his gaze.


	3. Baby Blues

Callum slowly made his way up the stairs to his and Whitney’s room above The Vic. Deep down his stomach was tying itself in knots.

They always had the same routine. Whitney would head off first and use the bathroom; go take her make up off and do whatever else women did in there of an evening. He’d head up a bit later and brush his teeth. Whitney would be in bed already and he would secretly hope, asleep.

It didn’t always work like that and sometimes Whitney would still be awake. He’d change into a T-shirt and PJ bottoms and slip into bed next to her, rolling to turn his bedside light off.

He’d lie there awake on his back, gazing up at the ceiling, willing himself to sleep. If only his brain would switch off.

Slowly he would feel a hand slide across his chest and feel the bed shift as Whitney would roll onto her side to face him. The rest would just become a blur.

Callum crept across the hallway to their bedroom door and paused with one hand over the door handle and was about to quietly open it, trying hopefully not to wake Whit.

“Goodnight Callum love!” Linda’s voice floated up the stairs to him. She would always say goodnight. She was like the mother he never had and Mick the father he wished he had.

All his life he’d felt unwanted, like nothing but a let-down to his father. He could never be who he wanted to be and the only reason he had joined the army was to escape his father and his constant ridicule. Callum also secretly hoped that he would gain even the tiniest bit of approval from him.

Stuart was always there though to look out for him as big brothers do, but sometimes he wished he would just leave thigs. It was always a constant reminder to him of how weak he was, that he needed someone to fight his battles for him. He couldn’t even fight his own battles.

He took a deep breath and shook his head to clear it before replying back to Linda. “G-goodnight Linda.”

“Sweet Dreams.” She told him.

He turned and gave her a smile.

Linda grabbed some packs of crisps and tottered back out to the bar.

Callum opened the door and walked into the bedroom. Whitney was still awake. She looked up and smiled at him and he smiled back at her, coming to sit down on the edge of the bed and reached behind himself to pull his T-shirt off over his head. He’d just got it up around his ears before he felt some arms slide around his waist and kiss him on the neck.

He jumped and then froze. He just wasn’t in the mood tonight. Then again, whenever was he? And for some reason he couldn’t shake Ben’s last words that he said to him, from his head. ‘You can’t keep lying to yourself Callum.” Lying to himself. What about? And why was he getting fluttering feelings of jealousy in his stomach from when he had overheard Ben tell Jay and Lola that he was off to meet a man for the night?

Again, he shook his head.

“Do you ever feel like you could be doing so much more with your life?” He suddenly told Whitney.

“What makes you say that babe? I thought we were happy?”

“I just don’t want to be stuck pulling pints for the rest of my life and finding pink, fluffy stuff gradually encroaching on my personal space. I want us to have a life together and our own place. I want you to be able to pursue your own clothing line to sell on the market and who knows where else. I want to see you doing what you truly want to do. I know how much you love making customized clothing. I want to make something of myself to be able to provide for you Whit.” He reached out and took one of her hands in both of his.

“Aw Cal. Is that what’s been worrying you all night?” Whitney reached out and ran a hand down the side of his face.

Callum looked at her puzzled, before deciding to go along with things.

“Erm...yeah. Yeah it is. I don’t want to let you down Whit. It’s my duty to support you, and besides. ‘I love you’.

Whitney smiled lovingly at him and rested her head on his shoulder and ran her hand down his arm.

“Well I’ll keep an eye out for you and ask around the market. Maybe Jay or Ben have some work going at the Car Lot. I’ll ask for you tomorrow.” She lent up and kissed him, running a hand down his chest.

Callum felt his stomach knot and tried to focus on his breathing to calm himself down. He closed his eyes and lent into the kiss more to try and at least show willing. He felt himself starting to enjoy this kiss more and felt his mouth being tugged at, so he parted his lips. He then felt a warm tongue enter his mouth and start to kneed his own tongue.

He let out a gentle moan and saw some baby blue eyes come into his mind and started kissing more frantically, eventually a face started to form in front of him before gradually coming into focus.

“BEN!” He suddenly thought to himself. His eyes flew open. He could feel Whitney trying to do something to his belt, tugging at it, trying to undo it.

Callum suddenly came to his senses and licked his lips slowly. “Whit…WHIT!” He gently placed his hands on hers and removed them from his trousers. “S-stop...”

“Cal…” Whitney looked at him questioningly.

“I-I can’t…can we just go to bed? I’m tired. It’s been a long day.” He quickly stood up and stripped off his trousers, changing into some sweatpants, climbing back into bed, turning the light off and rolling onto his side so that his back was facing Whit and curled up into a ball.

He could hear Whitney softly crying to herself and he hated himself for how he had upset her. He’d once again been a coward, just like his father had said he was the time he wouldn’t stick up to the school bullies and his dad would go and sort it for him.

He lay there staring out the window thinking about the man with the baby-blue eyes, until sleep eventually evaded him and he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next chapter is going to be a long one. 
> 
> I’m gradually setting the scene with Callum and Ben


	4. Dark Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There might be a delay for Ch5 as that's currently where I'm up to with writing. 
> 
> I have a paragraph down, but I promise you it'll be good!

The sunlight streamed down in golden rods and hit Ben’s face, dappled rays of light shone through the tree leaves and danced about on his skin.

He cautiously opened one eye halfway and groaned loudly. Suddenly a searing pain shot through his head and blinded him temporarily. It was far too bright and where the hell was he anyway?

“Rough night?” Someone questioned him. He couldn’t quite tell who, but felt their presence from a shadow that hovered over him.

Somewhere nearby he could hear the sound of Robbie sweeping up after the usual Saturday night shenanigans but even that sounded like someone scraping their nails down a chalkboard to him.

“Fuck!” He groaned and heard the sound of an empty bottle bounce and crash on to the tarmac. It was then that he realised he was on a bench in The Square. Ben shielded his eyes from the daylight and made an attempt to see who was standing near him. He squinted, looking up and saw the tall, lanky frame of a man standing with a paper under his arm and a pint of milk in his hand.

“Come to gloat have ya?” Ben sneered, then winced.

Robbie started up the leaf blower.

“Oh, Jesus Christ Robbie!” Ben yelled. He managed to pull himself to sit up and swung his legs round and lent forward, cradling his head in his hands.

Callum couldn’t help but smirk at Ben and the situation he’d got himself into.

“You can wipe that smile off your face and all. I bet you’re not a saint, what with all the stuff that goes on in the army.”

Callum looked at him puzzled.

“Oh, come on Callum, don’t play innocent with me. All that totty about, don’t try to tell me you didn’t take any out for a test drive.” He pushed a fist up against his forehead.

“What? No…no I ain’t like that. We were just mates that’s all. They was all like brothers to me. All looking out for one another and that.” He could feel the heat rising to his cheeks and he desperately wanted to divert from this conversation. He could tell that Ben was loving seeing him squirm.

Robbie moved closer with the leaf blower and Ben groaned loudly, “Turn that bloody thing off will ya! Before I ram it down your throat!” He yelled, snapping at Robbie.

“Just doing my job Ben.” Robbie told him and shrugged.

“Yeah. Well do it somewhere else.” Callum saw Ben’s fists tighten and the knuckles turn white as he gripped the edge of the bench tighter. He thought it best to remove Ben before there was a bloodbath in The Square…again.

“Right come on Ben, let’s get you cleaned up and sober.” Callum set the milk down and crouched down, wrapping one of Ben’s arms around his shoulders.

“No! No…I don’t-I don’t need you…” He slurred and stabbed Callum in the chest with his index finger. “I don’t need YOU to look after me!”

Callum could see how bloodshot Ben’s eyes were and the pain that was filling them. He looked questioningly at him.

“I don’t need anyone to look out for me. I look out for me. Always have, always will. I don’t need anyone.” Ben started spitting venom at him.

“Ben look. Come back to The Vic. I can get Linda to cook you up a breakfast. Give you a chance to sober up an that.”

“I don’t…” Ben suddenly went pale and managed to projectile vomit down the front of Callum’s shirt.

“Wonderful Ben. Thank you. I’ve already had one shower this mornin’ I don’t need another.” He sighed. “Right!” He heaved Ben up off the bench so that his arm was around his shoulders and he was leaning his weight into Callum.

“Whata shame. I could have scrubbed yer back.” Ben smirked, his head lolling as he looked at Callum, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Callum blushed, but inside his stomach was doing acrobatics. Why did Ben always make him feel like this? Why, when it was just the two of them, alone together, did it feel like they were in their own perfect little bubble, where no one could touch them and Callum felt safe? He made him feel safe. BEN MITCHELL made him feel safe.

Callum staggered under the weight of Ben and more than once they had careered into a bin, a tree, Martin’s stall on the market.

“Oi! Watch it!” Martin yelled as a display of apples rolled off the stall and scattered across the tarmac.

“Sorry Martin! I’ll owe ya!” Callum shouted over his shoulder as he tried to steer Ben towards the front door of The Vic. Callum thumped on the door and Linda opened it.

“What’s he doin’ here!” Whitney questioned from behind the bar where she was restacking clean glasses ready for doors opening a couple of hours later. “And what on earth have you got down the front of your shirt?”

Callum stood with Ben draped around him and looked at Whitney meekly.

“Oh no, you haven’t. Did he…” She gestured with her head towards Ben.

Ben raised his head and drunkenly looked at Whitney and gave her a small wave with his fingers.

Whitney scowled back at him. “Right. Get him upstairs and you go and take a shower.” Whitney told Callum.

“Ern…a little help.” Callum gestured.

Whitney sighed deeply and walked over to them both and wrinkled her nose.

“Whoops!” Ben sarcastically said and smirked at her.

Between the two of them, they half carried half dragged Ben upstairs.

“He just needs to sleep it off Whit.” Callum told her.

“Yeah, well why don’t he go back to his own place and do it? Why did you have to bring him here? Where did you find him?”

“In the park. Must have passed out there last night after he left here.”

“Um…hello…I am still here.” Ben suddenly piped up.

“Oh, just get him in our bedroom. Linda’s just got a new rug delivered for the sitting room this morning. I don’t she’d appreciate sick on it.” Whitney told Callum.

“Yeah you’re probably right. I need to change out of this shirt. Tell Mick I’ll be down in a second will ya?”

“Sure.” Whitney smiled a soft smile at Callum and lent up to give him a small kiss on the mouth, but Callum pulled away as she did.

Whitney frowned.

“Probably shouldn’t. Don’t want this to get on ya.” He pointed to the puke spewed down his shirt. Whitney wrinkled her nose, before giving Ben a quick look of disgust as she made her way downstairs.

Ben smiled a drunken, lazy smile at her, as he hung clinging onto Callum, one arm around his neck.

“Toodles.” He waved at her with his fingers.

“Why’d ya have to go and do this Ben?” Callum questioned him, bracing himself against the doorframe to his and Whitney’s bedroom to try and adjust his grip on Ben.

“Oh, on first name terms, now are we?” Ben questioned, gripping onto the doorframe with his fingers to try and steady himself.

Callum didn’t reply, but dragged him over to the bed, before laying him down on it.

“Sooo…is this where the magic happens.” Ben grinned up at Callum from lying on the bed, arms underneath his head, looking around the purple bedroom.

Callum tried to cover the fact that he was nervous and blushing by turning to his chest of drawers and rummaging around to find a clean shirt to put on.

“Or…not.” Ben continued. "I like what ya done to the feature wall. Whitney's taste I take it? I mean..."

Callum suddenly snapped and spun around, grabbing the front of Ben’s shirt and pulling him up to face him more.

Ben smirked at him.

“Can you please just shut up! Stop with the little digs here and there. I told you, I ain’t like that! I have Whit and she’s all I need. We’re good for one another…s-she makes me feel safe.” He started faltering on his words and he loosened up his grip on Ben, letting him fall back onto the bed. Ben bit his lip and looked up at Callum, who was looking down at him, and started laughing.

“I was there once too Callum. Oh, you just don’t get it do ya? Poor sad, innocent Callum. I bet you’ve had the whispers, the teasing. The ‘go on! Stand up for yourself, be a man’. You’ll never be a real man. You…”

“You know nothin’ about me!” Callum glared down at him and gesticulated a finger towards him.

Ben could see that Callum’s eyes were lined wet, with tears.

They stayed looking at one another like that until Callum quickly picked up the new shirt he had chosen and stormed off to the bathroom across the landing.

As he did, he heard Ben drunkenly call out, ‘Don’t leave on my account!”

Callum’s eyes misted up and he felt the first of many tears splash down his face.


	5. Train Wreck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** WARNING:-
> 
> This chapter does contain some very mild references to self harm. If this triggers you, please do not read or skip that part.  
-My apologies in advance **

Callum hadn’t seen Ben for a while since that last drunken incident in his and Whitney’s bedroom, but he couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened.

The things that Ben had said to him whilst they had fought in the bedroom were as though Ben could read his mind. In that moment it had felt as though he had been staring back at a mirror image of himself. As much as Ben annoyed him with his constant digs and putting down, he had awoken something inside of Callum.

“Cal you have some post.” Linda came into the sitting room where he was sat watching some of the Man U football highlights from their match against Chelsea earlier in the day. Whitney was out up town for the evening with some girl friends for a night out, which to be fair to her was a rarity.

He turned and looked up at Linda holding out a white official looking letter, before taking it from her and frowning. He hadn’t told anyone where he now resided, well only the important ones. So, this must be important.

“Weren’t you expecting anything?” Linda questioned him after seeing puzzlement cross his face as he took it from her, turning it over to look at the back.

When he saw the return address, his mouth instantly went dry and he felt nauseous; like he was going to heave there and then on Linda’s brand, new rug. He managed to breathe through it, but his hands started to shake and he felt beads of perspiration starting to form on his forehead. He swallowed a hard lump that had formed in his throat, down.

“N-No…erm...th-thanks Linda.” He gave her a small smile.

“Are you ok Callum? You’re looking very pale, are you coming down with something?” She walked over to him and felt his forehead, fussing over him.

“I’m-I’m fine...just need an early night is all. Didn’t sleep to good last night.” He told her a half truth. Truth was, he hadn’t been sleeping well for months. Things just didn’t seem right no matter what he tried to do. There was something that kept gnawing away inside of him.

Whitney would ask him what was wrong. She said she was worried about him as he was becoming more distant with her. He never knew how to answer her, because truthfully, he didn’t know what was wrong with him. He’d make-up excuses, which seemed to be enough to satisfy her and keep her questioning at bay. He didn’t want to lose her, he loved her, but most of all, she made him feel safe.

He didn’t like how the lying was coming more and more easily to him, but wanted to keep everyone happy, and if that’s what it took, then he would carry on.

“Look after yourself love.” Linda told him and smiled softly at him and left the room.

Callum stared down at the white official looking envelope with the MOD crest imprinted on the front, that he held in his hands. He knew this day would come, but he’d always tried to shove it to the back of his mind and compartmentalise it to deal with later.

With a trembling hand he slid a finger under the flap and slit the letter open, he gingerly took the letter out and read it. He had been called up again to re-join the front and would need to go for a medical to review his side injury first. When he read those words, it was as though his world had paused and resumed in slow motion.

After a while he stood up and made his way downstairs, grabbing his jacket from the peg in the hallway and slipped out of The Vic through the back door. It was dark outside by now, and there was a chill in the air and a dampness that clung to him.

His mind wouldn’t shut up and his heart was beating so fast that he felt as though it would beat out of his chest. He was not going back and re-joining and that was that. He didn’t care if that made him any less of a man. He didn’t care that he had been called back to the front, he would find a way to avoid returning. Even if it meant doing something more drastic than he would have considered before.

He crossed The Square and saw that the lights were still on at the Minute Mart. He wasn’t thinking straight right now and would give anything for the thoughts in his head to stop racing. He went in and bought a 4 pack of beer.

“You having a party tonight Callum?” Honey’s airy voice floated over to him as he got to the register. She scanned the beer for him and set the pack down for him.

Callum wasn’t listening. He was away with his thoughts. “Ermm…sorry, what was that Honey?” He asked her as he felt around in his trousers for his wallet. “I asked if you were having a party tonight?” She gestured towards the beer.

“Oh…er..y-yeah, yeah I am. Just me and Jay and a couple of the others. Think Jay’s putting something on for B…” He stopped before he said his name, then took a deep breath. “for Ben as a welcome back or something.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” She smiled at him. “That will be £5.00 please”

Callum handed her over the money and picked up the case of beer. “Have a good night Callum. Enjoy.”

“Thanks.” he muttered and walked out.

It was starting to drizzle now, but he didn’t care. In fact, he kind of liked the way that the weather mirrored his mood. He made his way over to the park and sat down on one of the swings in the kid’s playground and took out his phone to check it.

_1 message-Whitney_

He sighed and opened the message. He knew it would probably be one of her drunken rambles that she usually sent him when she was on a night out. Most of the time he found it quite sweet that she was still thinking of him even though she was out with friends, but tonight it just irritated him even more. __

__

__

_You’ll never guess who’s out tonight? Ruby...with MAX! I hope Linda’s not harassing you too much. I miss youuuuuu. xxxxx_

Callum didn’t reply, but shoved his phone back into his trouser pocket and picked up one of the beers using the swing seat to open it. He took a swig, feeling the cool amber liquid run all the way down to his churning stomach.

He sat there gently rocking himself on the swing trying to clear his thoughts, listening to the wind rustling the leaves in the trees, the dimness of the streetlights illuminating him casting his silhouette on the wood chips that lay at his feet.

He downed the bottle of beer and quickly cracked open another. The golden amber liquid was slowly starting to numb the thoughts, at least for now, but there was still that feeling there, gnawing away.

“URGHHHH!” He suddenly shouted and threw the beer bottle at the low brick wall that surrounded the playground. It flew through the air and met with the hard brick, smashing instantly, scattering shards of green that glinted in streetlight. He reached for another bottle and stumbled, nearly falling off the swing. He grabbed the chains and steadied himself before picking up the bottle.

Eventually things became too much and halfway through the 3rd bottle he screamed “FUUUUUUCK!” and started hitting his leg with it. “JUST. FUCKING. URGHHH…” He kept smacking his thigh with the bottle, not sure what he was hoping to achieve, but he was relishing the pain that it brought. Maybe if he broke his leg….the thought fleeted through his mind, but he was too much of a coward to even do that. He couldn’t even summon up the courage to do it.

He broke down in tears, the emotions he’d been holding in the past few months getting the better of him. The tears flooded out and splashed onto the dirt at his feet mixing in with the rain that was now steadily beginning to fall down.

Callum had never felt so alone at this precise moment in time. However, he didn’t realise was that he wasn’t alone and that the boy with the blue-eyes, who made him feel safe was watching him from the shadows…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know 4 pack of beer isn’t enough to get someone bloto....but Callum’s a lightweight 😏


	6. Homicidal Love

Ben stepped out of the shadows; he couldn’t stand seeing Callum in the sorry state that he was in any longer. He’d been there too many times and he couldn’t bear someone else going through the same pain and self-loathing that he had and still had.

The guilt he carried for starting that fight with the guys in the club who had been shouting out homosexual slurs at them, all those years ago, that got Paul killed, would forever haunt him, but it was just something that he would have to live with.

No-one understood how painful it was to keep living each day, knowing that you were the sole reason that the person you loved had been murdered. Paul had been his first and he vowed would be his last, but there was something about Callum, a vulnerability in him that he had recognised once in himself.

All his life he had been ridiculed for being gay. He’d had a reputation as a Mitchell to keep, and he had destroyed that in those few short words that had come out of his mouth when he had met Paul.

“Callum?” Ben questioned, walking across the playground to him, hands in his pockets and that slight Ben Mitchell swagger.

Callum looked up and ran a hand down his face to wipe it free from tears. “Oh great, come to gloat at me an all have ya?” He stared intently at him.

Ben moved to stand in front of him and looked down at him frowning.

“Not this time no.” He told him matter-of-factly.

“Bloody hell…Ben Mitchell being nice for once. Can I record this moment and save it for prosperity?” Callum gestured, throwing his arms into the air and sloshing some of the remaining beer down his shirt.

“Bit forward? Although it could get me a few more hits on Grindr-I think you’ve had enough of that.” He plucked the beer bottle from Callum’s hand after he saw him wobble on the swing.

“Oh give it a rest Ben will ya?”

“What side of the bed did you get out of this morning?” Ben questioned, coming to sit down next to him on the other swing and swigging at the remnants of the beer. “What make of beer is this?” He wrinkled his nose, looking at the bottle.

Callum sighed and kicked at the woodchips with his foot.

“So, are you going to tell me what the matter is or…? Has Mick been having a go at you because you pulled another shit pint?” Ben smirked.

“No.” He took his phone out and absent-mindedly fiddled with it.

“Look Callum.” Ben fiddled with the ring on his ringer. “Take it from someone who knows, who knows what it’s like to be bullied every single day of his waking life. You can try to fight it, oh believe me you can, but you can’t escape from it. And it beats you down, it wears you down until you are a shell of the person you once were.”  
  
“I’ve been draft up again.” Callum suddenly spat out.

“And that’s a bad thing because….” Ben questioned him. “I thought you wanted to play the big man, please your father an all that.”

“That ain’t who I am though!” Callum shouted, trying to contain his tears.

“I know it’s not.” Ben replied quietly, sincerely. He slowly reached across and placed his hand on top of Callum’s that was resting on his thigh.

Callum could feel the heat radiating off of Ben’s hand as it rested on top of his own. Neither said anything for a while, and they sat listening to the rain pitter-pattering on the leaves of the trees, their breath leaving their mouth like the smoke from a steam train.

Callum turned his head suddenly to look at Ben whose face was half cast in the shadows, but illuminated by the street lamp nearby.

Ben moved his hand from the back of Callum’s and slowly moved it up to gently brush some wet hair that had flopped down, out of Callum’s face, before wiping away a raindrop that was snaking its way down his temple.

“I understand Callum, I’ve been there. You like blokes and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.” He looked at him, giving him a soft, genuine smile.

Callum’s stomach was doing so many backflips right now, that it could have given Simone Biles a run for her money, but he had Whitney, he was supposed to be with Whitney, he loved Whitney and this wasn’t right.

He suddenly reached out and grabbed Ben’s hand away from his face and held it there in mid-air. “I told you, I ain’t like that. I don’t like blokes…it’s wrong.” He decked Ben with a right hook, that surprised even himself.

Ben flew backwards off the swing and landed with a thud on the woodchips. He lay there, split lipped and bloody nosed, smirking up at Callum. He moved a hand to check his nose and removed it and saw there was blood on the back of his hand.

Callum stood there like a deer in headlights staring down at him. “I-I didn’t, I-I... sorry.” He panicked, getting flustered. He hadn’t quite meant to punch Ben with as much force as he had.

“S’all right. I’ve had far worse.” Ben told him, wiping his nose with his jacket sleeve.

Callum looked coyly at him.

“Didn’t think you had it in you to be honest.” Ben told him.

“Yeah, well…” Callum shuffled awkwardly. He then reached out a hand to Ben to help pull him back up.

As soon as their hands connected Callum felt a kind of electricity radiating that he had never experienced in his life, the intensity of it shocked him and stopped him in his tracks. As Ben stood up their eyes met, those intense baby-blue eyes seemed to be baring into his soul. For the first time in his life Callum felt he belonged, it seemed as though they seemed to be guiding him home, he was completely mesmerised.

Callum was the first to speak, or rather the words came tumbling out before he could stop them. “I’ve got a flat, I’ve got a girl, I’ve got everything-so why do I feel so lonely?” He looked intently at Ben. “I’m so tired of feeling lonely.” He stuttered.

Ben smiled a gentle, understanding smile up at him and reached out with a hand again as before, and rested it on the side of Callum’s face and gently caressed it with his thumb. This time though he didn’t feel Callum flinch away from him. They stood there like this bathed in the light of the streetlight that illuminated the playground, the rain falling down on them both.

For that moment in time it was just the two of them, in their own private little world, nothing else mattered and Callum felt the safest he had ever felt. He felt as though his heart was going to fly out of his chest and burst into a million stars.

Eventually, Callum reacted to Ben’s touch and reached out to place his hands shakily either side of Ben’s face and slowly brought it up to his and gently placed his lips on Ben’s. He could taste the blood from Ben’s split lip and was surprised at how soft his lips were.

He felt Ben smile into the kiss and run his tongue along Callum’s bottom lip, causing him to open it. The cold night air was filled with the gentle moans of both men, before Ben pulled away from Callum and smiled up at him.  
  
“Well I didn’t know you had that in you.” He told him quietly.  
  
Callum smiled a small, shy smile down at him avoiding eye contact. “I-I erm… I better get back.”

“To Whitney?” Ben questioned him.

Callum still wouldn’t look at him and whispered a small “Yes”.

  
Ben nodded at him in acknowledgement. “Off you trot then. Goodnight Mr Highway.”

Callum turned his back and started to walk off, he could feel those baby-blue eyes staring intently, boring into his back. He wanted nothing more than to turn back around and run back into the safety of Ben’s arms, but he forced himself to carry on walking away.

It had been about midnight by the time Callum had managed to crawl home, he had no idea how he managed it, he’d got home before Whitney, for which he had been grateful. He towel-dried his hair before stripping off his wet clothing and draping it over the radiator in their shared bedroom. He knew Whitney hated him doing this as it made the atmosphere damp, but right now he didn’t care. He wanted to savour the moment that he had just shared with Ben.

Once again, his head was all over the place, but he also had a new sense of calm within himself. The gnawing feeling that had been eating him up inside, seemed to have resided for now.

He managed to drag his weary body into bed and lay there staring out the window listening to the rhythmic beating of the rain hitting the windowpane, whilst watching it drip down the glass like tiny diamonds twinkling in the light of the streetlights. He wondered to himself if Ben was out there, somewhere doing that as well.

  
He didn’t hear Whitney come back from her night out. He didn’t even know what time it was when she had. Eventually his eyes; exhausted from the evenings happenings started to close and he drifted off into the most peaceful sleep that he’d had in months.  
  
At last he felt safe…


	7. Doin’ Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a bit boring I felt I was leaving Whitney out. Plus it’s setting the scene 
> 
> Trust me! 
> 
> Enjoy! 🙂

It was Callum who woke first, the rain had calmed down during the night and the sunlight was now streaming in through the bedroom window, where warm golden bars of sunlight now hit the bed.

Whitney had made it home last night and was currently curled up next to Callum with her head on his chest, he had an arm wrapped around her and was lying on his back gazing up at the ceiling. He suddenly directed his gaze to stare out the window, trying to remember everything that had gone on the night before…

BEN! Callum swallowed feeling guilty.

He was taken from his thoughts by feeling Whitney stirring next to him, she groaned then yawned, before her eyes fluttered open and she smiled when she found Callum next to her in bed.

“Morning gorgeous.” Callum told her, smiling down at her. “What time did you get in last night?” He questioned her, brushing some hair out of her face.

“Mmm morning. I-I don’t know. About 1ish I think.” She told him sleepily. She ran a hand over his chest.

“Did you have a good time? I did get your message and meant to reply.”

“It’s OK…I know how you are once the football gets going.” She grinned at him.

He laughed, his eyes twinkling. He hoped she didn’t notice that he was in a particularly good mood this morning.

Whitney made to get out of bed, but he pulled her back to him. “Leave that for a minute.” He told her, moving a hand up to cup the side of her face. He ran a thumb over her lips. She turned her head to kiss his palm and smiled at him.

Callum reached out and placed a hand under her chin and tilted her face up. He lent in and placed a soft gentle kiss on her lips, before deepening the kiss.

He felt Whitney grin. “What’s got into you this morning?” She laughed at him, her eyes twinkling.

“Am I not allowed to look at my gorgeous girlfriend?” He reached out and took her face in both of his hands and looked at her.

Whitney lent in and caught Callum’s lips with hers, before moving to wrap her arms around his neck. Callum pressed his lips more forcefully against hers, and moved his hands down her body, feeling all of her curves. He heard Whitney let out a whimper of delight, so he went with the flow. He must be doing something right he thought, which made a change.

He felt Whitney slide his t-shirt off and started to kiss up his neck. “I love you Callum Highway.” She whispered in his ear.

“I love you too Whit.” He told her. He grinned at her and slid his t-shirt off that she was wearing. He gently moved to lie her back on the bed.

  


Callum chased Whitney; laughing, down the stairs of The Vic almost running Mick over in the process.

“Alright you two, where’s the fire?” Mick questioned.

Whitney just looked at Callum and giggled. He smiled his lopsided smile back at her.

Linda came in through the back door after taking Oli to school, she was looking a bit flustered.

“Would you look at the two love-bird?” Mick told her gesturing towards Callum and Whitney.

“Awww.” She smiled a soppy smile at them both. “I remember those days, don’t you Mick? We hardly left the bedroom for a month.”

“Yeah...well…” Mick scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I’d love to hear some more about you and Mick when you were younger.” Whitney told Linda.

“Maybe another day yeah?” Mick told them. “There’s some punters out there that need serving. I’m just going down the cellar to change a barrel. Could you both go out there and help out?.”

“Oh. Yeah erm...sure.” Callum replied. He picked up a cloth that was by the entrance to the bar and proceeded to playfully whip Whitney with it on her ass.

“Callum!” She laughed.

He chased her out behind the bar with it trying to whip her again whilst she tried to grab it off of him. He managed to grab her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly, before kissing her on the neck.

As he looked up, he saw Ben there, leaning forward resting both elbows on the bar top. His blue eyes met with Callum’s.

“Oh, don’t stop on my account.” He told them both, bitterly, giving them a wry smile. He absentmindedly drew circles in the condensation that had formed a puddle on the wood around his pint glass.

Whitney rolled her eyes at him.

“Don’t you know how to have fun Ben? Or is that not programmed into your personality?”

“Oh, I know how to have fun alright…maybe just not your type of ‘fun’.” He told her emphasising the last word.

Callum stood there awkwardly wringing the cloth in his hands, before glancing at Ben from under his lashes. Ben smirked at him.

“Haven’t you, I don’t know…got someone to be ripping off or something?”

“Got cover ain’t I? Plus, that’s something you shouldn’t worry your pretty little head about.” He ran a finger around the top of his pint glass.

“Whilst you’re here. Cal’s looking for a new job aren’t you Cal?” She turned and looked up at Callum.

“Oh, are you now? What’s that got to do wiv me?” Ben tilted his head on one side and looked at Whitney.

“I was wondering if you had any work going at the Car Lot?” She continued.

“Can’t he speak for himself or something?” He gestured from her to Callum.

Whitney scowled.

“Er…Yeah I was looking at branching out from working here at The Vic. Can’t be pulling pints forever you know.” Callum told him.

“Hmm…” Ben pulled a thinking face. “Nope. Don’t think I do… BUT Jay might be looking for someone to help him out at the funeral parlour. If you don’t mind handling all those dead bodies and all.”

The door to The Vic opened and Jay walked in wearing a freshly pressed, black suit and tie. He was on his lunchbreak.

“Nice of you to have waited.” He gestured looking from Ben to his pint.

“Yeah well…needs must.”

Jay walked up to the bar and Whitney poured him a pint.

“We were just talking about ya bro.” Ben told Jay slapping him on the back just as he was about to take a sip. Jay glared at him out of the side of his eyes. “Weren’t we?” Ben turned at looked at Callum who was wiping the bar down.

“Oh y-yeah, just wonderin’ if ya had any work going an that? Just looking to get away from working at the pub. Want to be able to provide for me and Whit.” He turned and smiled at Whitney, rubbing her back lightly. “Ben said ya might. If ya don’t it’s fine, I don’t want to cause any problems.”

“Ain’t he lovely?” Whitney turned and grinned up at Callum.

“Erm…ya know. I just got off the phone today with Pam and Les and they’re looking to expand the business. I was gonna knock up an advert and put it in the papers. If you wanna try out a trial run for a coupla weeks, jobs yours mate. Just no funny business wiv the corpses an that.” Jay laughed.

“Yeah Callum…no funny business.” Ben mocked.

“If you want to pop round the parlour tomorrow for 9am sharp. I can give you an introduction. Oh also, the position comes with the adjoining flat upstairs.”

Ben’s face looked sombre when he heard Jay say this. The flat had belonged to Pam and Les when they had owned the parlour. Paul had been their grandson; he had also lived with them in that flat and just the mention of it had brought back painful memories.

He abruptly set down his pint, turned, and walked out of The Vic. Callum frowned watching him go as Whitney bit her lip.

“What’s wrong wiv ‘im?” Callum asked.

Whitney swallowed. Jay ran a hand down his face, stressed.

Jay took a deep breath “Ben’s ex Paul used to live in that flat with Les and Pam…it’s a very touchy subject.”

“What d’ya mean ‘used to’.” Callum questioned.

“Erm… he and Ben went for a night out together up town. Some guys started saying some homosexual slurs towards them. Paul told him to leave it but, you know Ben? Always tries to be the big man… he went after them…the guys beat him and Paul up very badly. Paul got put in hospital…he died.”

“Oh.” Callum went silent.

“Ben truly loved Paul. In fact, I think he’s the only person he’s ever loved. Paul brought out the best in Ben. Ben blames himself for Paul’s death though. He took it extremely hard. It weren’t his fault. Those guys should never have done what they did.” Jay continued.

“Well, did he go to the police an’ that? What happened? Are they in jail?”

“Yeah. Both got sent down for manslaughter. Ben testified against them at the trial. Paul’s anniversary is next week, that’s why Ben’s particularly touchy at the moment.” Jay explained to Callum.

Whitney slid an arm around Callum’s waist and lovingly rubbed his back.

Callum’s thoughts shifted to Ben. He needed to find him, he wanted to tell him that they wouldn’t take the flat if it made things too hard for him.


	8. Prey

Later on that day Callum still couldn’t get out of his mind what Jay had just told him. So, Ben’s first boyfriend had been murdered? He could see now why he put up the ‘hard man’ exterior. He was still hurting, and rather than breaking down and showing weakness, he’d put up the tough guy walls to deflect anything that was thrown at him.

“Er...Whit I’m just gonna pop out for a sec whilst it’s calmer in here. Got some stuff I wanna ask Jay about?”

“Ok sure babe. Awww… I’m excited for you. Our own place!” Whitney squealed and grabbed his arm.

“Hopefully.” Callum replied matter-of-factly.

“Oh, come on Cal. You’ll be perfect for the job, and you’ll get to work with Jay. Oooh I might have to start discussing interior design tips with Linda!” She told him, excited.

“Just no pink fluffy stuff.” He smiled down at her.

“Promise.” Whitney grinned back.

“Well I won’t be getting a job if you won’t let me go speak to Jay.”

“Alright. I’ll see you later.” She stood on tiptoes and gave him a kiss.

Callum walked from behind the bar and out the back door. The sun was shining for a change, although there was still a nip in the air. He turned around from closing the door behind himself and bumped into Lola who was walking Lexi home from school.

“Hey you two.” He told them both and smiled down at Lexi who smiled a big tooth gapped grin back up at him and waved.

“Hey Cal. You off to see Jay? He just told me about offering you a trial at the funeral parlour. Goin’ up in the world hey?”

“Erm…no. I wanted to talk to Ben actually. You got any idea where he could be?”

“No idea I’m afraid. You tried the Car Lot? Here, let me give you his number so you can call him. In fact, if you don’t find him, I can tell him you were looking for him when he hopefully comes home tonight. He didn’t last night though, so don’t hold yer breathe.” She rolled her eyes and then continued. 

“He’s on Daddy duty tonight though so Jay and I can go out.” She smiled at Callum. “Ain’t that right Lexi.” She looked down at the little girl whose hand she was holding.

“Yeah! Daddy said I can go get ice cream later, IF I get my homework done, but I hate Maths.” She pulled a face and stuck out her bottom lip.

“Oh, DID he now? I shall have to have words with him about that.” Lola teased Lexi, before reaching into her handbag to find her phone to give Callum Ben’s number.

“Wait… so you and him?” Callum questioned.

Lola laughed. “Long story. Ben was going through his ‘closet gay’ stage and wanted to prove to himself he wasn’t. I wouldn’t change things though, otherwise I wouldn’t have had this little monster!” She bent down and picked Lexi up who shrieked. “Here.” She told Callum and gave him her phone with Ben’s number on display.

He took it from her and copied Ben’s number into his own phone. “Thanks Lola.”

“Bet you’re excited about getting your own place finally with Whit hey?”

“What? Oh. Yeah-yeah… she’s probably getting decorating tips from Linda now as we speak.”

“It’s nice to see you Callum. I better get this one home, hadn’t I?” She turned and talked to Lexi, before giving her a kiss on the forehand.

Callum smiled at them both, before waving goodbye to Lexi.

He suddenly had a rush of adrenaline. He’d got Ben’s number. He shook his head. What the hell was he, 10 years old? “Get a grip Callum.” He muttered to himself.

He decided against phoning Ben, he didn’t want to come across as desperate, so he made his way over to the Car Lot. If Ben wasn’t there, then, well, he’d just have to leave it.

In all honesty, he’d been thinking about buying Whitney a van, what with the possible new job on the horizon, it was only fair that she was treated as well. He’d use that as the guise for wanting to see him.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and rounded the corner and saw the Car Lot standing there. It didn’t look as though there was anyone there, but he decided to go and knock anyway. What was there to lose?

He knocked a couple of times and there was no answer, so he decided to try the handle. Surprisingly the door opened. There was the dim glow of a desk lamp and Callum popped his head around the corner. Ben was sat there, fiddling with the ring he wore, twisting it around his finger absentmindedly, feet on the desk, bottle of whiskey in hand.

He didn’t acknowledge Callum when he came in. but picked up the whiskey bottle and swigged some more before saying, “Oh go away Callum.” He raised his eyes to meet Callum’s and then narrowed them at him.

“Ben… I-I.” Callum started. He walked over to the desk with his hands in his trouser pockets.

“What part of I.don’t.want.to.hear.it. Don’t you understand?”

Callum sighed. “Jay told me. About Paul I mean.”

Ben was quite for a while, then suddenly stood up and pushed Callum against the wall of the office, “You know nothin’ about Paul, so stay out of it!” He stabbed a finger into his chest and glared at him.

Callum put his arms up in protest, “I-I came to say th-that if it was t-too painful for ya. Whit and I wouldn’t take th-the flat. I-I also w-wanted to see if I-I could buy a van off ya. For Whit to get her new business adventures goin’ an’ that.” He licked his lips nervously.

“I don’t care about the flat Callum.” Ben told him frustrated, running a hand down his face. He yanked Callum by the shirt again, before relaxing his grip a little, “How sweet.” He tilted his head at Callum. Callum let his arms drop down to his sides. “Ever the doting boyfriend hey Callum?” He patted him on the side of the face patronisingly.

Callum opened his mouth to say something, but Ben cut him off.

“So, are we going to talk about what happened last night or are we just going to carry on playing happy families like nothing happened?” He snidely commented to Callum. “Choice is yours.” He released Callum and moved to sit on the corner of his desk, staring intently at Callum.

“Coz as far as I see, I’m delighted to be a part of your ‘big.gay.adventure’, but I don’t think Whitney would be, do you?” He reached behind him and picked up the bottle of whiskey and two glasses. “Care to join me?” He gestured with the bottle towards Callum.

“Erm… no-no I’m good.” Callum replied and moved to sit down on the sofa that was in the office.

“Oh, come on Callum, it’s just one drink. Are you scared that I’m going to get you drunk and then ‘the big bad gay man’ is going to come after you again? Coz as nice as you are. Don’t flatter yaself.”

Callum blushed. “I just came here to apologise and buy a van off of ya for Whit.”

“And what do I get out of it?” He poured some whiskey into the two tumblers and handed one to Callum. “Listen, you do a job for me and I won’t tell Whit about your ‘dirty little secret’. What ya say?” Ben pressed his fingers together. And looked at Callum.

“I’m not playing any of your stupid games Ben!” Callum set the tumbler down and quickly stood up and flew at Ben. He punched him which knocked him flat on the ground. 

Ben held his nose to try and catch some of the blood, but Callum picked him up off the ground and then rammed him up against one of the walls, pinning him by the throat.

Ben had a cut eyebrow and Callum had managed to break his nose, which was now streaming with blood, as well as managing to split his lip.

He pressed his face up close to Ben’s “I am not playing your stupid games Ben. So, can I or can I not buy a van from you for my girlfriend?” Callum stared into Ben’s blue eyes and tried to keep his composure.

Ben started laughing in his face, which splattered blood down Callum’s shirt. “I’m sure we can work something out.” He managed to push himself forward away from the wall and inches from Callum’s face before whispering firmly, and sarcastically.  
  
“I smell queer.” He stared Callum down, and bore his eyes deeply into Callum’s eyes.

Callum shoved Ben away hard and stormed out of the office. Why did Ben have this hold over him, where he just couldn’t bring himself to fully hate him?

“We’ll sort out that van tomorrow yeah?” Callum heard Ben’s voice echo after him down the street.


	9. A Decade Under the Influence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note:- I have no idea whose mobile number that is, if it is someone's at all.  
PLEASE don't try texting or ringing it!!  
😩

Ben left the Car Lot and made his way over to the funeral parlour. He wanted a word with Jay before he made his way back to Ian’s to resume ‘daddy duties’ with Lexi, whilst Jay and Lola went out to the E20 for the night.

He’d managed to clean and tape himself up as best he could, so that he wouldn’t look too terrifying to Lexi, and still somewhat resembled her father. And as painful as it was, he had managed to reset his own nose.

Ben despised hospitals. He’d never been much of a fan anyway, but since Paul had died, they only served as a reminder to him of the pain and loss that caused the empty void in his heart. So, he tried to avoid them like the plague.

He was about to cross the road to the funeral parlour, when he was grabbed from behind.

“You stay away from my brother!” The person stabbed a finger hard into Ben’s chest and shoved him up against the wall outside The Vic.

“And you would be…?” Ben questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Callum’s brother Stuart, and you better remember that.”

“Oh…so he’s set his personal bodyguard on me now. Cute.” Ben reached out and patted Stuart on the side of the face.

Stuart grabbed Ben’s hand and pulled it away from his face. “I mean it. Stop trying to persuade Callum to do things he doesn’t want to.”

“You think I’ve been making Callum come and see me? I think what you really need to question is, why Callum can’t seem to keep away from me.” He dramatically gestured to himself.

“Callum ain’t like you. He ain’t no poof.”

“Gay, Stuart, – I think the word you’re looking for is gay." He smirked at Stuart, " I however, beg to differ, but what would I know? I’m just the big, bad homosexual who must have tempted him in his devilish ways. Because his brother supposedly knows him, oh so well. So, if you’re quite done, Uncle Fester, I have some business to attend to.” Ben pushed himself out, past Stuart.

“Just stay away from him yeah!” Stuart shouted after him.

Ben raised a hand in acknowledgement as he walked off.

He didn’t look up to see that the commotion between Stuart and himself had caused some twitching curtains, and that Callum was peering out to the street below wondering what was going on, until he saw Stuart grabbing a hold of the front of Ben and slam him against a wall. What the hell was he doing? And why was he roughing up Ben?

Callum hoped that Stuart wasn’t wading in again, trying to pull the Big Brother act. He really wished he wouldn’t sometimes.

Ben pushed open the door to Coker and Mitchell Funeral Directors and saw Jay sat at a table surrounded by paperwork, looking confused and flustered.

“Come to lend a hand have ya?” Jay questioned Ben not looking up from the mound of paperwork that lay before him.

“The first living one this place has seen? Erm… no. Thought that was going to be Callum’s job anyway?”

“Yeah. I’ll probably ease him in gently.” Jay gestured towards the paperwork then looked up. “Oh, Ben what have you gone and done now!” He exclaimed and flung down the pen he was using, when he saw Ben’s face.

“Just taking care of some business.” Ben shrugged and smirked at him.

“You’ve gotta stop this Ben. Think of Lexi, what’s she gonna think when you go home tonight and you have a black-eye, split lip and swollen nose? Did you break your nose?”

“I dunno. Probably. I put it back myself.”

Jay tutted and shook his head.

“Jay, why did you tell Callum about Paul? I don’t need people knowing my business.” He told Jay firmly, but kindly.

“Well it was kind of hard not to the way you suddenly jumped up and legged it out The Vic. Look, I know Paul’s anniversary is coming up and I know how hard you find it. I thought it would be nice to have yer mates about you an all?”

“Callum’s not ‘my mate’.”

“Well Whitney is, and as far as I can see they come as a package. Besides, what’s he gonna do? Stand in the middle of the square and yell ‘I know Ben Mitchell’s biggest secret? What’s your problem with him anyway? I’ve seen you two glaring at one another on more than one occasion?”

Ben happened to glance up and saw the time, which was his queue to get out of Jay’s interrogation about Callum.

“Jay, look leave that.” He gestured towards the paperwork. “It’s nearly 5pm and I have a daughter to spoil and you have a date to be on.”

Jay smiled, “Lola told me something about you promising Lexi ice cream. Apparently, Lexi’s been driving Lola crazy about it ever since you promised her. She’s got you wrapped around her little finger that one.” Jay gave Ben a smile

“Proper little daddy’s girl she is.” Ben grinned back.

Callum walked outside and managed to grab Stuart just as he was stalking off from seeing Ben off.

“Stu! What was all that about? I don’t need ya fightin’ my battles for me.” Callum protested.

“I’ve seen how he’s always sniffing around you an’ that Callum. It ain’t normal. Is he harassing you? Is he trying to sway ya?”

“No…NO!” Callum exclaimed when he realised what Stuart was getting at. “I’ve been tryin’ to buy a van off of him for Whit.”

Stuart frowned at Callum.

“I’m havin’ a trial period at the funeral parlour and want to buy Whit a van so she can get her clothing business goin’. Ben’s got one I’m goin’ ta buy.”

Stuart still didn’t look entirely convinced.

“Look, trust me Stu. Leave him alone he ain’t messing wiv me.”

“Mmm…well if he is. You come to me yeah, and I’ll sort him out.”

“Y-yeah-yeah I will. Thanks.” Callum replied and watched Stuart walk off down the street.

He quickly fished out his phone and decided to message Ben and apologise for Stuart and to try and arrange a meeting with him tomorrow to finally purchase the van for Whitney.

‘_Hey it’s Callum,_

_Sorry about Stuart earlier, I told him that wasn’t on. Look, I want to meet wiv you tomorrow, to buy that van from ya. Can meet after my meeting at the parlour wiv Jay. Say 11am at the Car Lot?”_

Ben was greeted in the door by Lexi in full princess costume, flying at him and wrapping her arms around his neck as he bent to pick her up. “DADDYYYYYYY!” She shrieked.

“Alright, princess, have you been a good girl for Mummy?” He asked her reaching out to straighten the tiara on her head that she was wearing and kissing her on the forehead.

Lola wandered into the sitting room putting in some hooped earrings. She walked over to Jay and gave him a kiss on the cheek, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer into himself, giving her one back on the lips.

“She has actually. She’s been as good as gold sitting down with me doing her Maths homework – what on earth have you done to your face?” Lola told Ben.

Ben shrugged at her, then said “Ohh Maths is it? Proper little brainbox we’ve got here then Lo.” He tickled Lexi and she squirmed, laughing.

Lola laughed. “Yeah and no doubt you’ll undo all that goodness I installed into her, by spoiling her.” Lola looked at Ben and tutted.

“Yeah well…you know what brainboxes deserve?” He looked at Lexi.

She shook her head and then her brain clicked and she shouted “ICE CREAM!!”

Ben laughed. “Come on you. Let’s get you some of that ice cream before it all melts away!” He swung her round and made to head for the front door.

“Oh Ben. Callum was looking for you earlier, did he manage to catch you?” Lola questioned suddenly remembering her conversation with Callum earlier.

“Yeah-yeah he did.” He gave her a small smile. “Right then misses, lets get you some ice cream. And no getting it down your top like last time.” He told Lexi setting her down. “Have a good evening you two.” He told Lola and Jay, walking out the door with Lexi.

Just as he got outside, he heard his phone, and reached into his pocket to pull it out and looked at the illuminated screen.

_1 message - +447399139410_

He frowned at the unrecognised number and opened the message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how Ben manages to fix his own broken nose. ‘Ard as nails that man! 😂💪🏻


	10. Bitemarks and Bloodstains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE! 🎃  
Think this is my longest chapter yet. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Callum heard his phone ping; telling him that he had a new message. He was currently helping Mick out with the pub, whilst Whitney was somewhere upstairs having a ‘girls’ night in’ with Linda.

He handed Patrick over his tumbler of rum. “Enjoy.” He told him, before pulling his phone out of trouser pocket and looked at the screen.

_1 message-Ben_

Callum opened the message

_Out wiv Lexi at the minute. Can probably get mum to look after her for an hourish._

_Meet me at the caf in an hour. Don’t be late. I don’t like to be kept waiting._

Callum put his phone back in his pocket and went over to Mick.

“Err… Mick is it ok if I knock off for an hour at 9. Need to go meet Jay about some business with the parlour?” He asked.

“Oooh I dunno Cal, knocking off to discuss business with the competition.” Mick teased him. “Yeah sure, no problem. Pleased to see you’re starting a career. Gotta fly the nest at some point.”

“I just want to provide for Whit, so we can have a future together.”

“She’s a good one that one. She loves the bones out of you. Don’t mess it up yeah?”

Callum swallowed. “Yeah…no-no I won’t.”

“Good lad.” Mick cuffed him playfully round the head.

  


Ben had managed to get Kathy to look after Lexi for an hour, to give him a chance to talk to Callum in the caf. He grabbed his coat and shoved his hands in his pockets, before stalking off across The Square to his mum’s café.

It was a clear evening out and the moon shone brightly, illuminating the pavement. The Square was abnormally quiet for this time of night, and he thought he heard some rustling coming from some bushes. He paused a second to listen, before carrying on his way.

What Ben didn’t see was that someone was watching him, very, very closely.

He reached the door to the caf and pushed it open, the warm air from inside hitting him like a sauna. It was a nice contrast to the chill night air outside. He quickly scanned around and couldn’t see Callum there yet. He rolled his eyes and sighed to himself before making his was over to the counter.

“Probably got cold feet after all the action earlier.” He muttered to himself.

He placed an order for an Americano and went and sat down in a booth near a window. He liked to be able to see who was around. You could never be too careful as to who was out and about, he never left himself open to attack. Something he picked up very quickly during his stint in prison.

He was idly scrolling through his phone, when he heard the door to the café open and a gust of cold air waft through. He glanced up and saw Callum come in.

The waitress came and brought his coffee over. “Cheers, and I’ll pay for whatever he’s having.” Ben thanked her and pointed to Callum who was now standing at the counter.

“Sure.” She smiled back at Ben.

He watched as she walked back over to the counter and say something to Callum, who he then saw in return spin around and look in the direction the girl was pointing. Ben winked back at Callum.

Callum made his way over to the booth that Ben was sitting in and came and sat opposite him, hands still in his pockets, looking like he was ready for the get go, should Ben try anything with him.

“You can relax you know.” Ben told him, stretching out his legs under the table. “I won’t bite…hard.” He teased Callum.

Ben saw Callum’s ears turn red, whilst he busily tried to distract himself by taking off his coat.

He sipped his coffee slowly, his eyes never leaving Callum as he did so.

“So…you want to talk to me about this van do ya?” He questioned Callum, setting the cup down on the saucer and moving to press his fingertips together, resting his chin on them and looking at Callum.

“Yeah-yeah…like I told you before. I want to buy a van for Whit, to help her with her clothing business. I want it to be a nice surprise for her ‘an that.”

The waitress brought Callum’s tea over to him and set it down on the table. He looked up and thanked her.

“I might have somethin’ that’ll do tha job. But are you sure that’s all you’re here for Callum?” Ben took on a serious tone. Something he didn’t often do.

“Yeah…what do ya mean?” Callum questioned.

“I’m sensing somebody who has a lot of ‘daddy issues’. The way your big brother went after me an all.”

Ben could tell that he’d hit a nerve and for once felt mildly guilty. He’d been there before with Phil. For years he’d tried to be who his dad wanted him to be, and he had the added pressure of the Mitchell name hanging over him.

“Look Callum. I know what it’s like to have a dad with a reputation, and the expectations that come with it. Believe me I’ve been there. I’ve tried for years to prove to my old man that I’m just as much of a man as him, that I can handle my own business etc. But nothing I have ever done has gained me that respect.”

Ben reached out to place a hand on Callum’s that was wrapped around his mug of tea. He quickly removed them and placed them in his lap.

“I came back to Walford, because my mum told me that Phil is planning to sell off The Arches. He forged my signature and that he thinks so little of me, that he’s written me out of his will and instead included Keanu. He’s written out his own flesh and blood and replaced that with someone he hardly knows who’s just knocked up his daughter!”

He saw Callum’s gaze lift from looking down into his lap, to meet Ben’s.

“Do you know how degrading that is? To know that your own father thinks so little of you? Well I’m not going to let him get away with it. I’m gonna fight for what’s mine and tear him down until he hasn’t got a penny to his name.”

Callum saw a shadow cast over Ben’s face as he told him this.

“Look, come with me to the Car Lot and we can sort out that van for ya.” Ben suddenly told Callum, aware that he was doing most of the talking.

“But it’s nearly 10pm Ben.” Callum told him.

“Christ, has Whitney got you on a short leash? You’ll be textin’ her every 2 minutes soon updating her of your every move.” Ben rolled his eyes and finished the dregs of his coffee. “She’s got you right under the thumb, that one.”

“Actually, I wanted to get an early night before I met up with Jay tomorrow.”

“You’re the one who text me about the van. Do you want it or not? Come on.” Ben stood up and grabbed his coat, pulling it on. Callum quickly followed suit.

Once they got to the Car Lot, Ben fished around in a filing cabinet to find the paperwork for the van that Callum had his eye on for Whitney and they sat down at the desk.

“Right. So, if you just sign here, here annnnnd here.” Ben showed Callum where he needed to sign on the forms, “Then you’ve now become the proud owner of a van.” He held out the keys to Callum, letting them dangle from a finger in front of him and gave Callum a cheeky grin.

Callum slowly reached out and took the keys from Ben, his fingers gently brushed Ben’s as he did and that same static shock of energy that he had felt from Ben before, shot up his arm and through his entire body.

“I think this causes for a little celebration.” Ben told Callum and opened the bottom drawer of the desk. He took out the bottle of whiskey that he had been drinking from earlier. There was still about a third left. He produced two tumblers and poured some of the dark amber liquid into each and held one out to Callum who gingerly took it from him.

“To Mr Callum Highway and his new business adventure.” Ben toasted him. “So…” He came to sit next to Callum on the couch in the office. “I’ve told you about my pathetic excuse of a family. I think it’s only right you divulge to me about yours.” He crossed a leg over his knee and lent back, resting his back against the sofa, one arm resting along the top.

“Erm…well. I dunno. I guess my dad’s always wanted someone to follow after him in the army and Stu has asthma, so I guess it came down to me to join and keep him happy.”

“You shouldn’t have ta do things to keep your old man happy Callum. You should live your life doing what you want to do.” Ben prodded him with a finger from the hand that was holding the tumbler of whiskey. “Live your life doing the things you want ta do, an’…”

He trailed off when he realised Callum had start to sob. “Every day of my life, until-until I joined the army, h-he would beat me. Call me weak and pathetic, told me I-I would amount to nothin’, that I-I would always be walked over, un-unless I stood up for myself…I-I joined to escape him. I-I don’t w-want to go b-back.” He sobbed.

Ben paused for a second, still and quiet. Just looking at Callum and taking him in. Before he slowly reached out and pulled him into his body and let him cry it out into his chest. He gently stroked the back of Callum’s head, soothingly and calmly.

Eventually, Callum pulled away from him. “I-I’m sorry about yer shirt.” He sniffed. 

“This old thing?” Ben pulled at it. “Don’t worry yer self. I-I…”

Ben was cut off by Callum reaching out and softly cupping the side of his face in his hand and looking at him. Ben didn’t respond, but Callum lent in and softly caught Ben’s lips with his. For a while Ben didn’t respond and kiss him back, but slowly his emotions got the better of him and he reached out with a hand to place it on top of Callum’s that was still cupping the side of his face, before moving his other hand to place it on the back of Callum’s neck and deepen the kiss.

For the first time since Paul had passed away, he felt safe. He didn’t feel lonely anymore. He felt wanted.


	11. Handle Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Probably one of the ones you've all been waiting for....

The kissing became more frantic and passionate with each kiss. Callum backed Ben against one of the walls in the office and used his body to pin him there. He reached out and grabbed the lapels of Ben’s coat to bring his body closer to his. He had never felt so alive.

Ben moved to kiss up Callum’s neck, his kisses leaving a trail of fire in their wake. He heard Callum groan in his ear and he smirked to himself. He was then taken from his thoughts to the sense of Callum tugging on his belt. “Not so much of a rookie after all.” Ben questioned Callum, looking down at Callum’s hands on his undone belt.

Callum blushed and stopped what he was doing.

“Don’t stop, it’s not nice to keep a man waiting.” Ben told him. He reached out and grabbed Callum’s face in both of his hands and ran his thumbs over Callum’s cheekbones.

Ben then moved one of his hands down to his trousers and undid the button and zipper. He slowly reached out and took one of Callum’s hands and placed it on himself through his boxers.

He felt Callum’s hand tense to start with and then relax more, which caused Ben to groan loudly in Callum’s ear as he nuzzled into Callum’s neck.

“A-am I hurting you?” Callum asked Ben quietly, slightly nervous.

“You really have never been with a bloke before have ya?” Ben told him and kissed his neck.

He reached and gently took Callum’s hand in his and slowly guided it down under the waistband of his boxers, to the warm, soft flesh below. Ben smirked at Callum and Callum gave him a small unsure smile. Ben kept his hand on Callum’s and manoeuvred him to take hold of his cock.

Callum looked at Ben, bathed in the warm glow of the desk lamp, which cast a golden halo around his head. He couldn’t help but take a short breath in at the fact that he resembled an angel, although he knew he was far from one.

Ben’s eyes softened, causing little crinkles to melt them at the corners, which made them seem to smile in their own right. He smiled a gentle lopsided smile up at Callum, and guided Callum’s hand to start a slow rhythmic motion, stroking up and down, before removing his own and allowing Callum to continue on his own.

Callum nipped gentle, little kisses along Ben’s jawline, which caused Ben to open his mouth in ecstasy, which in turn, Callum attacked; firmly placing his lips to Ben’s like a limpet.

Ben encircled Callum’s willowy frame with his arms and moved to slide his hands up underneath Callum’s checked shirt at the back, letting them explore the wide expanse of soft skin that lay beneath.

After a while he could feel himself getting close to climaxing. Callum looked down at him and saw Ben’s head tilted back and eyes rolled upwards, mouth slightly agape. He quickened his speed with his hand and felt Ben suddenly tense and dig his nails into Callum’s back.

“FUUUCK!” Ben exclaimed as he came. He moaned loudly and dragged his nails down Callum’s back. Callum moved to encapsulate Ben’s mouth with his own and Ben bit his bottom lip.

They both stood there looking at each other, breathing deeply, foreheads resting together, in the glow of the desk lamp, silently, with only the sound of the raindrops dripping off the tree that overhung the office, landing rhythmically on the roof.

After he had caught his breath, Ben stood on his tiptoes to catch Callum’s lips and give him one last small kiss, before turning behind himself to the desk, and grabbing some tissues from the box that sat there. He wiped himself clean, before tucking himself back in and doing up his trousers.

“Looks like you got a bit on ya.” He told Callum nodding then smirking, when he noticed a dark patch on Callum’s jeans.

Callum blushed profusely and Ben held out the tissue box to him. He took a couple and proceeded to dab at the patch.

“Well that’s the best hand-job I’ve been given in a while.” Ben told Callum, leaning back against the desk, crossing his arms over his chest, looking at Callum.

Callum quietly unlocked the backdoor to The Vic. It was about 2am and he was cursing himself for staying out this late, knowing he was meeting Jay later to start his trial at the parlour. He had wanted to get a good nights’ sleep so that he could make a good first impression.

He was about to click the door shut and lock it, when he spun round and found Stuart there.

“FUCK!” Callum shouted, jumping.

“Good night?” Stuart asked, questioning him, whilst looking intently at him, his eyes narrow.

“Err-er yeah. Just went out for a bit of fresh air an’ that. Gets stuffy in there sometimes and I like to go clear my head.” He gestured with a thumb over his shoulder towards The Vic.

“I know you’ve been to see him.” Stuart told Callum bluntly.

“Him? Who? What?” Callum tried to play dumb, but could feel that familiar feeling of warmth gradually creeping up the back of his neck, to his ears.

“Ben. Mitchell. That’s who. Cal don’t try and deny it. I saw you.”

Callum could feel his ears burning red hot by now. Stuart, saw him and Ben…at the Car Lot…together… He could hear his head screaming internally at him, but he took a breath and tried to keep cool.

“At the caf earlier.” Stuart continued.

Callum felt as if he could jump on his brother and give him a hug right there and then, which wouldn’t have made any sense to him whatsoever, and probably have made things far worse. So he’d only seen them at the caf beforehand, and none of the stuff that followed.

“Yeah…I went and got a coffee. He was there and invited me to sit wiv ‘im.”

“Ben Mitchell doesn’t just ‘invite someone to sit with him’ Cal. What’s going on? Is he making you do some of his dirty work for him, coz you and I know exactly where that leads?”

Stuart was talking about their father’s 8-year stint in prison for ‘Extortion and GBH’ when they had been younger. Funnily enough, those years that their father had been locked away, had been some of the happiest years of Stuart and Callum’s lives, and they often wished he’d been sentenced for longer.

Callum suddenly remembered the van keys in his pocket, at least he wouldn’t have to lie about this one… as much. “Stu. I-I told you I was buying Whit a van. Ben invited me to sit and talk about it wiv him, look.” He produced the van keys and held them out for Stuart to see. “You can’t tell her though. It’s a secret. Once I get this job at the parlour for definite, I’m going to tell her.”

Stuart still didn’t look entirely convinced, but gave Callum a nod of approval.

“She a nice girl Callum. She’s good for ya. You don’t need to be hanging out with the likes of him and his sort.” Stuart gestured angrily.

“I know Stuart. I love her, please just go and get some rest. I have to be at the funeral parlour later for my first day. I’m tired and I want to make a good impression to Jay.”

“Remember bruv. If he comes sniffing round. Come to me Yeah? Good luck for later and all that.”

“I don’t need you to fight my battles for me anymore Stu, but cheers. I’ll see you soon. We’ll meet up for a pint soon yeah?”

“Sounds good. Catch ya later.”

Callum shut the door behind himself and locked up, whilst quietly tiptoeing up the stairs to his and Whitney’s room. As he did, he heard his phone ping to tell him he had a message.

_1 message-Ben_

He opened the message, feeling sick at not knowing what it was going to say.

_I guess I know why they call you ‘Halfway’ ; )_

_Putting my serious voice on now though. If you ever need to talk. I am here._

_X_

Callum suddenly felt his adrenaline kick in again. He was like a teenager receiving a message from their first crush. Except he wasn’t a teenager, and this wasn’t a crush, and this wasn’t a woman. It was a bloke, and liking blokes was wrong… wasn’t it?


	12. Skin and Atmosphere

Callum was awoken by the sound of his phone alarm going off. He didn’t even remember setting it when he got in last night, but mentally praised himself for doing so.

He groaned and rolled over to cancel the alarm he’d set for 8am and looked at his phone.

_1 message- Stu_

He ignored it to look at later and flung the duvet off of himself before rolling over and giving Whitney a good morning kiss.

She stirred and rolled over. “Mmm did your alarm go off?” She sleepily asked him.

“Yeah. Got my big day, today haven’t I?” He smiled at her.

“You’ll smash it, I know you will.” She lent in and gave him a firm kiss, before pulling away and smiling at him. “The first day of the rest of our lives together. We’re going up in the world babe.” She reached out and hugged him tightly.

“Best get on. Don’t wanna be late.” He kissed her quickly on the cheek, then stood up taking his phone with him into the kitchen.

Callum spooned some instant coffee into a mug and put some water on to boil, before popping some bread into the toaster. He lent against the counter top whilst he waited and opened Stuart’s message.

_Just a heads up. Dad’s comin’ to town. X_

Callum nearly dropped his phone when he saw those four words typed out on the screen in front of him; ‘Dad’s comin’ to town’. He literally felt his heart drop to his stomach and hadn’t even noticed that the kettle had boiled and that his toast was ready until Mick wandered sleepily into the kitchen.

“You like eating charcoal do ya son?” Mick questioned, walking over to the toaster, popping it and then waving a tea towel over it to dissipate the smoke that was emanating from the top.

“What? Huh?” Callum questioned Mick, managing to tear his eyes away from his phone screen for a split second.

“Toast, Callum.” Mick pointed out.

“Oh er…sorry!”

“You OK? Seem a bit distant there?”

“Stu messaged me to say our dads comin’ to pay a visit.”

“Jonno. He’s comin’ here?” Mick questioned unsure if he had heard Callum correctly.

Callum didn’t speak but slowly nodded at Mick. He saw Mick frown back at him.

“Why? When was the last time you and Stuart saw him?”

“I dunno, I try not to think about it.”

“Mmm…” Mick nodded thoughtfully. “Try not to think about that now yeah? Don’t want it to spoil your first day wiv Jay, do ya?” He patted Jay on the back.

Callum nodded back and plucked his almost chargrill piece of toast from the toaster, walking over to the bin and scraping what remained, trying to salvage some part of it that resembled something edible.

He walked back to the countertop and put the slice on a plate and buttered it, before pouring his cup of coffee and sitting down at the table to have his breakfast.

Callum, nervously straightened his tie as he made his way across The Square to Coker and Mitchell. There were so many thoughts running through his head right now. His dad; if he could even bear to call him that, was coming to visit. He honestly thought he was in a living nightmare right now and wanted nothing more than to run.

Run… run to where? He didn’t know. He could feel his heart beating faster and faster, his chest getting tighter and tighter and he knew he was in the midst of a panic attack. He staggered over to a bench and sunk down onto it and buried his head in his hands and wept.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been sat there for. But he was suddenly brought to his senses by someone sitting next to him and whispering. ‘Breathe’.

Callum took a deep breath in and slowly released it, gradually feeling himself grounding.

The person placed a hand on his back and reassuringly rubbed it. The feeling was calming and made Callum feel safe and secure.

“Just. Breathe.” The person told him again, and he did. He gulped in another lungful of air. “Count slowly.” The person instructed.

Callum did as he exhaled, “1…2…3…4…5.” When the last bit of air had finally escaped his lips he sat back, resting against the bench and rand a hand down his face.

“Feeling better?” The person questioned.

Callum pulled his hand away from his face and slowly opened his eyes, turning towards the source of the voice. His eyes widened in surprise as he saw Ben sitting there.

“B-Ben!?” He exclaimed, shocked.

Ben smiled a small smile at him. “You best get going. Don’t want ta keep Jay waitin”. He reached out and place a hand on Callum’s thigh and lightly squeezed it.

Callum was still in shock, but reached out and removed Ben’s hand from his thigh, looking around The Square to see if anyone had seen them. He saw Ben frown at his sudden gesture. A looked of confusion and then hurt gradually spread across it. Callum hated himself for hurting Ben with that one, single action, but he wasn’t thinking straight at this moment in time.

He slowly stood up on shaky legs and gathered himself, before carrying on his way across The Square without so much as a glance back at Ben, who he knew was still sat on the bench staring after him as gradually disappeared from view.

Callum managed to make it through the door to the parlour with 5 minutes to spare. He knew it didn’t look too good, but at least he had still made it on time. He paused with one hand braced on the door, took one more big breath and pushed open the door.

Jay was stood at the table in the reception room laying out some pamphlets. He looked up when he heard the door open and smiled at Callum, before dropping his smile and saying “You alright mate? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Jay chuckled at his own ironic joke.

“No-no I’m fine.” Callum ran a hand through his hair sweeping it back. “Honestly.” He added.

“Ok…well if you’re sure?”

Callum nodded.

“So, first thing I’m going to do is show ya around. Talk about what we do and offer. Then I’ll talk ya through the different packages we offer.”

Callum nodded, trying to reign in his thoughts back from Ben, to what Jay was saying about the job in hand. He couldn’t afford to blow it. His and Whitney’s future was riding on him getting this job. He fiddled nervously with his tie and swallowed.

“But the very first thing I’m gonna have to get ya to do is all the boring paperwork I’m afraid.” Jay’s voice came floating back over to him, interrupting his train of thoughts. “I’ll go make us a tea, coffee, whilst I leave ya to fill in the boring stuff.”

“Erm...tea would be good. Milk, 1 sugar.” Callum told Jay, pulling out a chair to sit in from the table in front of him, before smoothing his tie down and sitting.

Jay went off out the back to make the drinks for them both.

Callum pulled his chair in and slid the paperwork towards himself, reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket for a pen. He paused. Pen in hand and looked around the room. He wondered how many endless cups of tea and coffee has been consumed in this room. How many different emotions had been felt? How many tears had been shed?

He was suddenly aware of a hard lump that had formed in his throat and forced himself to swallow it down, focusing on the task in hand.  


The rest of the day went as smoothly as could be expected, what with Callum having had the bombshell of his father coming to visit being dropped on him. It was winding up to closing time and Jay was just giving Callum a round up of the day going over a few things and giving him some paperwork to read over and memorise.

“You did well today Callum for your first day.” Jay smiled at him and patted him on the back. “Better than I did. At least you managed to avoid knocking over the coffin trestles.” He laughed.

Callum gave him a smile.

“Hey listen, you fancy a couple of drinks at the E20 tonight? Bring Whitney along and that. Lola has Billy looking after Lexie tonight for some grandfather-granddaughter time, and I know she’s not one to turn down a few drinks.” Jay asked Callum and laughed.

“Yeah sure. Why not.” Callum replied. “Is-er…is Ben gonna be there too?” He tried to ask as casually as he could, willing the heat that was starting at the base of his neck, to stop spreading upwards.

“Dunno mate. If Billy’s looking after Lexi he might be free. Although he’s been walking around with a shit-eating grin on his face the past couple of days, so I wouldn’t be surprise if he’s off ‘entertaining’ for the evening. I’ll ask him anyway.” Jay rolled his eyes.

Callum managed to stifle his embarrassment behind his mug of tea.

“I’m so pleased for you babe.” Whitney told Callum as they walked down the darkened street, that was Illuminated by the streetlights towards the E20. “And I’m please that you think you’re going to enjoy it there. Jay will be an excellent boss I can tell.” She rubbed his back lovingly.

“Jay showed me the flat that comes wiv the job. Looks good, plenty of room for the two of us.”

“Or maybe three.” Whitney told him quietly.

Callum quickly turned his head to look at her.

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?” He questioned her and stopped walking to look at her.

“Well… only if you’re on the same page…was just a thought…”

“L-let’s just focus on me getting the job first yeah? There’s plenty of time for that later.” He moved to take a hold of her upper arms and rubbed them gently before leaning in to give her a kiss.

“Yeah-yeah you’re right.” She smiled, the grinned at him.

They reached the E20 and Callum opened the door, letting Whitney go in first.

“Ever the gentleman hey Callum?” He spun around and found Jay behind them with Lola in tow.

“At least he had the consideration to think about doing that. Unlike some people.” Lola scowled at Jay.

Jay opened his mouth “What are you on about? I always hold the door open for you.”

“Except for the time I was walking into the lounge with a mug of tea and you let it go, covering me in tea, and the time that we went to the supermarket and you let it swing back in my face nearly giving me a black eye. Oh, and that time…”

“Ok Lo I get the point.” Jay told her.

She looked at him smugly then said to Callum and Whitney “See. He knows I’m always right.” She turned and gave Jay a kiss.

Both couples went in and took some seats in a booth in the corner of the room, the music was pulsing, but it wasn’t too busy a night.

“What can I get ya to drink Whit?” Callum asked her, shouting over the music.

“Erm..a G&T please Cal.”

He disappeared to the bar with Jay and left Whitney and Lola chatting together.

“Lexi’s getting big now ain’t she?” Whitney asked Lola.

“Yeah she is. Had to buy her new school shoes the other day as she’d grown out of her old ones, that was once I’d managed to ring the money out of Ben.” She rolled her eyes.

Whitney laughed. “He not coming tonight?”

“Nah. Don’t think he fancied being a third wheel an that. Said something about Netflix and chill, but we all know what that means.” Lola wrinkled her nose at the thought.

“Be nice to see him settle down for once. Especially as it’s been coming up to 3 years since Paul passed.”

“Yeah it would. I know Jay worries about him a lot, but, he’s Ben. What can ya do?” She shrugged.

The boys came back carrying drinks and slipped into the booth next to their significant others. They started making idle chat amongst themselves, when they were interrupted by someone staggering over to them and knocking into their table, spilling their drinks.

“Hey watch it!” Lola exclaimed and turned to give them an earful.

“Well isn’t this cosy?” Ben sneered drunkenly at the two couples sat there.

Callum quickly looked down at his shoes to avoid eye contact. He could feel Ben’s eyes; although drunk, boring into him.

“Ben how many drinks have you had?” Jay asked him, a hint of worry to his voice. He knew Ben liked a drink, but he hadn’t seen him this drunk since well… Paul died.

“Not enough if you ask me. Anyway, what’s it to you?” He wavered holding his glass in his hand.

“Ben, be nice. Jay’s just looking out for you.” Whitney told him.

“I told ya. I don’t need looking after. I’m a big boy now.” He drunkenly grinned, gripping onto their table to steady himself.

“I-I think…”

“Oh leave it out Whit, I don’t need to hear anymore from you. Your boyfriend.”He spat, “has already given me a mouthful earlier.” He smirked and watched Callum suddenly jolt his head up and glare daggers toward him and his ears started burning like the pits of hell.

Whitney turned to look at Callum and gave him a puzzled look.

“Anyway… I’ll leave you ‘happy couples’ to it. Wouldn’t want me to spoil your fun” He mocked “Looks like I’m spoilt for choice in here with all this totty walking about. Who knows, I may even get lucky enough to have two in one go tonight.” He grinned lazily and turned to walk away, stumbling against their table as he did.

They watched after him as he made a beeline for a guy in the corner next to the bar, and saw him strike up a conversation with him, both leaning into one another to whisper sweet nothings to one another. Next thing they knew, Ben was kissing him and moved a hand down to squeeze his ass. He lent in once again to the guy and said something, nodding towards the door.

Callum saw the guy smile back at Ben and set his drink down on the bar top, before hopping down and following Ben out of the club. Suddenly, he didn’t feel so safe anymore. He realised what was wrong. For the first time in his life he was realising what it was like to have your heart shattered into a million pieces…


	13. Release the Freak (Touch Me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. I can say I've never written a gay sex scene before...but 'smut ahoy!', here we are. 🤷🏻♀️

Callum felt sick to his stomach. He knew that he was the reason for Ben’s behaviour tonight and it was eating him up inside.

He made an excuse, telling Whitney that he needed to go to the bathroom and that he’d be right back.

The pounding music was starting to get to him and making his own head pound. He made his way to the bathroom and went into one of the stalls locking the door behind himself.

A bitter taste of bile reached his mouth and he felt his saliva glands pucker. Suddenly, his stomach lurched and he rushed to the toilet bowl, shoved his head down it and wretched. After he had finished, he knelt hunched over the bowl for a little while gathering himself, trying to calm himself down.

Why did it bother him so much as to what Ben did? He was so confused and his head felt like it was full of mush, just floating around in there with no real purpose to it. Why did Ben have this spell over him? Why couldn’t he get him out of his head?

He sank back on his heels, before turning and slumping with his back against the wall of the stall and buried his head in his hands and sobbed.

After a while of feeling sorry for himself, Callum dried his eyes on his shirt sleeve, before reaching into his trouser pocket and fishing out his phone. He unlocked it and started to type out a message:

_I need to see you. Meet me in the park in 15 minutes._

He hummed and hawed about sending the message, before summoning up the courage to hit ‘send’, knowing that if he didn’t send the text, he’d regret it. Whether Ben responded or not was another matter.

He knew he had to go to the park no matter what. He hoped Ben would turn up of course, but if he didn’t; and he hoped he would, Callum guessed he’d have to do what he had had drilled into him continuously by his father, and suck it up.

He could feel his adrenaline starting to increase and he didn’t want to lie to Whit, but he needed to see Ben. He needed to at least apologise to him, he owed him that much. He had seen Ben’s face earlier when he had brushed off his hand from his leg and the guilt was tearing him up inside.

Ben was like a drug to him and one he wasn’t prepared to give up that easily.

He looked down at his watch and knew he had to leave now if he was going to stay true to his word.

The temperature had dropped outside and Callum could see his breath as he exhaled when he walked.

He had sent Whitney a text saying that Stuart had needed to see him about some urgent family business. Whitney hadn’t been happy and he felt horrible lying to her, but he had to do this. He felt his heart rate increasing as he neared the park. He hoped Ben would turn up, but had resided himself to the fact that he wouldn’t.

Callum walked over to a picnic table and sat down. He blew on his hands and rubbed them together to try and warm them up and glanced down at his phone, no reply from Ben and only 5 minutes left.

It was a still, calm night. Not a rustle in the trees. It was so quiet that if Callum had a pin to drop, he would probably have been able to hear it.

Nervously tapping his leg, worrying, he began to absent-mindedly pick at the skin around his thumb; something he hadn’t done since he was little and still living with his father and Stuart. It was something he only did when he was very stressed. It was a coping mechanism, granted not a very nice one and one that some would deem as self-harm.

He was picking away at his thumb, when he managed to draw blood “Shit! Ow!” He exclaimed and put his thumb in his mouth to stop the flow.

He pulled out his phone once more. 1 minute to go. He sighed deeply to himself. “I guess, he’s not gonna show.” Callum muttered to himself. He tilted his head to the sky and stared into the inky blackness, breathing in lungsful of the fresh night air.

Eventually, he stood up off the bench and slipped his phone into his back pocket and zipped up his jacket, slipping his hands into his trouser pockets and turning to walk off.

“Callum?”

He heard a voice call out his name.

Callum stopped in his tracks and then slowly turned around.

Ben was stood there, in the shadows of a tree. He looked slightly more sober than when Callum had last seen him in the E20.

“Ben?” Callum questioned. He tried to keep the tone of his voice as calm as possible.

Ben made his way over to where Callum was stood, before reaching out and gently taking one of Callum’s hands in his. Again, like the first time Callum ever touched Ben, there was that familiar electrical spark between them, and Ben’s eyes seemed to sparkle like bright-blue sapphires.

Ben led him back over to the picnic table he had previously been sitting on and they both sat down on the tabletop and turned to face one another.

“Y-you came?” Callum managed to get out.

Ben didn’t say anything but nodded in reply.

Callum took a deep breath. “Ben I’m so sorry about earlier. I treated you badly, when I know you were just trying to help. I wasn’t in the right headspace. Stu messaged me to tell me that our dad is coming to visit. We don’t get on. We never have. He used to hit me and Stuart. I-I can’t even begin to tell you what it was like living with him for those 15 years of my life. Th-those were some of the darkest t-times of-of my l-life.”

By the end of his speech Callum burst into tears. It was like all the pain and anger he had harboured towards his father over those 15 years suddenly came flooding out. He had just poured his heart and soul out to Ben, and had told him things that he had never felt comfortable even telling Whitney.

There were so many dark things to Callum’s past that he had hardly ever told anyone. The only other person who knew that much about him was Stuart. He had just never been able to bring himself to open up to Whitney in that way.

Ben reached out and grabbed Callum’s face in both of his hands and proceeded to wipe away the tears that were falling with his thumbs. He rested his forehead against Callum’s, before moving to run the fingers on one of his hands through Callum’s hair, trying to soothe him.

Callum pulled his head away from Ben and they looked at one another for a while before they both closed the gap at the same time.

Their mouths crashed together, hands roaming everywhere. If there were boundaries, they had been thrown out of the window. It was just the two of them there and then at this moment in time and nothing else mattered. The kisses deepened until they were frantic open-mouthed kisses, hungry and desperate for the next taste.

The breaths of air released from both men emitted plumes of steam, that dissipated into the chill night air with each exhale. With each breath that was released, a primal grunt was emitted.

Callum moved to wrap a hand around the back of Ben’s neck and pulled his mouth closer to his. He couldn’t get enough of the man with the baby-blue eyes who made him feel safe. With every taste he craved more. Ben was like a drug to him. He was addicted.

Ben pulled Callum off the picnic table, their lips never leaving one another’s for more than a millisecond, he ran his tongue over Callum’s bottom lip and the action caused Callum to automatically respond by opening his mouth, giving Ben permission to explore his mouth with his tongue.

Callum bit down on Ben’s bottom lip which caused him to moan loudly, which in turn made Callum want him more. He reached out and grabbed Ben’s belt yanking on it to pull Ben’s hips closer to his and crashed his against them, the heat radiating from his crotch. Ben looked up at Callum and Callum could see how full of lust Ben’s eyes were for him.

He frantically undid Ben’s belt and felt Ben untuck his shirt from his trousers, slipping his hands up underneath. He shuddered at the coolness of his hands on his red-hot skin, before feeling Ben run a hand down his spine tracing every single vertebra, almost taking it in and familiarising himself with Callum’s anatomy.

The night’s silence was cut by the sound of a zipper being undone and Callum reaching into Ben’s trousers to palm him through the fabric of his boxers. He had gained a bit in confidence since that time in the office at the Car Lot and no longer needed Ben’s hands to guide him and reassure him.

Callum felt Ben undo his trousers and move his hands round to the back of him and grab his ass. Although it was dark, Callum could read Ben like a book and knew that he was smirking at him right now.

Ben was getting turned on at Callum’s forcefulness, he was impressed with how Callum’s shyness had seemed to disappear around him unlike before. He liked the way he was taking charge.

He felt Callum tugging at his hips and realised that he was wanting him to turn around, he obliged and stood facing the picnic table. Before he knew it, Callum had him bent over the picnic table and had entered him from behind. “Fuck!” Ben groaned loudly.

“Shit. Did I hurt you? Ben I’m…” He was cut off midsentence by Ben grabbing his hands and moving one to start stroking his already hard cock and bringing the other up to his mouth and inserting three fingers into his mouth.

Callum started thrusting hard and fast into Ben, but then felt one of Ben’s hands on his thigh telling him to slow down. He slowed his pace and started to thrust slower and more gently, building a steady pace. Although he had no real idea what he was doing he knew he must have been doing something right from the moans and groans being emitted by Ben.

He couldn’t believe how differently this felt to the way it did when he and Whitney made love. He was clumsy. Embarrassed and awkward. With Ben it felt so natural and organic. He wanted this and he wanted to take charge. It had awoken a fire within him that he had never experienced before.

He was taken from his thoughts by Ben turning his head to look over his shoulder at Callum and tell him in a quiet but firm voice, ‘I’m gonna cum.”

These were the words Callum needed to hear and he quickened his pace once again, thrusting, harder, deeper, stronger.

“Shit, are you sure you haven’t done this before?” Ben groaned, asking Callum.

“Yes.” Callum lent forward over Ben’s shoulder to whisper in his ear.

“Well you’re fucking good at it.”

Callum blushed, luckily Ben couldn’t see.

He stroked Ben quicker with his fist as he quickened his pace from behind. “Yes…yes…just like that. Faster! Faster!” Ben groaned with Callum’s movements. He moved to place one of his hands, on Callum’s that was stroking his cock, and helped him with the movements.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum.” Ben told Callum.

Callum felt Ben shudder and then the warm liquid spilled out from his cock and soaked his hand. He lent forward and lowered his lips to Ben’s neck and softly kissed up it until he reached his ear and whispered “I’m going to cum too,” into it.

He proceeded to bury his head into the crook of Ben’s neck and bit it, trying to muffle and stifle a cry as he came in Ben.

After a few minutes he pulled out and cleaned himself up. He looked and saw that Ben had pulled his boxers up but that his trousers were still around his ankles. He was braced over the picnic table trying to catch his breath.

“A…little…help.” He panted and laughed, gesturing for Callum to help him up with his trousers.

Callum walked up behind him and placed his hands, on Ben’s hips and softly kissed the back of his neck before moving his hands down slowly to rest on Ben’s ass and cup it in both of his hands. He squeezed firmly. “Peachy.” He told Ben and Ben laughed. Callum stooped to pick Ben’s trousers up and helped him pull them up, gently brushing his hands up Ben’s legs as he did.

Ben turned around to face Callum, doing up his trousers. “By the way.” He told Callum softly with a serious look on his face. “That guy from the bar.”

Callum suddenly felt a lump forming in his throat. Why was Ben telling him this right now? Right now; after they had just shared the most intimate moment a person could have, together.

“I didn’t. I couldn’t.” Ben finished his sentence and reached out to cup the side of Callum’s face in one hand, resting the other on his chest. He lent in and gave Callum the softest of kisses on his lips, then pulled back, looking at Callum.


	14. Passing Like Ships in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally getting to the good stuff!  
Enjoy!

Callum had been keeping his distance from Ben for a bit, but Ben had seemed a little pre-occupied recently. He’d seemed a lot more focused on asserting his reputation with Phil and taking back what was rightfully his. However, he had seen him in passing about the market and a few looks had been shared between the two of them.

Since that night in the park with Ben, Callum was even more confused about himself and with the overbearing thought of his dad arriving in The Square to visit, he knew this had to stop. Once and for all. ‘Liking men ain’t right.’

His father’s words would often encroach his own thoughts late in the evening on those nights he just couldn’t sleep. But did he like men? He liked Ben, but did he like him in that way? How did someone know? And anyway, if he had any morals left, he couldn’t afford to let Whitney know what had happened.

He and Jay were sharing a post-work beer together in The Vic. It had been two weeks now since Callum had started his trial at Coker and Mitchell and as morbid as what the job entailed, he found that it brought about some calm and solace to his life. He often found himself escaping there when he needed to clear his head of the thoughts that constantly worried him and buzzed around his head like a queen wasp in a nest.

It had also given him a new sense of appreciation for life, and made him realise how fragile life could be. Especially when he had had to plan the funeral of a little girl about the same age as Lexi. The little girl had lain there, looking so peaceful, as though in a deep never-ending slumber and it had caused him to become more protective over Lexi, of which Lola had been grateful.

Ben had been so busy as of late he hadn’t been around as much and it hadn’t gone unnoticed to Lexi. Therefore, Callum and Whitney had taken her for little trips out on the odd weekend, and it had given Lola some much needed respite. Lexi was very much Ben’s daughter in personality, that was for sure. Callum could see it in her mannerisms and some of the quips she came out with. Sometimes, Lexi had had himself and Whitney in stitches with her stubbornness and the faces she pulled when she didn’t get her own way.

The ever-increasing amount of time that he and Whitney had spent with her only seemed to fuel the incentive that Whitney had about wanting children and it was starting make Callum panic a little. Having children was something he had thought about and wasn’t averse to, but he had hoped to be a little more settled before he started that chapter of his life.

He had felt first-hand and bore the brunt of what it was like to have two parents completely unsettled with their own lives throughout his and Stuarts childhood. The constant arguments and continuous battles between his mum and dad had been the main catalyst to the anxiety that had followed him around for the years that followed, into his adult life.

He had tried to explain this to Whitney, that he wasn’t saying no entirely, but that he had just wanted to wait a little. Until maybe they were at least married, but she had taken the wrong end of the stick of what he had said, thinking he was saying he never wanted them.

It had caused Callum, to get tongue-tied and flustered, then whatever he had said after that, came out wrongly. He had dug himself a deeper and deeper hole. He wanted the ground to open him up and swallow him hole. That night, for arguments sake he had slept on the couch in the living-room.

“So, Cal. I had a chat with Les today and reported back to him about ya over these past two weeks and both him and me fink you’ll fit right in. I was particularly impressed wiv how ya handled Mr and Mrs James last week. Burying a youngster ain’t the easiest, but ya did a good job Halfway, you should be proud of yaself.” Jay told him. “So, what do ya say?” Jay looked at Callum who was sat across from him. 

“Yeah. I’d love to take the job Jay. I like working wiv people and if I can work wiv them in a positive way, that makes me feel good. I want to provide for me and Whit so we can move on wiv our lives an’ that.”

“Well, welcome to Coker and Mitchell. Starting first thing on Monday I’ll start training you up proper.” He held out a hand to Callum and Callum shook it. “Oh, before I forget.” Jay reached into his trouser pocket and produced a set of keys. He handed them to Callum. “Keys to the flat above the parlour I mentioned to ya about.” He smiled at Callum.

Whitney came in the front door and saw Callum sat with Jay in deep discussion and made her way over to them.

“Budge up babe.” She told Callum and came and sat next him on the bench and gave him a kiss.

“You gonna tell her the good new then? Or am I gonna have to do it for ya?” Jay questioned Callum.

“Oh yeah. Yeah, right” Callum replied and then turned to Whitney. “Jay gave me the job at the parlour, starting Monday. Looks like we’ve got our own flat as well.” Callum smiled at Whitney and showed her the keys to the flat that Jay had just given him.

“Oh babe! I’m so proud of you! I knew you’d get the job!” She reached out and grabbed his face in both her hands and gave him a big kiss. “Thank you, Jay. You have no idea how much this means to the both of us.” She reached across and gave him a huge hug. Jay flushed red, embarrassed.

The door to The Vic opened and Ben waltzed in. He glanced to the corner of the room and saw Whitney giving Jay a huge hug. He frowned, then managed to catch Callum’s eye.

Ben moved to position himself at the bar so that he was located nearest to Whitney, Jay and Callum and placed an order for a beer.

“So, what’s the reason for all this playing ‘happy families’ about?” He questioned, turning from the bar to look at them, whilst leaning on one elbow and raising an eyebrow.

“Jay gave Callum a permanent job at the parlour. And that means we can move out from above The Vic to the flat above the parlour. We’ve finally got our own place!” she told him excited. Then stopped herself, when she realised, she had mentioned the flat that Paul had lived in.

“Aw. Well ain’t that nice.” Ben mocked, tilting his head to the side and staring intently at Whitney.

She scowled back at him.

Ben suddenly stalked out of the pub, just as Mick was about to place his pint down for him on the bar mat.

He stood there with the pint in his hand and looked after Ben and then at the group sat there. “Er…somefing I said?”

“Nah mate, you’re alright.” Jay told him.

“I’m not having him talking to you like that Whit.” Callum suddenly told her.

“It’s fine Callum.”

“No, it’s not. I’m going to have a word with him.”

“No. Just leave it.” She placed a hand on Callum’s forearm that was resting on the table.

Callum pushed his stool back and made to get up.

“Callum. Please.” Whitney looked up at him and begged.

Callum didn’t listen, he wasn’t having Ben talk to Whitney like that, it was too much. He stormed across the pub and stalked across The Square after Ben. He reached out and grabbed Ben’s arm, pulling him down the alleyway next to The Minute Mart, before grabbing the front of his jacket and slamming him against the wall.

“If I knew you were wanting a quickie now. I’d have come more prepared. Or maybe that just isn’t your thing” Ben smugly spat at Callum.

Callum narrowed his eyes at Ben.

“You don’t talk to Whitney like that. Do ya hear me?” Callum threatened.

“I’m sorry. You’re going to have to speak up. I’m a bit deaf.” Ben gestured toward the ear that he had his hearing aid in.

Callum made to stalk off, but then caught a second wind and stormed back to Ben and grabbed the front of his jacket again with one hand, balling it up to get a firmer grip. “You know what? Fuck you.” He jabbed a finger in Ben’s face. “Fuck you!”

“Callum, Callum, Callum…I think you might be forgetting one small thing.” Ben raised his eyebrows at Callum and tsk-tsked .

“That’s not who I am Ben! I love Whitney.” He growled.

“Have a funny way of showing it, from the way you we’re going at it with me in the park the other night.” Callum glared at him, “What? Just telling it like it is.” Ben shrugged, putting his hands up in protest.

“This. Whatever this is.” Callum gestured. “And her, are two completely different things.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“This, whatever’s happened before.” Callum gritted his teeth and glared at Ben “It’s over!” He slammed his fist into the wall next to Ben’s head and stormed off.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be here waiting as a shoulder to cry on, for the next time you and Whitney had a little ‘tiff’.” Ben shouted down the alleyway after him.

Later that evening Whitney was lying on the sofa with her head on Callum’s lap, watching tv. Callum was idly running his fingers through her hair, not really watching, thinking about things and replaying what happened earlier on with Ben over and over in his head.

“Callum. You haven’t heard a word that I’ve just said in the last 10 minutes, have you?” She raised her head and pulled herself to sit up and look at him. “Are you ok?” She questioned him.

“Yeah-yeah. Just had a busy day is all. Wait there a second.” He told her, before getting up from the sofa, he felt Whitney’s eyes follow him as he walked into their bedroom.

“Cal? What are you doing?” She questioned.

A few minutes later Callum returned carrying something wrapped in paper and set it down on the coffee table in front of them.

She looked at him with a puzzled look on her face.

“Open it.” He told her smiling.

“For me?”

“Yes, silly. Just open it.” He told her.

Whitney grinned and pulled the wrapped object closer to herself and began to unwrap it. He hands flew to her mouth in surprise once she realised what it was.

“Callum! You’re too sweet to me! I can’t believe you did this.” She pulled off the last of the paper and looked at the sewing machine that was a sat before her.

“Well…I was going to give it to ya whether I got the job or not. But seeing as I got it, well that’s just an added bonus innit. I know how much you want to do this.”

Whitney was nearly crying and lent in and gave Callum the biggest hug she had ever given him. He gently pushed her away.

“That’s not all.”

“What? You got me something else. This is too much.”

Callum reached behind himself and pulled out a scarf.

“You bought me a scarf?”

“No!” He laughed. “Here, put this on, let me help ya.”

She turned so that her back faced him and he tied the scarf around her face.

“That ok for ya? Not too tight?” He asked.

“No, it’s fine, what are you doing?”

“Come with me.”

“Where are we going? You’ll have to guide me, coz I can’t see a thing.”

“I will! Trust me.” He took a hold of one of her hands and slowly guided her to the living room door and out onto the landing.

“Right. Put one had here.” He placed it on the banister. “Hold on tightly”

“I better not break my bloody neck Callum!”

“Relax. I’m not going to let you break your neck, you mean too much to me to let that happen.”

“Well, at least that’s reassuring.” She replied sarcastically, and chuckled.

He gently and carefully guided her down the stairs and to the back door of The Vic, to outside.

“Ok, you can take it off now.”

“What have you got me? I’m scared, I-I…”

He slowly removed the scarf that he had tied around her face and Whitney saw the van that he had bought from Ben parked in front of her. She turned and looked at Callum, who produced the keys and held them out to her.

“OH MY GOD YOU DIDN’T!” She squealed and grabbed the keys from him. She launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck and legs around his waist. “You are the sweetest guy I have ever known! I love you so much Callum Highway.” She kissed him.

“I love you too Whitney Dean.” He looked at her. Then released her, setting her down so that she could go and look at the van properly.


	15. Fuck the Police

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I was listening to N.W.A when I wrote this?? 😂

Callum and Whitney had been in their new flat for about a week now and had got to the stage where they felt that they could finally host a housewarming party.

“Babe, shall I create a closed FB group for everyone we want to invite?” Whitney asked Callum whilst he was in the kitchen cooking dinner for the both of them; perks of being a chef in the army, although they did tend to take it in turns to cook.

“What was that Whit?” Callum questioned, walking from the kitchen into the lounge with a tea towel slung over his shoulder; wooden spoon in hand. “Sorry. Wall in the way. I couldn’t hear you fully.”

“I said, should I create a closed FB group for the friends we want to invite to our housewarming?” She looked up and across at him, then a smile gradually formed on her face, before she burst out laughing.

“What?... Whit what?” Callum asked suddenly get paranoid about himself. He chewed his lip nervously.

Whitney didn’t reply, but stood up and walked over to him. She took a finger and wiped some sauce off his nose. “You had some sauce on your nose.” She grinned, then licked it off her finger.

“Oh yeah?” He took the spoon he was holding and dipped his finger into the sauce that was on it and wiped it on her cheek.

“Callum!” She exclaimed laughing, and made to snatch the spoon out of his hand, but he moved it out of her reach. She stood on tiptoe, then started trying to jump to reach it, but it made no impact on his 6ft frame.

Whitney moved to pin Callum against the wall and moved to cup his face in her hands, bringing it closers to hers and placing her lips gently on his. Callum’s arm that was holding the spoon gradually lowered and Whitney ceased the chance to grab it from him.

She proceeded to chase him around the living room, trying to smear some more sauce on his face, until they were pulled from their game by the shrill sound of the smoke alarm cutting through the atmosphere.

“Shit!” Callum exclaimed when he released what was going on and rushed off back to the kitchen. Whitney followed suit and found him flapping the tea towel he had had draped over his shoulder, around the smoke alarm trying to disperse the smoke that was emanating from the burnt meal on the cooker. “Whit, quick, open the window!” He told her.

She opened the window before crossing over to the cooker, to see what the damage was to dinner.

“Erm…fancy a takeaway tonight Cal?” She laughed, showing him the remnants of the meal that were chargrilled and stuck to the bottom of the saucepan.

“Yeah…looks like that’s a goner.” He told her, taking it from her and running some water into the pan. “I guess that’s what happens when you have such a gorgeous girlfriend and get so easily distracted.” He told her and grinned.

Whitney laughed and slapped him on the arm. “So, what do ya fancy? Indian, Chinese… Pizza?”

“Think I’ll stick to pizza. Don’t wanna get food poisoning on top of tonight’s dinner being burnt to a crisp.”

“Sure. I’ll phone up and order now. Hey, Cal, would you come wiv me to the warehouse tomorrow? I need to get some more supplies for some jackets I’m customising. Fought we could take the van out an’ that.”

“Sure. It’s great seeing you being able to make your dreams come true.”

“Well I couldn’t have done it without the van ya got me.” She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him.

A couple of hours later, Whitney and Callum were sat together watching Jurassic Park, (not Whitney’s first choice she had to admit), together eating pizza. Whitney was preparing a FB group for close friends and people from The Square to come around and welcome them to their new home.

“What about Jean? Would she get hurt if we didn’t invite her? It’s not really her thing is it?” Whitney asked Callum.

“I dunno, but if you invite her you know we’re gonna be lumbered with Sausage Surprise being stuck in the freezer for months.”

“That’s dish is going to haunt me. When I was livin’ at The Slaters, everyone would dread having to eat it, but no one had the heart to tell poor Jean how disgustin’ it was.” Whitney laughed.

“Do ya mind if I invite Stu… I-I know he’s not everyone’s favourite at the moment…but he’s ma brother an’ that.” Callum turned his head to look at Whitney.

She chewed her lower lip, thinking. “I guess…but only for a couple of hours an’ any sign of trouble an’ he’s out!”

Callum blinked slowly and nodded.

“What about Kush an’ Kat?” He questioned Whitney.

Whitney picked up a slice of pizza and bit off a mouthful. “Well if Stuart’s coming, then I’ll have to invite them, although I wouldn’t wanna leave Kat and Stuart alone in a room together.”

Callum laughed nervously. “Yeah.”

“Right. OK. So that’s Jay, Lola, Ben, Bil-“

“I don’t want Ben there.” Callum cut in quickly. A little too quickly.

Whitney gave him a questioning look. “If Jay’s coming you know Ben will. They’re joined at the hip them two.”

“I-I don’t want Ben coming. ‘im and Stuart in the same room is askin’ for trouble. I don’t want it. This is supposed to be a celebration for us. For the start of a new life together. I don’t need them two going at one another all evenin’.”

“Ok…so no Ben?”

“No!” Callum said firmly.

“Alright, touchy. Anyone would think you two fancied one another.” Whitney laughed and took a sip of her wine.

Callum picked up his pint to try and hide his expression, but took a sip and started choking on it. Whitney had to slap him on the back.

“Alright! Calm down. I was only joking!” She teased him.

“Yeah well it ain’t funny alright. You know I love you Whit.”

“Callum, are you sure you know where we’re goin’?” Whitney asked him, looking out the window at the passing scenery.

“Yeah…M1 and then take the slip road off onto the A41.” Callum replied, quickly glancing at her from behind the steering wheel.

They were on their way to a warehouse in Watford that Kat had told her about, in order to get some supplies for Whitney.

“Why have we been past this McDonald’s three times then?” She pointed out the window to a McDonald’s they were just about to pass.

“We ain’t. Are you sure you’ve been reading your phone correct?”

“Yes, I have thank you very much. Look. It’s saying to take the next junction, not this one.” She pointed.

“That’s what I did the first time.” Callum sighed frustrated.

“No, it ain’t! I just saw you take this one!” Whitney told him adamantly. “What on earth do they teach you about map reading in the army? Or did you manage to sleep through those exercises?”

Callum switched on the wipers; it had just started to rain.

“I was in the kitchen wasn’t I? Didn’t really go out and get to practice my map-reading!” He protested. “Maybe if you’d let me put on the music I wanted to listen to I’d be able to concentrate. What is this rubbish anyway?” He switched on his lights.

“Hozier.” She replied.

“Who-whatzier?”

“Hozier. Look.” She showed him a photo.

“I thought that was Sam Smith.”

“WHAT?!” Whitney exclaimed loudly, and turned to look at him. She burst out laughing.

Callum shrugged.

“Oh Callum. That has to be the best thing I’ve heard all day. They’re not even from the same country!”

She looked up from crying with laughter on Callum’s shoulder and saw a police car behind them in the rear-view mirror.

“What you lookin’ at?” Callum questioned her, before moving to peer into the rear-view mirror to see for himself.

“The Old Bill? Is that what you were lookin’ at?”

“Yeah…”

The police car suddenly switched on its siren and blue flashing lights started up.

“Is that for me?” Callum asked Whitney panicking.

“Yes! Well there’s no one else around. You have insurance don’t ya? A valid licence?”

“Yes!!” Callum shouted, before indicating to pull over onto the hard shoulder.

“Where did get this van from?” Whitney questioned, suddenly getting weary. “Lemme guess…”

“Ben.” Callum replied, chewing his bottom lip nervously.

Whitney slumped to rest her forehead on the dashboard and placed it in her hands cradling it, then groaned. “Wait till I get my hands on hi-.”

“No Whit, leave it. I’ll sort it when we get back.” Callum ground his teeth and watched as two policemen got out of the police car and made their way over to the van.

Callum switched off the engine and sat with his hands in his lap. One of the policemen came around to the driver’s side, so Callum put the window down a bit in order to be able to speak to him.

“Can I help?” Callum asked the officer.

“Yes. We have reason to believe that this vehicle is stolen. It has come back on our system flagged, as being stolen. Could I see your driving licence and the paperwork for the vehicle please?”

“Er-er yeah. Yeah sure. Do you want me to step out?”

“If you could please Sir.”

“Do ya want me to get out an all?” Whitney questioned the other officer.

“If you could please. Do you have any ID on you madam? Who is this vehicle registered to?”

“Well…my boyfriend bought it for me the other day, for my work. I think he put himself as the lead driver. I’m probably on there too. If you want to know who’s behind the stealing of this van. It’s a guy called Ben Mitchell. My boyfriend is innocent in all of this.” Whitney explained to the officer, reaching around in her handbag for her purse, to show her driving licence.

“Well that’s for us to touch upon, but thank you for the information.” He looked at her licence and radioed the number through to the office.

“ ‘im an that whole Mitchell lot, they’re into dirty dealings in one way or another. If ya need a number or an address for ‘im I ‘ave one.”

“Thank you, madam. Your licence is fine.” He handed it back to Whitney and she put it away. “I don’t think that will be necessary. You can get back into the vehicle now. Shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“Ok, Sir. Your licence has come back clean and your insurance is valid. Is this all the paperwork you have for the vehicle?” The policemen questioned Callum.

“Y-yeah. Here’s a copy of the paperwork I signed. And this is what already came with the van.”

“Ok. Thank you. I need to go and speak to some of my colleagues back at the office and run these through the system. If you could please take a seat in the vehicle, I’ll be with you shortly.”

“Ok.” Callum turned and got back in the van.

“So? Is it stolen?” Whitney questioned Callum.

“I-I dunno, they’re running the paperwork through the system.”

“Callum, you’re too nice for ya own good you are. Ben Mitchell, never expects anyone to take anything from ‘im without giving something back in return.”

“Yeah well… it’s done now isn’t it. Nothin’ I can do now. “

“When we get back to The Square, I’m coming with ya and I’m gonna give ‘im a piece of my mind. Don’t you think I’m scared of ‘im coz I ain’t. He’s just a pathetic little boy with ‘daddy issues’.


	16. When Darkness Falls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trust Stuart to stick his nose in eh? 🙄

“Seriously, I am going to murder that man.” Whitney moaned, as she climbed out of the taxi they had had to pay for, to get them back to Walford after the van had been taken from them and impounded, pending further investigation.

“Whit, just leave it. I told you I’ll handle things.” Callum told her, getting out and slamming the taxi door behind himself. He thanked the driver.

“You better make sure Ben pays ya back that £50 we just had to spend to get us back here. That’s a lot of money you know!”

“I will. Look. Go back to the flat an' try an' calm down. I’m gonna see if I can find ‘im.” He told her firmly, getting frustrated. “Go on!” He gestured to her.

She scowled at him, before to go, then turned back around again and opened her mouth to say something.

“GO!” Callum shouted at her, before watching her walk off angrily.

Callum sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “What a mess.” He muttered to himself, before reaching into his trouser pocket and fishing out his phone. He scrolled to find Ben’s number and dialled it.

Ben picked up after a couple of rings. “Now’s not a good time Callum.” He told him, sounding annoyed.

“Now is a very good time Ben.” Callum told him sternly. “You, Me, The Arches. 5 minutes.”

“Playing the aggressor now Callum? Didn’t think you had it in ya!”

Callum almost visualised Ben standing there smirking and it really ground on him. “I’m serious Ben.”

“So am I. You’re making me all hot…and sweaty, under the collar.” He seductively drew out the words ‘hot’ and ‘sweaty’, teasing Callum.

“L-look. Just meet me at The Arches yeah?” Callum snapped.

“Already here, ready and waiting for ya.”

Callum bit his lip in annoyance and hung up. He shoved his phone back into his trouser pocket. Clenching his hands into fists he stormed over to The Arches.

Callum flung the metal door to The Arches open, and it ricocheted off the wall outside with a loud metallic, bang.

Ben was sat at the desk, feet up, mug off coffee in hand. He looked up when he heard the commotion.

“You know Callum, it’s usually good manners to knock before you enter.” He smirked at him and set the mug down.

Callum stormed over to him with a face like thunder and grabbed the front of Ben’s jacket and pushed him, sending the wheelie chair he was sat in; crashing up against the wall.

“Look. I’m into foreplay, but this is exhausting.” Ben breathed and looked up at Callum biting his bottom lip.

Callum swallowed slowly looking at Ben. “Why can’t ya just be happy for me Ben? Why can’t ya just leave me alone? I’m happy with Whit. I love her Ben.” He still had Ben’s shirt balled up in his fists, shaking him. Tears were starting to well up in Callum’s eyes and they eventually pooled over and trickled down his face.

“I had no idea it was stolen mate. I just get the cars an’ sell them. No questions asked. But I have The Old Bill sniffin’ around me an’ all now thanks to you Callum.” Ben tilted his head to the side and looked up at Callum.

“Yeah well. Ya knew I bought that van for Whit. Ya knew we were trying to build a new life for ourselves, but ya just couldn’t help yerself could ya?”

“See, I don’t think that’s entirely true Callum, an’ you know it. Now if ya want to keep this-this ‘thing’; whatever ya want to call it.” He gestured with a finger making a circular motion. “between jus’ the two of us…I’m gonna need you to do sumthin’ for me. We wouldn’t want Whitney finding out about yer ‘dirty.little.secret’ now, would we?” He reached out and ran a hand down Callum’s shirt, trying to smooth out the wrinkles, then grinned up at him.

“W-what?” Callum sniffed, using his cuff to wipe away the tears from his cheeks.

“So, I want ya to lie and I want ya to give the coppers a description of guys who ripped me off yeah?” Ben managed to push himself up from the wheelie chair he had been sat on, so he was inches from Callum.

Callum stood there and gritted his teeth.

Ben grinned back at him before saying “So what’s it gonna be Callum? You gonna help me out wiv a job, or…” He picked his phone up from the desk and made to scroll to find Whitney’s number.

“Ben. Don’t.” Callum told him sternly, reaching out and grabbing Ben’s wrist to prevent him from dialling her number. He balled his other hand up into a fist and drew it back ready to punch Ben, but his hand wavered, before he dropped it altogether. He took a deep breath and said, “Alright. I’ll do it.”

“Good. Good. That’s what I was hoping to hear.” Ben reached out and patted the side of Callum’s face. “Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a man with a Volvo who needs seeing to.”

Callum was frozen to the spot. Void of any emotion looking down at the man with the baby blue eyes who stood before him.

“Well.” Ben gestured to Callum with a raised eyebrow. “Off ya trot then.” He made a walking gesture with two fingers.

There was complete silence in the garage. The only sound was that of a wren singing its heart out in a bush somewhere outside.

Callum quickly advanced towards Ben and grabbed his face between both of his hands, and slammed Ben up against the wall behind the desk, his lips crashing against Ben’s; the chair Ben had been sat in moments before tipped over and fell to the floor with a clatter.

Ben let out a gasp as Callum crashed his lips to his and tilted his head back against the wall, his eyes rolling upwards in ecstasy, the coolness of the wall on the back of his neck sending shudders down his body. He reached out and moved a hand either side of Callum’s hips and brought them closer to him, the warmth that had started in his crotch, spreading like a wildfire throughout the entirety of his body. He felt so alive. No one had ever made him feel the same way Callum did, since Paul died. He sighed deeply.

Callum dipped his head to kiss up Ben’s neck and round to his jawline, planting small butterfly kisses as he went. He wanted to cover every part of Ben’s skin, to mark it, to claim it as his. He made his way back to Ben’s lips.

Ben moved his hands up Callum’s body, to eventually rest them on Callum’s hands that gently held his face either side. He softly planted a kiss of his own on Callum’s lips, before pulling away and tilting his forehead to rest it against Callum’s.

The sound of both men’s laboured breath filled the metallic shell of the garage and echoed to fill their ears.

Ben moved his eyes to look up at Callum, who he found was already looking down at him, flushed.

“You can lie to everyone that you want, but you can’t lie to yourself – it’ll rip you apart Callum.” Ben whispered to him, and stroked Callum’s hands that were still holding his face, with his thumbs.

They were suddenly pulled from their moment together, by the sound of someone whistling and Keanu appeared.

“Hey Callum.” He said acknowledging him.

Callum didn’t reply, but gave him a smile.

“Er...Ben, just spoke to Phil. There’s a new shipment coming in.” He gestured over his shoulder with a thumb. “You ok?” Keanu questioned, looking from Ben to Callum and back to Ben again.

“Had a bit of a funny day is all.” Ben told Keanu and smirked. He could see Callum starting to blush out of the corner of his eye. “Right.” Ben clapped his hands together. “Best not stand around like a load of lemons then. Things to do, people to see.”

Callum’s phone started ringing and he fished it out looking at the screen.

_1 Incoming call-Whitney_

Callum narrowed his eyes in despair at the screen, before using his thumb to slide to answer the call. “Whit?” He answered.

“Remember what I told you yeah Cal?” Ben shouted out after him as he turned on his heel and started to walk away from The Arches.

Callum raised a hand to acknowledge Ben as he left. He could feel those baby blue eyes of Ben’s boring into his back and knew that if he turned around, he wouldn’t leave.

“Yes, I have Whit…no…don’t worry it’s all sorted…yes…yes I will…I’ll be back in a bit ok. Yeah…yeah…love you too.” Callum sighed and gripped his phone tightly in his fist. Sometimes Whitney could be a little too overbearing and it got to him. It made him feel trapped, lost, insecure.

He was jolted from his thoughts by someone saying his name, and the feeling of a hand on his shoulder. He spun round a little too quickly and nearly caught the person on the chin. It was Stuart.

“Cal…I just wanted to say um…thanks for inviting me to yer housewarming tomorrow. I-I know I haven’t been the best person to be around as of late, but ya know I’m always here for ya.”

“It’s fine Stu. Really. S-so when exactly is dad comin’?” He struggled to get out.

“Fink it’s gonna be next weekend sometime. But ya know ‘im. Probably wont even show.” Stuart shrugged. “You know what he’s like. Probably go for a quick pint beforehand, an end up wasting the rest of the day in the pub.”

“Hopefully.”

“Maybe he’s changed Cal. Give ‘im a chance.”

Callum didn’t reply but his jaw tightened. Finally, he managed to get out, ‘doubt it.’

“Well you know I got yer back. Us Highways ‘ave to stick together.” He reached out and squeezed Callum’s shoulder.

Callum sighed.

“Is everythin’ ok wiv you and Whit. I-I thought I heard ya shouting earlier? It’s not Ben is it? What’s he done to ya? Is he causin’ ya trouble? Want me to go ’ave a word wiv ‘im?”

Callum could see the darkness that came over Stuarts eyes, when he started to get angry. It was a trait that he got from their father.

“No. s’all right. I just delt wiv things.”

“Are you sure? What happened? Is he botherin’ ya again? Harrassin’ ya?”

“Stu it’s fine, really. He sold me a dodgy van. The one I bought for Whit. We got pulled over goin’ to Watford earlier.”

“I told you Cal. Stay away from ‘im, he’s nothing but trouble ya hear?”

“Well that’s why I told Whit he’s not invited to the house warmin’. That, and pretty much everyone there would want to give ‘im a piece of their mind. I don’t want any trouble. The evenin’ is supposed to be about me and Whit. I want it to be fun and light-hearted. Not everyone at one another’s throats ‘an that.”

“I’m please for ya bro. Big things are happening for ya both. Are there possible wedding bells on the horizon? Eh? Eh?” He nudged Callum.

Callum didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t got that far with things. He just took each day as it came. “Er-er..I dunno. Maybe?” He shrugged.

“She’s a good one that one. Don’t let Ben get in yer ear. Don’t let ‘im get to ya.”

“I won’t Stu. Catch ya later yeah?” Callum told him.

“Yeah.” Stuart replied. He watched Callum walk off towards The Vic, and then the darkness started to descend around him again. He was going to have ‘a word’ with Ben.


	17. The Calm before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a long one this! Hope it's not too waffly for you guys. 😊

Stuart stormed off across The Square and made his way to The Arches. He hadn’t told Callum, but he had followed him after he had witnessed him arguing with Whitney earlier on.

He had nipped out to get a pint of milk and some more cigarettes for Dot, when he saw the taxi pull up outside of Coker’s and Whitney get out. He hadn’t heard everything that had been said between the two of them, but he had caught odd words as they floated across The Square to where he stood on the pavement just outside The Minute Mart.

From that, he had gathered enough information to know that the conversation involved a van that looked as though it had been stolen and that Callum had been pulled over.

Callum had told Stuart that he had purchased a van for Whitney about a month back. Although he’d never disclosed where from, or who from, Stuart had put two and two together and figured that it must have been purchased from the Car Lot and that Ben was involved in one way or another.

He had never liked Ben. Right from the first time he had bumped into him accidently whilst walking across the market, his personality had grated on him. Ben’s cockiness irked him and that self-assure smirk that graced his face. Finally, the way Ben walked with that Mitchell swagger, like he owned The Square. They were all similar traits to his father.

The way Ben always seemed to be sniffing around his brother, always in the same room, same place, at the same time as Callum, bothered him too. Of course, Callum was oblivious to it. He was always too nice for his own good. At least that was one seemingly positive quirk that set him apart from the rest of their family.

Everyone else had either been in or out of jail, was an alcoholic or had a history of substance abuse, he himself included. But at long last that was all behind him, and had been for about five years. Five years now he had been clean of a pretty serious cocaine addiction.

  


Stuart flung the door to The Arches open and it hit the wall behind with a loud metallic bang.

“Callum, what did I tell ya about knockin’? Comin’ back for more ‘ave y-.” Ben turned around and was met with an iron fist. He stumbled backwards, hitting the wall and slumping down, hand flying to his jaw. “Oh, the return of the body guard? They should make that into a sequel film.” He sneered up at Stuart. “Callum know you’re here, does he?”

Stuart glared down at him, eyes blazing, before reaching down to grab the front of Ben’s shirt and yanking him to his feet, to within inches of his face. “Leave. My. Brother. Alone, yeah?” Stuart spat at Ben; eyes locked on him.

“Now, now. Anyone would think you were jealous.” Ben smiled at him. “Well sorry to burst ya bubble, but big, bald, blokes don’t really do it for me.” He reached up and patted the side of Stuarts face patronizingly.

“Callum ain’t like one of you, he ain’t like you…lot.”

“You can say the word Stuart. Here, let me help. It’s gay. I’m gay. I like blokes. Now you try.” He gestured with his hand for Stuart to talk.

“No. No I’m not letting you get in my head like that. Stop trying to get into Callum’s. He’s wiv Whit an’ he loves her and she love ‘im an all.”

“I think Callum’s old enough to be able to tell me himself as to what he wants.”

“Well he ain’t here is he? So, I’m telling you for ‘im. Stay away from him.” Stuart said, thumping a finger into Ben’s chest.

“Big brova to the rescue is it?”

“Cal wouldn’t tell you what he wants, because he’s too nice of a person for ‘is own good sometimes. I know what people like you are like. They try to take advantage of those kinds of people, get in their ear an’ that, tellin’ them this an’ that.”

“Christ, he’s not some fragile thing that needs smotherin’ in cotton wool. He ain’t that little baby brother anymore.”

“He’s fragile to the likes of you!” Stuart shouted at Ben and raised a fist threatening to punch him again.

“And I’m gonna break him am I?” Ben questioned looking up at Stuart.

He saw Stuart swallow hard and eventually lowered his fist to him. Ben dabbed at his lip; which was beginning to trickle blood down onto his chin, with his hand.

“Wouldn’t worry about that.” Stuart nodded towards Ben’s cut lip. “It’s not like you gotta be somewhere an’ all seeing as you ain’t been invited to Cal and Whit’s housewarmin’ later. See, Callum don’t like ya like that Ben. He don’t want you there.” Stuart smirked.

He saw Ben’s lip twitch as he told him this, and knew that he’d hit a nerve with him. He knew that one of Ben’s weaknesses was feeling not wanted and that the ‘hard man act’ he put on was just a front to make up for it.

Ben didn’t say anything, but narrowed his eyes at Stuart.

Stuart laughed. “You can stop with the ‘big man’ act Ben, It’s OK, I won’t tell anyone about you crying.”

“I ain’t crying Stuart.” Ben replied, sounding bored with the whole situation now.

“You can go run along back to daddy now…oh wait. I forgot. He don’t want ya either.”

Ben’s jaw tightened and his fist clenched. Deep down inside, the fire was being stoked, but he knew that was the reaction that Stuart was looking for. No, he’d think of a much better way to get Stuart back and make him pay.

“Well…I best be off, gotta get myself lookin’ all nice and smart for later don’t I? I’ll let you know how it was yeah?” He smiled at Ben and turned heel, walking off with purpose.

Ben stood there glaring after Stuart, still dabbing at his cut lip. He licked his lip and then pressed his shirt cuff up against it to try and stop the bleeding.

Why had Callum not invited him and why hadn’t Jay and Lola said anything to him? It’s not like they knew what had happened between himself and Callum. Maybe they just assumed he had been invited as well and there was nothing to say?

Was the whole of The Square going to be there apart from him? Well that was just great. He suddenly drew his first back and punched the tool cabinet, leaving a massive dent in it and instantly regretting his decision. He nursed his hand and decided he needed to go have a drink and clear his mind.

He left The Arches and made his way across The Square to The Vic and stormed through the door to the bar. Linda was there behind the bar. “What can I get ya Ben?” she asked then sighed when she saw the state of him. “Oh Ben, what have ya gone and done ta yerself now eh?”

“S’nuthin’ I’m fine.” He shrugged it off. “Can I get my usual please?” He took a seat on one of the barstools and slumped himself across the bar top and sighed.

Linda set a bottle of pale ale down in front of him.

“Ta.” He replied and picked it up, taking a swig. He took out his phone and checked it, before shooting a text off to Jay.

_“Thanks for nothing Jay.”_

He almost instantaneously got a reply back.

_“Wot you on about?”_

Ben shot off another reply._ “Cal and Whit’s housewarmin’. I’m not invited.” _A minute later he got an incoming call.

_1 incoming call – Jay_

“Ben. Stop being so overdramatic. Christ!”

“You could have told me though. Instead I had to find out from Stuart that I weren’t invited. How long have ya known?”

“We only got told Friday, from the Group Chat.”

“What Group Chat?”

There was silence, then a load of scrabbling from the other end and Ben could hear Lola saying to Jay, ‘look, give me the phone I’ll talk to ‘im.” There was more scrabbling before Lola’s voice appeared on the other end.

“Ben, you don’t need ta ‘ave a go at Jay. It ain’t his fault. Why don’t ya use the time and spend it wiv Lexi, she’s been missing ya loads as of late? She keeps askin’ where her daddy is. She misses ya. Jay ‘n I won’t stay long we’ll ‘ave a few then come back” Lola took a deep breath. “Jay just told me, about today, and what it means ta ya…”

“Ya don’t know nuffin’ no one does. No one cares!” Ben shouted down the phone and hung up on her. He grabbed his bottle of beer and stormed out of The Vic.

“BEN!” Linda shouted out after him.

It was about 9pm and Callum and Whitney’s party was in full swing, the music was pumping and everyone was having a great time.

“Aww I’m pleased for you guys!” Lola shouted excitedly to Callum and Whitney over the music.

“I know. I’m so looking forward to our future.” Whitney hugged Callum’s arm and took a sip of her white wine from the glass that she was holding.

“Yeah it’s great to see you gu—.” Jay was suddenly cut off by a loud banging coming from downstairs. “Did ya just hear that?” Jay questioned the others.

“No. What ya on ab—" Callum was cut off when he suddenly heard a loud bang from downstairs.

Jay frowned. “I’m gonna go see what that’s about.”

“You don’t fink it’s one of the—.” Callum started.

“Callum. Don’t be stupid.” Jay rolled his eyes at him and passed his beer bottle over to Lola to hold.

“Jay, be careful yeah?” Lola told him.

“Cal go wiv ‘im will ya?” Whitney told him.

Callum looked puzzled at first, then worried. “Err-yeah sure.” He set his bottle of beer down on their coffee table and followed Jay out the room.

They got to the bottom of the stairs and the banging was becoming more and more frantic and loud. They were both worried that the door to the shop was going to be kicked down and that they were going to be broken into.

“Alright! ALRIGHT! Hang on!” Jay shouted as they both got to the bottom of the stairs and walked through the hallway and through to the parlour, crossing the room to the front door.

Jay fumbled with the lock and finally undid the door, finding a very intoxicated Ben on the other side of it, clutching a bottle of whiskey.

Ben nearly faceplanted onto the floor as the door opened, but just about managed to hold onto the doorframe and Callum and Jay rushed forward to catch him.

“Din’t fink yewd even open the door fa me.” He drunkenly slurred, looking at them both with bleary, red, bloodshot eyes. “Seein’ as I weren’t invited.”

“Ben. Why ya gotta do this to yaself eh?” Jay sighed and hoisted Ben over one of his shoulders, wrapping his arm around his neck.

Callum came around to the other side and did the same, but didn’t say a word.

“You-you…” Ben slurred and swayed off Jay’s shoulder whilst pointing at Callum, whiskey bottle in hand. “Your bruva is summit else.” He glared at him.

Callum started, then turned his head to look at Ben and met Ben’s bleary baby- blue eyes.

“Whaaa?” Callum questioned, then frowned.

“Yeah…ya heard me. Uncle Fester decided to come pay me a little visit.” He pointed to his split lip. “Ya really need ta learn how ta fight yer own battles.” He took another swig from the bottle of whiskey he had in his hand. “Want to kiss it better?” He smirked, staring intently at Callum.

Callum could feel his ears growing hot and diverted his attention to looking down at his feet as he had one of Ben’s arms draped over his shoulder. “How much have ya had of that Ben? I fink you’ve had enough.” He told him.

“Ohhh, pretending ya care now are ya? Oh, look it’s St Callum. Everyone’s local superhero, because of course he’s never done anything wrong in his life.” Ben’s eyes darkened as he glared at him. “But I know ya darkest secret do—.”

“I think you’ve had enough Ben. Let’s get ya upstairs hey?” Jay told him, cutting him off mid-sentence.

“No—no I-I’m fine.” Ben staggered between the two of them, swayed and nearly loosing his balance. “I’m. fine.” He exaggerated, gripping onto the table in the funeral parlour.

“Ben. You’re clearly not!” Jay told him sternly, starting to get a little frustrated now.

They heard footsteps rushing down the stairs and saw Lola there. “What’s...Oh.” She rolled her eyes at Callum and Jay when she saw what all the commotion was about.

“Can ya take that bottle off ‘im. He’s had way too much. And I don’t want ta be cleaning puke out of this carpet at 11pm at night.” Jay sighed.

She managed to wrestle the bottle of whiskey off of Ben.

“Hey! Wait! I’m not—I’m not done wiv tha’ yet!” Ben protested, watching Lola walk off with his bottle of whiskey

Between the two of them, Callum and Jay managed to bundle Ben upstairs.

“Look. Put ‘im in the spare room. I’ll make ‘im a coffee and get ‘im ta try and sober up yeah?” Callum looked at Jay as they got to the landing. They manoeuvred Ben to the spare room and he flopped down on the bed.

Jay shook his head. “There’s always one ain’t there?”

Callum didn’t reply, but stared down at Ben who drunkenly smiled up at him.


	18. Never Gonna Leave Your Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I really enjoyed writing it!
> 
> **I'm aware that some of the quotes from EastEnders that I have used aren't fully correct, I wanted to use the basis of them and add my own spin to them**

Callum made his way into his and Whitney’s bedroom, partly to get away from the noise and partly to process what the hell was going on, and sat down on their bed.

How did Ben have this knack of turning every situation possible into revolving around him? Callum lent forward and pinched the bridge of his nose, before massaging it to release some of the tension that resided there.

He took a deep breath and clasped his hands together, staring out the window at the dark void that lay beyond; thinking.

There was a quiet knock on the bedroom door.

Callum cleared his throat and then replied, ‘Yeah?’, turning his head to face the door.

The door opened and Whitney’s head appeared around the door. Callum looked up and gave her a small smile. “Can I come in? Jay said ya were in here.” She asked.

Callum nodded and shifted to move on their bed so that there was space for Whitney to sit down next to him.

“What’s goin’ on Cal?” She asked him, turning to face him and resting a hand on his thigh.

“Nothin’. I’m just fed up that despite us adamantly not inviting Ben, the whole party has somehow shifted to revolve around ‘im, yet again.” He told Whitney crossly.

“He does ‘ave a way, I’ll give it to ‘im.” Whitney sighed and stroked his thigh.

“I need to go make him a coffee and see if I can get him to sober up a little.” Callum told her.

“You’re too nice you are.” Whitney told him and moved a hand up to cup his chin and bring his face closer to hers. She firmly placed her lips on his and kissed him. Callum closed his eyes and tried to relax and enjoy the kiss for what it was, but he just couldn’t.

“I-I need to go make that coffee Whit.” He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand and pushed himself to stand up from the bed. “I’ll join ya back out there in a bit yeah?” He turned and smiled down at her, still sat there.

She didn’t reply, but smiled up at him and nodded.

Callum wasn’t sure how Ben took his coffee, but to be honest he didn’t care. He just wanted him to sober up and stop being selfish and making a show of himself. Then again, this was Ben that he was talking about and everything had to be a show or a drama when he was involved.

He picked up the mug and made his way across the landing, fighting his way through the throng of party-goers, trying to reach the door to the spare room.

“There he is!!” Kat screeched when she spotted Callum.

Callum groaned internally. He really wasn’t in the mood to deal with Kat, and you really did need to be ‘in the mood’ to deal with her.

“Where ‘ave ya been hidin’ all night eh?” She prodded him in the chest.

Someone bumped into Callum from behind and he tried as best he could, to prevent himself from slopping some of the coffee from the mug he was holding.

“Oh, er…hey Kat. Erm…just been about ya know.”

Kush suddenly appeared behind Kat and saw Callum looking flustered, and managed to pull her away from accosting Callum. “Come on Kat, leave the poor guy alone. Let’s get you another drink, shall we?” He looked back at Callum from cajoling Kat into the kitchen.

Callum mouthed, ‘Thank you.” To him and Kush gave a smile and a wink back.

Eventually, after managing to side step Big Mo and swerve around a rather enthusiastic Robbie, Callum managed to reach the door to the spare room, with a surprising amount of coffee still remaining in the mug he was holding that impressed even himself.

He knocked lightly on the door, but couldn’t hear Ben reply, so he turned the door handle and pushed the door open and went in. It was dark in the room; Ben had turned the bedside light off that he and Jay had switched on earlier. Callum turned and closed the door behind himself, fumbling around to find the light switch on the wall.

There was a strange noise that made him stop in his tracks. “Ben?” He called out quietly. There was no reply, but he heard a load of what sounded like bedsheets rustling, followed by a loud sniff. “Ben?” He hissed again.

Still no reply, but a small noise that sounded like a whimper caught his attention. Callum ran his hand blindly along the wall, still trying to find the light switch.

“For fucksake.” He muttered to himself, becoming frustrated.

Eventually, he found the switch and switched it on. Momentarily being blinded with the change from extreme darkness to extreme brightness. He shielded his eyes, before adjusting to the light that now embraced the room.

Ben was curled up in a foetal position on the bed with his back to him, half covered by the duvet. Callum crossed over to him and gently set the mug of coffee down on the side table next to the bed. As he lent down to place the mug on the table, he became aware of Ben’s shoulders jerking every now and then the small whimpering sound sounded again.

“Ben? Are-are ya OK?” Callum asked Ben again quietly. He could see that he was hugging one of the pillows tightly to his chest.

Ben didn’t move, but his shoulders shook again. “Go away Callum.” Came a muffled reply from Ben’s form. His face buried into the pillow he was hugging.

“But—.”

“I said. Go. Away.” The voice growled again.

Callum paused, then bent over Ben and reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. Ben tried to shake Callum’s hand off, but eventually gave up, and rolled over onto his side, still hugging the pillow and looked up at Callum.

He could instantly see that Ben had been crying. His cheeks were tearstained where the tears had rolled down them and there was a damp patch on the pillow where he had been burying his face. He put two and two together, with the strange noise he had heard earlier; before he had switched on the light. And realised he had been hearing Ben crying.

“Jus go away will ya!” Ben sighed.

“Why’d ya have to go and make a big show of yerself tonight Ben? This was my night with Whitney. Why does everything ‘ave to revolve around ya, eh?” Callum snapped at him.

“Ya have no idea do ya?” Ben snapped back at him, and glared. “I can’t understand why ya don’t like yaself?”

Callum opened his mouth to reply, but Ben cut him off again.

“It’s been three years today, three years since I lost ‘im. The only person I’ve ever loved.”

“Paul?” Callum asked softly. He then moved to crouch down next to Ben, slowly reaching out across the duvet and to the pillow that Ben was hugging. He managed to prise one of his arms from the pillow and pulled it closer to himself, finding Ben’s hand and moulding his own to hold it.

“I-I didn’t wanna fall in love. I-I didn’t wanna fall in love with Paul at all, I-I didn’t wanna fall in love wiv blokes. But-but it don’t work like that Callum. It don’t work like that.” He sobbed, looking at Callum with his watery, blue eyes.

Callum softly stroked his hand with his thumb, and smiled a small, soft smile at him.

“Why are ya even here Callum? Isn’t this night ‘sposed to be about you and Whit?” Ben questioned, before adding. “She’s a lucky girl, mate.” He sighed deeply and sniffed.

Callum blushed, before lowering his gaze to the duvet and started to absent-mindedly pick at it.

“I was worried about ya. I’d not seen ya that drunk before. Even Jay was concerned-.”

“Well don’t be- no else ever is.”

They were both silent for a while, not knowing what else to say.

“How do you get to be so good, when there is so much bad about, anyway?” Ben told Callum, suddenly breaking the ear-splitting silence.

Callum slowly moved his gaze to coyly look at Ben.

Ben managed a feeble, watery smile at Callum and then Callum felt Ben’s rough, calloused thumb stroke his own hand back.

“This was his room.” Ben told Callum, still holding his hand. He moved to stare straight ahead and Callum looked about the room. “I had my first time in here.”

Callum swallowed slowly, slightly embarrassed at what Ben had just told him.

Ben turned his gaze back to Callum and stared intently at him. “Have you ever been in love?”

Callum was silent for a while, before quietly replying, “Yeah.” He cleared this throat. “Yeah, Course I have.”

Ben looked at him, not convinced, but didn’t say anything

“What I had with Paul was love. But that’s how cruel love can be. It-it gets given to you and it-it gets taken away.” He started sobbing again. “I-I would give my life for just one-one of those last seconds.” He managed to choke out between sobs.

Callum slowly reached out and brushed some tear-soaked hair out of Ben’s face, before moving a thumb to wipe away the fresh tears that were rolling down like tiny diamonds, dancing, glistening on his cheeks.

“It-it musta been hard.” Callum told him.

“Hard!” Ben laughed, then sniffed. “Ya don’t know the half of it. Living, feeling dead inside, day in, day out…yeah, ya could call that hard.” He looked at Callum again. “Will ya-will ya, just lay wiv me a while?” He asked, almost shyly.

This was a side of Ben that Callum had never seen before. A vulnerable, almost child-like side to him. He could see himself reflected in Ben so much right now. A small, sad, lost little boy and it broke his heart.

“I-I haven’t done that since…just sleeping, holding…”

Callum paused for a while, before replying. “Yeah. Sure.” He smiled across at Ben, before moving to turn off the main light. “Budge over then.” He told him, crossing back over to the bed.

“Are you calling me fat Callum Highway!?” Ben exclaimed in mock protest and shifted over to allow Callum to lie down next to him.

Callum crinkled his eyes and laughed. “Maybe.” He poked Ben in the stomach.

“Don’t even get me started on you then!”

Callum got onto the bed and lay down next to Ben and turned his head to look at him before whispering, “I don’t like seeing ya cry…it ruins your blue eyes.”

Ben slide his hand across the duvet cover and found Callum’s hand. They lay there on their backs, holding hands at their sides.

“Then give me a reason not to.” Ben whispered softly back to him.


	19. Playing with Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The proposal is coming....I promise!! 🙌🏻😊

Callum wasn’t sure how long he had been lying there with Ben on Paul’s bed. Time seemed irrelevant when he was with him. The sadness, the pain, the confusion. It all melted away when he was with him and nothing else mattered.

He was shaken from his thoughts, by the faint sound of Whitney’s voice floating over and through the bedroom door. He quickly glanced across at Ben and saw that he was asleep, his chest moving up and down in slow, steady movements.

To Callum, Ben looked like a sleeping angel right now. His long eyelashes grazing his cheeks and the small half smile that graced his lips, made it hard to believe that this was the same man who ran a dodgy car business and roughed people up at the drop of a hat, not to mention a worrying drinking habit that seemed to have manifested.

“I think he’s still over there in that room, Whit.” Kush’s voice, muffled, travelled through the door to Callum’s ears.

“Oh. Oh right. Cheers.”

“I could be wrong though.”

Callum, quickly scrabbled to get up off the bed, and picked up the now, stone-cold mug of coffee that he had brought in for Ben, and quickly downed some of it to look as though Ben had drunk some. He switched on the side lamp on the table.

He heard Ben stir in his slumber, but he didn’t wake up, and went back to breathing his slow, steady breaths. Callum quickly found some tissues. He heard a noise and saw the door handle to the bedroom turn, and the door slowly open.

Callum pretended that he was mopping up a patch, where Ben had been sick, by dabbing at some coffee that he had spilt on the floor.

“Callum. Where have you been all eve—. Oh, he hasn’t has he?” Whitney stopped when she saw Callum hunched over the floor dabbing at a spot with some tissue.

Callum turned around to look at Whitney and placed a finger to his lips, motioning to her to talk quietly.

“Why should you ‘ave to do that Cal? You know we’re gonna ‘ave to dry clean that carpet, coz that is going to stink to high heaven when it’s dried, and I’ve a good mind to send ‘im the bill!” She glared, pointing at Ben’s sleeping form.

“Whit, leave it. ‘Is hangover is gonna be enough punishment with the amount he’s consumed tonight.” Callum tried to reason with her.

“Why ya always got ta stick up for ‘im Cal? He’s never gonna learn. Look, I don’t want ‘im here.” She pushed Callum out of the way and stormed over to where Ben was lying, sleeping peacefully and grabbed him by the ear.

“What’s goin’ on?” Callum heard a voice ask from behind him and spun around. Stuart was standing there.

“OW!” Ben suddenly yelled as he felt Whitney yank him by the ear. “What in the fuck?” He suddenly sat up and looked bleary-eyed around the room.

“Is he being a nuisance? Ya want me to kick ‘im out?” Stuart questioned, looking from Callum to Whitney.

“Why’s he here?” Ben demanded.

“Stu—.”

“Yeah please Stuart. A hand wouldn’t go amiss.” Whitney cut Callum off mid-sentence.

“Why are ya always following me Stuart? You’re like a bad smell that always seems to linger no matter what ya do?” Ben told him, rolling over in the bed and swinging his legs over the edge. He ran a hand over his face, before rubbing one of his eyes.

“Look. Can’t ya just leave ‘im here to sleep it off. He ain’t harmin’ no one.” Callum protested. He saw Stuart glare at him and shrunk back.

“Seems like nobody can keep their ‘ands off me these days!” Ben exclaimed. He stood up from the bed and stretched.

Callum tried not to look, but couldn’t help himself. He watched as Ben’s polo shirt rode up, exposing an inch of milky white skin between the bottom of his shirt and the top of his boxer briefs. Ben met his eyes and smirked.  
  
“Ben. Will ya just leave please.” Whitney told him forcefully.

“Worried ya boyfriend can’t keep ‘is hands off me eh?” Ben winked at Whitney.

Callum shot him a look.

“Or should I be more worried about his bruva? Everywhere I seem to go, he follows. Ain’t that right Stuart?”

Ben saw Stuart’s jaw tense and one of his hands tighten into a fist, before he made to lunge forward towards him. Ben quickly stepped back and put his hands up in mock defence. “Alright! Easy tiger.” He told Stuart sarcastically.

“Ben. Can ya leave please?” Callum chipped in. He wasn’t prepared to be on his hands and knees scrubbing blood out of the carpet at 1am.

Callum saw Ben shoot him a quick look, and thought that he almost looked a bit hurt that he hadn’t stuck up for him.

“Alright! Alright! I know when I’m not wanted.” Ben sighed and looked around for his jacket, which Callum found and quickly passed to him. Their hands brushing slightly as he did so. That spark of electricity still passing between them. Callum knew that Ben had felt it too.

Ben made his way over to the door and Stuart saw Ben gently brush against Callum’s shoulder as he did and frowned.

“Call me sometime yeah?” He teased Callum and shot him a wink. He blew a kiss at Stuart as he went. Stuart made to follow after him, but Callum reached out and placed a hand on his chest.

“Leave it yeah?” He softly told Stuart. Stuart looked at him questioningly and Callum shook his head.

It was about 2am, and Callum and Whitney had just managed to push the last of the stragglers out of the front door into the chill twilight air.

“YOU NEED ME FOR ANYTHIN’, YOU JUS CALL ME YEAH?” Stuart shouted at them both, walking backwards across The Square to Dots.

Callum swallowed down a hard lump. “Yeah…will do. Yeah.”

Kat had refused to leave and had started to get belligerent, but after shoving a half-opened bottle of wine in her hand she finally seemed a little more receptive to the idea and finally left.

Whitney had caught Big Mo raiding the fridge and demanded to know what she was doing, to which she got the response, ‘I BOUGHT IT, SO I’M EATIN’ IT!” There wasn’t much Whitney could say to that, so she thrust a load of sausage rolls and chipolatas into Mo’s arms and said, ‘Ya happy now?”

Mo had replied, “I thought you’d never ask.” She’d nodded at Whitney and scurried out of the kitchen like a little kid thinking they’d won the lottery.

If it hadn’t had been so late, Whitney would have found the situation a whole lot funnier.

“What in the hell?” Callum questioned.

Whitney looked up from clearing away paper plates and plastic glasses into a black rubbish sack, towards where she had heard the voice come from and saw Callum holding something long, scraggly and black.

She frowned before she realised what it was, a smile forming on her face and spreading to the infectious laugh that Callum loved about her.

“What? What is it?” Callum questioned her, a hint of worry to his voice.

“It’s one of Kat’s hair extensions Cal.” Her eyes crinkled with laughter, which was enhanced when she saw Callum recoil with disgust from the object as though it had bitten him.

“Why the hell is one of Kat’s hair extensions lying on our living room floor? Wait…on second thoughts. I really don’t want to know.” He kicked at it with his sock covered foot, before moving on to pick up some chipolata’s that someone had balanced on a photo of him and Whitney. Why? Callum had no idea.

“Hey, Cal. Leave that a second.” She placed a hand on his wrist, and guided him to set the paper plate he was holding, back down on the coffee table. “I wanted to ask you something?” She asked him softly.

“Er…yeah. Ok, yeah…” He absent-mindedly chewed his bottom lip.

“Come sit down yeah?” Whitney took his hand and led him over to the sofa where they both sat down.

Callum sat down fiddling nervously with his hands in his lap.

“What did Ben mean when he said, ‘worried ya boyfriend can’t keep ‘is hands off me’? Whitney turned and questioned, looking intently at him with her pale grey eyes.

Callum’s blood ran cold and he wanted the earth to open up there and then and swallow him whole. He couldn’t afford for her to find out about him and Ben like this, plus what was going on with him and Ben? All he knew was that he felt like a totally different person when he was around Ben.

Ben made him feel safe, he made him feel wanted, but most of all, he never felt alone around him. But he loved Whitney…didn’t he? She was beautiful, kind and sweet, what they had was nothing like what he had experienced with Ben. This was what true love was all about…wasn’t it?

“Er…I have no idea Whit to be honest.” He ran a hand through his hair, something he often did when he was stressed, he just hoped that Whitney hadn’t picked up on this little quirk of his. “It’s Ben were talking about for Christ sake. He was completely wasted when Jay and I found ‘im. It was probably the drink talkin’, you know what he’s like wiv guys. He’s probably talkin’ about his latest fling off Grindr or summit.”

“Yeah.” She replied not sounding too convinced. “Yeah. You’re right.” She repeated, almost sounding as though she was trying to convince herself. She placed a hand on his thigh and rubbed it lovingly.

“He’s Ben Mitchell after all.” Callum managed to let out a nervous laugh.  
  
That was the problem. He was Ben Mitchell, and no one ever crossed Ben Mitchell without some kind of repercussion. Callum mentally kicked himself. He was treading water. He was playing with fire.


	20. Renegades

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to put this up. I've had a lot going on in my personal life lately, and haven't found the time nor enthusiasm to write really.
> 
> I hope this makes up for the lack, as it's one of my longer chapters.
> 
> Enjoy!

Ben was awoken by Ian yelling up the stairs to him. He groaned and rolled over, trying to resume the ‘interesting’ dream he’d been having; consisting of himself and Callum, in the woods, with a pair of handcuffs.

That was until Ian resorted to rearing his annoying, ugly head, by busting into his bedroom and yelling at him that The Old Bill were downstairs in the kitchen wanting to see him in regards to a stolen van.

“Christ, your ugly mug does wonders as a mood killer for my sex dreams.” Ben groaned, rolling over and stretching.

“Charming.” Ian muttered rolling his eyes. “Thank you for indulging me with that piece of information Ben, but could you explain to me as to why I am having to share the breakfast table downstairs with an audience of policemen?”

“Oh, just offer them a tea and tell them I’ll be down in a second will ya?” Ben mumbled, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and ruffling his hair, before running a hand down his face.

“I don’t think that’s really going to suffice. You. Kitchen. Now.” Ian told Ben firmly.

“Alright! Alright! Stop yer whining. I’m coming.” He groaned.

Ben pulled himself up off his bed and looked around for his dressing gown to throw on over his black boxer shorts.

“Well I hope you’re going to get dressed properly before you go down there?” Ian exclaimed watching him.

“Are you trying to suggest they would like to cop an eyeful of what I have to offer? I’m sure they’ve seen worse. Besides, it’s never failed to get me off the hook…yet.” Ben smirked at Ian, tying the chord to his dressing gown.

“Just-just go down and see what they want will ya?” Ian rubbed his forehead, gesturing to the stairs.

Ben pushed past Ian and thumped his way downstairs, flinging open the door to the kitchen. He saw Kathy fussing over two policemen standing in the kitchen.

“Good day Sir’s! How may I be of assistance?” Ben asked them, leaning with one arm up against the door.

“Ah Mr Mitchell nice of you grace us with your presence.” The taller of the two officers told him, before looking him up and down.

“Careful Officer, ya may get more than just an eyeful. If you carry on lookin’ at me like that, people might start talking.” Ben licked his lips whilst looking at the officer, before biting his bottom lip.

The other officer cleared his throat and step forward. “We have reason to believe that you have been selling stolen cars out of your business.”

“And where might you ‘ave got that idea from eh?”

“Was this a vehicle that you sold recently?” The policeman produced a photo of the blue van that he had sold to Callum from a file he was holding.

Ben pulled and exaggerated thinking face, moving a hand to rest his chin on. “I may or may not have. Why’d ya ask?”

“Does the name Callum Highway, mean anything to you?”

Kathy made to open her mouth, but Ben shot her a look and she closed it again.

“Yeah. He’s the local undertaker workin’ wiv all those stiffs an’ that. But it’s ‘is brothers name that stands out to me more, and I wish I could say it was in a good way.”

“Mr Highway has told us that it was you who he purchased the van from, when we pulled him over last week on the 13th”

“Did he now? Well I may ‘ave sold it to ‘im, but I was ripped off as well.”

“He did mention a description of two men, that he said sold you the vehicle.”

“Oh, did he now?” Ben twirled one end of his dressing gown chord in his hand, a smirk playing on his face. “Now if you two coppers have finished interrogating me, I have two, big, fat, juicy sausages to get my mouth around for breakfast.”

“Right. Well we’ll be in touch I’m sure Mr Mitchell.”

“I’m sure I’ll be seeing you later.” Ben winked at the taller of the two coppers.

Callum was sat at his desk, going through a funeral schedule for the rest of the month. Jay was out at the warehouse ordering more coffins and supplies for the business.

“Urgh!” Callum sighed. There were 5 more funerals left for this month and he just didn’t know how they were going to cram them all in. Two of them were back to back. He reached for his mug of coffee and took a gulp.

A figure walked into his office and lent against the door.

“Good day Sir. I was wondering if you could help me with…a stiff?” Ben asked him, striding into the room. Hands in his jacket pockets.

Callum jumped, and sloshed some of the coffee from his mug, down the front of his trousers, before quickly looked about the room to make sure no one else saw Ben enter, then ran a hand down his face.

“Oh, just get out!” He groaned, when he realised who it was, whilst dabbing frantically at his trousers, to try and dry them from the spilt coffee. He was lucky it had missed his clean-on-today white shirt.

“Fancy some help getting out of those…wet clothes?” Ben walked over to Callum and licked his lips suggestively.

“Ben, have you got a reason ta be ‘ere or…? Callum asked.

“Jus thought I’d come and see how my favourite closet gay is.” He came and perched himself on the corner of Callum’s desk and looked down at him dabbing at his trousers with some tissues.

“What?” Callum gestured with his hands.

“Ya missed a spot.” Ben pointed, teasing him.

Callum balled the wad of tissues up and lobbed them at Ben.

“Someone got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning.” Ben idly drew circles with one of his fingers on the desktop, “Or maybe it was just the wrong bed…” He lent down and whispered to Callum, tilting his head to one side.

Callum’s head flew up when he said the last part and he narrowed his eyes at him.

Ben put his hands up to protest, “What? Just an observation.”

“Not in the mood Ben.” Callum mumbled, placing his hands in his lap and twiddling his thumbs.

“Thanks for giving the coppers that alibi for me by the way.” Ben told him.

“Yeah…well that’s what mates are for ain’t it. Jus don’t expect me ta do it for ya every time., If Whit found out—.”

“Callum will ya listen to yerself.”

“What?”

“What’s the matter anyway? You look more down than a pair of Dot’s knickers when the elastics gone.”

“Stu told me dad’s comin’ this weekend.”

“Why? Ya both hate yer dad.” Ben questioned Callum.

Callum shrugged. “Dunno. Probably to make my life even more of a living hell.”

“Yer too hard on yerself Callum. You’re a decent bloke. It’s just that people like me prey on people like you. Kindness is a weakness Callum. Ya need to start recognising that.”

“I’m not you though Ben, and I’m never gonna be.”

“Does Whit know about yer dad comin’?”

Callum shook his head. “So…will ya give me my money back, seeing as I lied for ya an all?” Callum asked Ben, trying to divert the attention away from his relationship with Whitney. He always felt uncomfortable with talking about it in front of Ben.

“Mmm…” Ben pulled a thinking face. “That’s going to be a no. You have the receipt—bought as seen.”

“Ben! That’s like a month’s rent for me and Whit!” Callum protested.

“Not my fault I’m afraid.” Ben shrugged.

Callum was about to open his mouth and say something, when Ben’s phone went off. “Work calls. Sorry Cal.” He stood up and took the call, bumping into Jay in the process. Ben nodded at Jay in acknowledgement and walked out.

It was Friday evening, Callum had at least managed to get his £50 for the taxi back from Ben, but so far, no sign of the £2,000 he’d forked out for the van, to which Whitney hadn’t been best pleased. To top it off he had finally dropped the bombshell to her that his and Stuart’s dad was coming to visit for the weekend.

Whitney had felt that she was treading on eggshells around him for the rest of the week. Callum rarely talked about his father, and when he did, he never had anything good to say about him. From what Whitney knew, he was a bully and a drunk who used to beat the both of them, which caused Stuart to turn to drugs and Callum to just shrink into his shell.

Callum tugged at his shirt for the fifth time in 1 minute.

“Babe you look fine.” Whitney told him as she applied some eyeliner.

“Stu will be here in a second and I can’t even decide between the red tie or the black tie, and then there’s…”

“Cal!” Whitney exclaimed and stood up from her vanity. She walked over to him and plucked both ties from his hands, before tossing the black one onto their bed. “Stand still.” She turned the collar up on his shirt and wrapped his tie around. “Stand still will ya!”

The doorbell went downstairs. “Shit!” Callum exclaimed.

“It will be Stuart. Calm down.”

“IT’S OPEN!” Callum yelled down the stairs.

The door opened and Stuart came in carrying two bottles of wine.

“We’re upstairs!” Whitney yelled down to him.

“Alright.”

He made his way upstairs to their kitchen and set the two bottles down on the countertop. Callum came out to meet him and Stuart started laughing.

“What are ya like? Its dad we’re meetin’ not the bloody Queen.”

“I know, but…well I thought you’d made more of an effort, now I just look like a right tit.” Callum exclaimed when he saw Stuart dressed in a jumper and jeans and starting panicking.

“Will ya leave yer tie alone! I just spent 15 minutes tryin’ to get that straight on yer.” Whitney told him, before opening the door to the oven to check on the dinner she was cooking for the occasion.

Callum nervously fidgeted, hopping from one foot to the other. He’d tried to remember what Ben had said to him about breathing, that time in The Square when he had caught him having a panic attack before he’d gone to start his first day at Coker and Mitchell.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, before mentally counting out slowly. “1-2…” His eyes suddenly flew open at the sound of the doorbell going again. He looked like a deer in headlights, and all colour drained from him.

“Look it’ll be ok. Ya got me ‘ere.” Stuart told him, squeezing Callum’s shoulder reassuringly as he made to go down the stairs to open the door to their father, Jonno.

“Cal. I’m here for you. Just remember that.” Whitney told him, moving to stand in front of him and taking both of his hands in hers. She gave them a squeeze before standing on tiptoe to give him a kiss on the lips.

Everything inside of Callum was screaming ‘RUN!’, but he knew he had done that too many times. He had spent his entire life running, and now it was his turn to take charge of his life.

There were the sounds of two muffled voices making their way up the stairs to the door to the flat. Just the sound of his father’s voice chilled him to the bone. He suddenly felt as though he had reverted back to that 10-year-old boy, when he and Stuart used to live with his father in a 2-bed council flat in Clapham.

Every Friday night, when most kids his age were out on the streets playing football or causing a general ruckus around the neighbourhood, he had spent trying to dodge punches from his verbally-abusing, drunken excuse of a father, and it was something that had mentally scared him for life.

The door to the flat opened and Stuart walked in, closely followed by Jonno. Callum gritted his teeth and held his breath. His hands clenched into fists held at his sides.

“Callum!” His father exclaimed when he saw him standing there.

Callum froze to the spot.

“Come over here and give yer old man a hug!” Jonno raised his arms ready to embrace Callum, a 6 pack of larger in one hand.

‘Somethings never change’, Callum thought to himself.

Jonno staggered over to him and reached out giving Callum a hug. Callum braced himself against the stench of the alcohol that wafted off of his father.

“And who might this gorgeous girl be?” Jonno questioned Callum as he pulled away and caught sight of Whitney. He looked her up and down.

“I’m Whitney. Callum’s girlfriend.” She told him.

“Ooooh so yer not a poof after all! Ya had me worried all them years ago son.” Jonno told Callum, who blushed and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “’Ere ya go love, get that down yer.” Jonno pulled one of the cans free from the pack he was holding and thrust one at her. “‘An you.” He thrust one at Callum as well.

Whitney took the can from Jonno and held it in her hands. Callum looked at her apologetically.

“Erm… why don’t yer come next door dad.” Stuart told Jonno, trying to divert the situation. “Whitney’s cooked us a lovely dinner.”

“Got yerself a real woman as well hey Cal? Knows her place is in the kitchen ‘an all.”

Callum saw Whitney’s face change to that of thunder, and saw her ready to open her mouth. He gestured to her to leave it.

Stuart saw what was about to happen and grabbed their dad by the arm, yanking him into the lounge. Leaving Whitney to glare after him and Callum to stand there looking deflated.

“Are ya just gonna stand there and let ‘im talk to me like that?” Whitney snapped at Callum.

“Whit. I’m so sorry. I did try to warn ya. He’s drunk, as usual. He’s always drunk. Please, just leave it.”

Whitney narrowed her eyes at him. The timer to the oven went off which was a welcome distraction for them both.

“Look. Just help me get this lot on the table will ya?” She thrust a bowl of potatoes at him.

Callum took them and a bowl of mixed veg next door to the table that Whitney has set for them all earlier.

The rest of the evening seemed to go as well as could be. Although there was an obvious tension in the air between Callum and his father.

“This one ‘ere.” Jonno told Whitney, pointing a drunken finger at Callum, “He didn’t get ‘is first kiss until he was 10 ‘an his first girlfriend when he was 15. I ‘fought he was some kinda queer or somethin’. I mean, who doesn’t kiss a girl until their 10? When I was ‘is age I ‘ad all the girls after me. Right ladies’ man me.” He reached for another can that was on the table.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough of those.” Stuart told him.

“Who are you to tell me what I can or can’t do? My mum?”

“Jus’…leave it yeah.” Callum jumped in, trying desperately to prevent a full-on fight from breaking out between Stuart and their father.

“Oh! He speaks, does he?”

“Dad!”

“Christ! You really are as wet as that wank rag I found in bedroom, that time when we lived on Notre Dame Estate, in Clapham all those years back.!” His dad exclaimed, laughing.

Callum had turned bright red by now and had fully had enough of his dad’s antics. He stood up abruptly and plates of food went flying. He drew his fist back, ready to fly at his father and deck him one, but he wavered. It wasn’t in him to do it and his father knew it.

“He hasn’t even got the balls to punch his old man.” Jonno laughed, taunting Callum. “G’won then son, stop being a poof and fight like a man!” He shouted at Callum.

Callum could feel the tears starting to brew in his eyes, and that was the last thing he wanted his father to see from him right now.

“Fuck This!” He shouted and stormed out of the room, his footsteps thumping on the stairs fading away and the front door slamming behind him; causing a picture of himself and Whitney, that they had hanging on the hallway wall to fall off and land on the stairs. The glass smashing.


	21. Shoulda Put a Ring on It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I couldn't help myself. 😂😂

Callum stormed across The Square to The Vic. He was absolutely mortified at his dad right now. If he wasn’t ragging him about being potentially gay, he was embarrassing in front of his girlfriend. This was the exact reason as to why he wanting nothing more to do with his father.

It was grey and miserable outside and he laughed internally at how ironic it was in that it mirrored his exact mood perfectly. He tilted his head to the inky blackness that was the sky, and felt the first few drops of rain land on his face, washing away the tears that he had shed moments before.

His phone started vibrating in his trouser pocket. He ignored it. If it was important it would go to answerphone and they would leave a message. He just wanted to be left alone to his own devices right now. He was fed up of being picked on and poked at.

Pushing open the doors to The Vic, he made his way through the throngs of locals to the corner of the bar. He would just have a few quiet drinks on his own in a quiet corner. Maybe it would have all died down by the time he made his way back to the flat. No doubt Stuart would have seen his dad off and helped Whitney clean up the mess he’d left behind.

“Alright son. How’s things goin’ in your own gaff?” Mick greeted him. “You and Whit ain’t fallen out already ‘ave ya?” He questioned after seeing Callum’s face.

“Don’t- don’t even start.” Callum groaned at Mick.

“That bad eh?”

“My Dad.”

“Jonno’s here? Where?” Mick asked looking around.

“At the flat. Stu’s still there wiv Whit.”

Mick pulled Callum a pint and slid it across to him. “On the house.” He nodded at Callum. “Look come upstairs and we can talk about things yeah? Trace can man the bar, can’t ya Trace?” Mick asked Tracey, who was wiping down the bar top.

“Sure.” She replied to Mick.

“Nah-nah you’re alright Mick. I-I don’t want any trouble.” He sighed slumping against the bar top; thinking.

“Well. Ya know ya more than welcome. Offers there if ya need it son.” Mick reached out and squeezed Callum’s shoulder to reassure him.

“Thanks Mick.” Callum gave him a small smile, and watched as he moved to serve Jack further down the bar.

Callum picked up his pint and looked around to find a quiet corner to himself, when he saw the doors to The Vic open, and Ben come in with Jay. He met Ben’s eyes briefly, before dropping his pint back on the bar and making a swift exit towards the Gents.

He made his way to the sinks and bent over to splashed some cold water on his face, trying to calm himself down from the disastrous meal earlier, before pulling some paper hand towels from their holder and dabbing at his face to dry it.

He heard the door squeak open and some footsteps as someone walked in. They stopped.

“You can’t keep away from me can ya?”

Callum jumped, then froze in dabbing his face, before mentally rolling his eyes and internally groaning. He recognised the voice instantly. In fact, he’d already had a good idea who it was, from the footsteps as they walked in. Ben just wouldn’t leave him alone.

“You followed me!” Callum exclaimed, pulling the paper towel from his face and finding Ben standing there, leaning against the sink countertop, arms folded across his chest, innocent look on his face, smirk starting to tug at the corner of his mouth.

“I was in the pub first!” Ben gestured towards the door of the Gents.

Callum looked around completely confused, his mouth opening and shutting like a goldfish. “I-I, you literally just walked in Ben, I just saw you with Jay.” He said frustrated.

“Me?” Ben pointed to himself, “Nah, that was my not so good-looking twin.”

“Ben! L-Look. This ends now ok?” Callum told him flustered.

“Ends?” Ben questioned. “We barely even started!” He exclaimed and laughed at Callum in disbelief.

“Don’t play games Ben.”

“Me? Play games? You might want ta look at yerself in a mirror mate, then tell me who the one playing games is.”

Callum swallowed. “Look. I love Whit OK? And-and who knows, one day we may even get married.”

“Yeah. One day Callum. One day this, one day that. It’s all chop and change with you as quickly as the weather changes round here.”

Callum opened his mouth to protest.

“I ain’t no dog to you Callum. I ain’t jus gonna come runnin’ to ya everytime you decide to click yer fingers because you’ve fallen out with Whitney over what colour the bathroom should be painted.” Ben snapped at him. “I deserve better than that.”

“I decide who I deserve. Not you, not anyone else. ME!” Callum shouted, pointing at himself.

“And what about me? Or is it all about Callum? Callum this Callum that. Do my feelings not count in any of this?” Ben shouted back pointing to himself angrily. “Never mind. You don’t even know what love is. People like you don’t deserve it.” Ben stabbed a finger into Callum’s chest.

Callum was silent for a while, before replying quietly. “I’m sorry Ben. I’m sorry it came to this. I’m sorry yer feelings got hurt an all.”

“Well that’s the problem when feelings get involved innit.” Ben muttered to no one in particular. “It just scares me; that since Paul died, I’m never gonna be that person again. I was better…I was somethin’ more.” Ben slumped to the floor of the bathroom, resting his back up against a wall. He picked at a hangnail on his thumb.

Callum stood there with the wet paper towel still in his hand and looked down at Ben sat on the floor. He lobbed the paper towel into the bin and sunk down next to Ben and looked across at him.

“Don’t do that.” He told him, reaching out to pull Ben’s right hand away from his left, where he had been picking at the hangnail. “You’ll make it bleed.”

Ben’s thumb started to bleed. “Too late. He said looking at the small bead of crimson that was starting to form.

Callum tutted.

“I jus want ta be able ta feel somethin’ again ya know?” He turned his head to look across at Callum, before returning his gaze back to his thumb; watching the crimson bead grow, before squeezing it. The crimson bead grew bigger until the blood pooled over the nailbed and dribbled down his thumb.

He raised his thumb to his mouth and sucked it to stop it from bleeding.

“You’ll feel something again Ben. You’re a brilliant bloke. You—.” Callum was cut off by the door to the Gents opening. Their gazes both turning to look up to see who it was.

“Well isn’t this cozy?” A voice sneered.

Callum scrabbled to stand up. “D-dad? I-I wasn’t. We-we weren’t. Ben’s a good mate of mine. We were jus talkin’.” Callum rubbed the back of his neck, willing himself not to flush. He caught Ben glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, giving him a questioning look and looking slightly hurt at being referred to as ‘a mate’.

Ben pulled himself to stand up alongside Callum and resumed resting against the sinks, arms folded across his chest, eyeing Jonno up and down, his eyes narrowing at the bald man.

“Yep. Just two ‘mates’ chattin’ is all’.” He emphasised the word ‘mates’ and saw Callum flinch.

Jonno nodded to himself, almost seemingly taking note, before looking from Callum to Ben and back at Callum again.

Callum made an excuse, about needing to help Whitney clear up the mess left over from dinner and doing the dishes. He pushed past Ben, his arm slightly brushing Ben’s and pushed open the door, walking back out in to the humdrum of the bar.

Jonno quickly reached out and grabbed the front of Ben’s shirt and rammed him up against the wall. Fists tightly clenched into a ball.

“Leave my son alone! I know what your sort are like and he aint one of ‘you’.” He threatened Ben.

“One of my lot? And what are one of ‘my lot’ supposed to be eh?” Ben questioned, cocking his head to one side and looking at Jonno.

“One of those…them Nancy Boys, fags, homosexuals.”

“I think you mean gay. By the way, anyone told you yer breath stinks and yer attitude goes along with it. Didn’t Callum provide any After Eight Mints for desert…or do you not like a bit of desert?” he winked at Jonno.

“Shut it ya poof. Why don’t ya leave Callum alone and go along running back ta yer Mummy like a good little boy.” Jonno patted the side of Ben’s face patronisingly, before slamming him up against the wall again.

“Anyone would think you’d taken a liking to me, what with ya bein’ so handsy with me. Come ta cop a feel have yer? Thing is…toilet hook-ups ain’t really my thing.” Ben winced, pulling a face.

“Shut up you mug!” Jonno punched Ben in the stomach with his fist. Ben doubled over in pain, winded.

“Think yer a hard man are ya? See. I know what people like you are like. Yer just like my old man. Nothin’ but a bully. You throw yer weight around tryin’ ta get yer way. But what it really comes down to is, ya bein’ insecure wiv yerself. See Callum—.”

Jonno thrust him up against the wall again and pinned Ben there with his body, whilst getting up in his face. “You’re evil you are. Tryin’ to get in my son’s head and messin’ wiv ‘im.”

“Callum is gay! He likes blokes. Why can’t ya just accept ‘im for who he is, and whilst I’m flattered ‘an all that the real reason ya here, is because yer want a bit of this.” Ben grabbed his crotch in a gesture. Jonno reeled away in disgust. “The thing is…,” Ben continued. “You’re a bit too much like my old man, an that would be weird.” He narrowed his eyes at Jonno.

Jonno came flying at him and grabbed the front of his shirt again. “Daddy issues.” Ben shrugged and laughed. He lent forward and kissed Jonno on the cheek. Jonno recoiled like a snake and frantically wiped at his face, as though Ben’s kiss had just branded him and marked him out as now being gay.

Ben lent against the wall; laughing, before straightening himself out. He made his way to the door, but paused and turned to Jonno. “Call me sometime, yeah?” He winked at Jonno, before striding back out to resume his pint with Jay.

Callum let himself back into the flat. He’d walked the long way around The Square to try and cool off before he went back to Whitney. He didn’t want her to face his wrath, it was nothing to do with her and that would be unfair.

He loved Whitney, she’d never messed him about, she was simple, easy and fun to be around. In fact, he owed it to her for bringing him out of his shell and actually giving him the guts to even ask her out. She was a beautiful looking girl and he knew he was punching well above his weight.

Sure, she had been engaged to his best army mate Lee, at one point. But it was through him that he had even had the chance to meet her. Many more times than he could count Mick and countless others had told him that she was a keeper. It was about time that he started listening to them and finally did something about it.

Whilst he didn’t have the money to buy her a proper ring, yet. Hopefully, once he managed to get some money back from Ben for the stolen van he had sold to him, and received his next pay check from working at the funeral parlour, he might be able to scrape together enough money to buy her a proper one.

For now, though, he had stopped by the Minute Mart on the way back and bought a packet of Haribo. He had laughed at himself as he had done so, and knew that Whitney would see the funny side of things. That was one more thing about her that he loved. She got his sense of humour. She never had high expectations of him, and knew that things were only as they were, for now.

“Stu!?” He called up the stairs; hoping by now Stuart had returned to Dots. Whilst he was his brother and all, it was starting to feel as though he had moved in with them. Somethings he just wanted to keep privately between himself and Whit, and right now was one of those times.

“He’s gone home. Where the hell have you been!” Whitney yelled down to him. Callum could hear the clinking of crockery, and felt guilty that he hadn’t been there to clear away the table from the disaster that was dinner, and to help her with washing the dishes.

He climbed the last few steps before he got to the door to the flat and pushed it open. Whitney had on her yellow marigolds and was up to her elbows in soapsuds, looking mildly frazzled. Strands of red hair had escaped her perfectly pinned bun and she was flushed in the face. To him, she looked beautiful.

“Callum! Where have you been?! It was like World War Three exploded in here after you stormed out, I didn’t kn—.”

“Look. Leave that.” Callum told her, taking her arm and pulling her to face him.

“Callum, I’m dripping soapsuds all over the floor and to be honest, a little bit of help wouldn’t amiss.” She looked at him crossly.

“Come and sit down a second.”

“Why?” She then realised he was being serious. “What’s wrong? What have you done?”

“Whit! Sit down will ya. Please!”

She huffed and pulled the wet washing up gloves off and flung them on the countertop. “This better be good, and don’t think this gets you out of helping me with the washing up.” She placed her hands on her hips and scowled at him before walking out of the kitchen and into the Sitting Room, sitting down on the sofa.

“There. Right. That good enough for ya? You have my full undivided attention now…”

She was cut off by Callum reaching into his trouser pocket and rustling around for something, before producing a blue packet. She frowned at him.

“Why on earth do ya want me to sit down for a packet of Haribo? Honestly Callum.” She rolled her eyes.

Callum ignored her and opened the bag, rummaging around in it. “What are yer favourite colours?” He asked her.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“No. Look, what are your favourite colours?”

Whitney sighed and folded her arms across her chest. “Oh, I don’t know. Yellow and red. There, happy now?”

There was rustling from the Haribo packet, before Callum found what he was looking for. He plucked out a yellow and red, gummy, Haribo ring and set the rest of the packet down on the coffee table.

Whitney was looking intently at him, frowning.

He walked over to stand before her and then knelt down on one knee. “Ok…so I haven’t got no fancy speech prepared an all, nor some expensive ring…but I’m hopin’ that if ya say yes I can save up and get yer a proper one like ya deserve…but...”

“Wait. Are you askin’ me what I think you are?” Whitney questioned him quietly. “Callum Highway, are you askin’ me to marry ya?”

Callum could feel the heat rising to his face, and he was floundering for the words, before he cleared his throat and got out, ‘Whit. Will-will you marry me?” He presented her with the yellow and red gummy Haribo ring.

Whitney looked down at it, and for a short moment, Callum felt like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

She burst out laughing and her hands flew to her mouth.

“Y-you don’t…”

“YES! Yes of course I will marry you. Yer so stupid sometimes.” She looked at him and started laughing, before looking down at the gummy ring again. “What are you like?” She grinned at him before holding out her hand.

“So ya will?”

“Yes silly. Yes I will marry you Callum Highway.”

Callum looked at her, before busting out into a huge grin. He took her small hand in his and managed to slide the gummy ring onto her ring finger.

“I love it! It totally brings out the colour in my eyes.” She laughed, before leaning in and giving Callum a huge kiss.

“I promise ya, that when I get my next pay check from the parlour, I’ll start saving to get yer a proper one. One that you pick out.” He told her seriously.

She stood up and held her hand out to look at it on her finger. “I dunno. I quite like this one you know.” She grinned another huge grin at him, before jumping into his arms. “I love you Callum Highway.” She mumbled against his lips as she crashed hers against them.


	22. Got a secret. Can you keep it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a filler chapter this one...
> 
> How many of you remember 'Pretty Little Liars' by the way? 😏

Over the course of the weekend, Whitney had gone into hyperdrive about their potential, upcoming wedding. Callum was feeling a little overwhelmed with it all and had had to try and calm her down on more than one occasion.

He had tried to reason with her, by making her realise that they hadn’t even got a proper ring yet, so there was no point talking about what food they were going to have and planning seating arrangements just yet. Thankfully, he had started to make her see some sense.

Callum had thought that by proposing to Whitney, it would have sorted his head out for him, made things more secure to him and made him feel safe, but instead; with all the talks of speeches and the dress and flower arrangements, it had made his anxiety go into hyper-drive and he was left wondering what monster he had created.

He was going to have to sit down properly and have a word with Whitney, as he knew how excited she was about the engagement, but if word got out it would spread like wildfire around The Square. His thoughts flitted to Ben. He couldn’t afford for him to find out like that, he owed him that much at least.

Callum wandered into The Caf to get his morning latte, before making his way over to Coker and Mitchell to start his day making orders of flower arrangements for the funerals that would be occurring over the next few weeks.

“Hi Callum. The usual is it?” Kathy asked him, when she saw him come in and make his way over to the counter. She gave him a smile.

“Er…yeah, yeah please. Actually, make that two and a bacon butty.” He looked at his watch. “Running late. Thought I better keep Jay sweet. You know how it is.” He smiled back at her.

“That to go then?”

“Please. Oh, and white bread and brown sauce.”

“Sure.” She turned her back to put some bread in the toaster and some rashers of bacon on the grill. “How yer findin’ it workin’ wiv all those dead people? The silence must be deafening.” She laughed at her own joke, popping the toaster and buttering the toast.

“S’alright. It’s nice not to have a load of backchat.” He laughed.

Kathy passed him his two lattes.

“How much do I owe ya?”

“£6.30 please love.”

Callum reached into his back pocket for his wallet.

Kathy laid out the bacon butty on a paper plate and bent to get a paper bag out from under the counter for it.

The bell to The Caf tinkled and Kathy stood up to see who it was. Ben strode in rubbing his hands together, blowing on them.

“Bit nippy out there ta’day.” He announced.

“You alright love? Kathy asked him, “What can I get yer?”

Ben walked over to where Kathy stood behind the counter and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled at him.

“Oh, yer shouldn’t ‘ave.” Ben told her; swanning over to pick up the paper plate with the bacon butty on it.”

“Ah! Hang on a sec—.”

Ben bit a huge chunk out of one of the halves of the butty and lent with his back against the counter, plate in one hand, butty in the other. He glanced at Callum. “Cor…bit salty.” He remarked and smirked at Callum.

Callum, looked around getting a bit flustered and opened his mouth to protest.

“Ben! That wasn’t for you, that was Callum’s!” Kathy scorned.

“Oh, he’ll get over it. We’re just ‘mates’ after all. Aren’t we Cal?”

“Y-yeah. Erm...” He rubbed the back of his neck, “that’s right. We’re mates, just mates. That’s how I want it to stay.”

Kathy frowned. “Look. D’ya want me to do another one for ya Callum? I’m sorry about ‘im.” She gestured towards Ben, who smiled innocently at her, like butter wouldn’t melt.

“Nah. Yer alright. I best get goin’”

“Well at least take what’s left.” She snatched the paper plate from Ben’s hand and shoved the other untouched half into a paper bag for Callum and held it out to him.

“OI! I wasn’t done wiv that!” Ben told Kathy, before grabbing a tea towel to wipe his greasy fingers on.

“Ah-ah! Manners Benjamin!”

He grinned and then made to give her another kiss on the cheek, grease from the bacon and brown sauce still clinging to his mouth.

“Urgh! Get away from me! Shoo!” She flicked the tea towel at him to keep him away.

“Thanks Kathy.” Callum smiled at her.

“No worries love.” She smiled back at him, still trying to move away from Ben. Ben gave Callum a slow, sly wink.

“And what time do yer call this?” Jay greeted Callum as he walked into Coker’s.

“I know! I know! Got waylaid by yer brother.” Callum sighed, handing a latte to Jay and setting the half of bacon butty down on the desk.

“What’s he done now?” Jay questioned, rolling his eyes and picking up the paper bag, opening it and peering inside. He reached in and pulled out the remaining half of the butty. “Where-What happened to the rest of it?” Jay asked Callum looking puzzled. “Oh, lemme guess?”

Callum shrugged, “Ben.”

“Well thanks for the gesture mate.” Jay tucked into the remaining half hungrily.

It was mid-morning, when Whitney popped by Cokers.

“Oh, hey Whit. You lookin’ for Callum?” Jay asked her.

“Yeah, is he about? I won’t keep ‘im long. I know yer really busy, he was tellin’ me about it on the weekend.”

“Yeah he’s jus out back.” Jay turned and yelled. “Cal! Whit’s here for ya!”

Callum made his way back out to the front, holding some flowers from the flower arrangement he had been sorting out ready for a funeral they were doing tomorrow.

“Awww you shouldn’t ‘ave.” Whitney teased him

Callum looked puzzled.

“The flowers Cal…nevermind. Actually, they could look nice in some flower arrangements for our wedding, wha—” Whitney blabbered, but was cut off by Jay exclaiming.

“WEDDING! You guys are getting’ married?” He looked from Whitney to Callum and back to Whitney.

Callum winced. This was just what he was trying to avoid happening. To make things worse, the front door opened and Ben came in, just as Jay had exclaimed the word ‘wedding’.

He frowned deeply.

“Yeah, we are. Cal proposed on Saturday. We ain’t got a proper ring or anythin’ yet, but we will when we can afford to. He’s a big softie. Proposed to me with a Hariibo ring.” She laughed, eyes twinkling.

Callum stared down at his feet, mentally calculating if his body would be too big to fit in one of the coffins they had in the shop, because that’s how he felt right about now. He wished he were dead.

“Aw...ever the romantic aren’t ya Cal.” Ben said sarcastically, a mocking tone to his voice.

“Oh, leave him alone Ben!” Whitney scorned, slapping him on the arm. “Yer only jealous, I know!”

Ben managed to keep his cool and refrain from blushing. He cleared his throat, then said, “Callum tell you we were talking earlier?” He saw Callum suddenly snap his head to look at him, panic written all over his face.

“Oh? No, no he didn’t.” Whitney told Ben, turning to look at Callum.

Callum ran a finger under the collar of his shirt, suddenly feeling the temperature in the room increase by couple of degrees. “Well….”

“He wants to…come out.” Ben said and smirked, when he saw Callum’s eyes fly open in sheer panic and swallow slowly. He also saw Callum bite his lip; something he had noticed him do whenever he was in an uncomfortable position.

Callum could tell he was enjoying every minute of this, seeing him squirm. He was livid with him, but right now he hoped that Whitney hadn’t clocked onto what Ben had actually meant about ‘coming out’.

“Oh, really! That would be nice. It’s been a while since we all went out together. Ya know. You, us, Jay and Lola.” Whitney smiled and then looked across at Jay who was standing there observing the scene before him; amused.

“So it has.” Ben agreed nonchalantly

“What about the E20 on Friday about 9? It’ll be a right laugh, won’t it babe?” Whitney turned and asked Callum who was looking rather sheepish.

“Yeah…drinks on Friday should be good.” He managed a small smile.

“Er Ben. Did ya want to talk to me about somethin’ coz I’ve gotta see a bloke about collecting a load of brass plaques?” Jay questioned him, after seeing what the time was.

“Oh nothin’ that can’t wait. Come round the Car Lot later.” He smiled at him.

“Sure. Callum I’m hopin’ to be back by 3, but if I’m not, can ya see to Mrs Fairway for me. She’s comin’ round for half 3. Notes and order are all in the file as usual, yeah?” Jay asked him half out the door.

“Sure.” Callum nodded and nervously straightened his tie.

“Oh, is that the time I better be off. Don’t be late back home, I’m gonna cook us dinner.” Whitney told Callum, standing on tiptoe to kiss him.  
  
Callum stood there, arms limp by his sides, he could feel Ben’s eyes on the both of them as Whitney kissed him, watching intently.

He stood there and watched as Whitney left, before turning to go back and resume the flower arranging, he had been in the middle of before Jay had called him out to the front of the shop.

“Well that was a nice surprise.” He suddenly heard Ben’s chill words ring out to him, cutting the atmosphere like a knife. “When were ya plannin’ on tellin’ me the good news eh?... or weren’t ya?”

Callum slowly turned around and found Ben still standing there, hands in his trouser pockets, sincere look on his face.

“I was Ben. I didn’t want yer to find out like that, believe me.”

“I can tell your lyin’ Callum, so spare me the sob story.”

“I ain’t lyin’ Ben!” Callum told him frustrated.

“See. I know a liar when I see one, even a very good one at that. I mean, I would know. I spent most of my life livin’ a lie, until...” He walked over to Callum and stopped when he was a couple of inches away from him and looked up at him.

Callum moved his gaze down to look at Ben and his eyes met Ben’s.

“I want ya to do another little job for me. Those coppers are gonna come back. They ain’t gonna let go of what they ‘ave on me and that stolen van. They’ve been after me for years, tryin’ to gather dirt to arrest me. So, I’m gonna need ya to tell them, that you were wiv me here in Walford the day that van was sold, an’ that it was originally sold ta my old man…that I had nothin’ ta do wiv it.”

“I-I ain’t lying for ya Ben! I-I ain’t gonna do it again, it’s wrong.” Callum protested.

“But Callum… you’re so good at lyin’, you’re getting’ better an’ better, which is why,” He slowly reached out and took Callum’s tie in one of his hands. “I want ya to utilise that skill…unless ya don’t want to lie anymore.” Ben ran his hand slowly down Callum’s tie, “In which case, I can help ya to tell the truth.” He rested his hand on the waistband of Callum’s trousers, running his fingers absent-mindedly along it.

There was silence for a while and Ben coyly bit his bottom lip, gaze hovering. “So… what’s it to be?”


	23. Hero of the Half Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had quite a lot of fun writing this chapter.  
Enjoy!  
😁

“Daddy! Why can’t I come with youuuu?” Lexi whined when she saw Ben; reluctantly, getting ready to go out with Jay, Lola, Whitney and Callum.

Callum.

That name would forever hang on his lips. His stomach tightened when he remembered the event that had unfurled in front of him earlier in the week.

“Dad. Dad. Daddy. Daddyyyyyy.” Lexi continued whining. Ben was eventually shaken from his thoughts by Lexi tugging at his shirt sleeve.

“What darlin’?” He asked her, crouching down to her height and smiling at her fondly.

“Why can’t I come with you? You never take me anywhere with you.” Lexi sulked, sticking out her bottom lip at him.

Lola was already round at Jay and Billy’s and said she would meet Ben at The Vic for pre-drinks, before they all headed towards the E20 for the night. Ben had reluctantly agreed to tag along, after Jay had said he would buy him a pint or two. No more. No less. He had made that much clear to him.

Kathy was very kindly looking after Lexi for them for the night, whilst Ian was running the restaurant. It was Curry Night and that was always popular with the locals. Ben knew Ian wouldn’t be home until late. With any luck, he might pull tonight and be able to sneak the ‘lucky guy’ back for ‘after dark action’ without getting the Third Degree from Ian.

“Well now. I don’t think that’s entirely true now, is it Princess?” He reached out and cupped her chin in his finger and thumb. “What about that time I took ya to the zoo, an’ to the fair an’ won ya that HUGE teddy bear eh?” He told her smiling.

“But why can’t I come with you nowwww?”

“Because. Where I’m goin’ is a party for adults an’ you’d find it very boring sweetheart.”

“Are Callum and Whitney going to be there? They always take me places. I bet they’d take me with them tonight. Plus, Callum always lets me have desert before lunch, when we’re out and you and mummy never let me, even if I ask nicely.” She dramatically sighed and folded her arms, before frowning.

Ben’s jaw tightened, but he couldn’t afford to let his emotions get the better of him about the situation in front of Lexi. That wouldn’t be fair. It wasn’t her fault that he hadn’t been paying her enough attention as of late.

“Oh, has he now?” Ben questioned. Lexi nodded dramatically. Her blonde ponytail bouncing around like a coiled spring. “Well I shall have to be havin’ words with him about that won’t I?” He teased her.

She placed a hand over her mouth. “Uh oh. Callum told me not to tell you. He said it was our secret and that you and Mummy would get cross with him!” She looked as though she was about to burst into tears.

“Hey! Hey! Now, don’t be gettin’ all upset now.” Ben bent down and picked her up. She flung her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulder. “It can be our little secret that ya told me. If I don’t tell him that ya told me, then I won’t tell him off. We just won’t tell Mummy yeah?” Ben rubbed her back soothingly, before setting her back down again. “Deal?” He questioned, looking down at her.

“DEAL!” She shouted and jumped up to give him a high-five. Ben didn’t realise she was going to do this and therefore hadn’t held his hand out for her to slap. “You did it wrong! You’re supposed to hold your hand out so I can high-five itttt!

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Ben teased her, before holding his hand up to let her high-five him again. She did. “Was that better for madam?”

“Yes!” She grabbed the sides of her skirt and twisted around from side to side.

“Right. Now you be good for Nanny Kathy ok? And I may just take ya to the aquarium next weekend. What have ya got on yer face now?” He questioned her.

Lexi stopped dancing about and looked at Ben who managed to grab her round the waist before she could run off.

“What’s this? What’s Daddy got?”

Kathy walked into the room and smiled at the two of them.

Lexi bent to look and see what Ben had. He’d tucked his thumb under his forefinger and exclaimed. “I’ve got yer nose!”

“Noooooo!” Lexi yelled and ran over to Kathy and hugged her legs.

“Ben! Don’t be mean to her and tease her like that!” She scorned him, before bending down to sooth her. “She’ll be havin’ nightmares now.”

S’alright. I won’t be the one tryin’ to get her ta go to bed.” He smirked at Kathy, before picking his phone and wallet up off the table and stuffing them in the back pockets of his trousers.

Kathy rolled her eyes at him. “Oh charmin’. Thanks.”

Ben laughed and blew some kisses at Lexi who was still hiding into Kathy’s legs. “Goodnight Princess. You be good yeah?” He smiled as he backed out of the room, making his way into the hallway.

The smile was short lived as he made his way across The Square to The Vic. He felt his phone go and fished it out of his back pocket.

_1 message-Jay_

Ben sighed and opened it.

_“Oi! Hurry up! We ain’t got all night! Shirley’s already accosted me twice into trying to sing karaoke with her! Where are ya?”_

Ben text him back.

_“Alright! Keep yer hair on. Jus’ comin’. Had to say g’night ta my Little Princess, didn’t I? Whilst yer at it. Get me a pint in will ya?”_

He hit send…before walking smack into someone. “Oi! Watch it!” He exclaimed angrily, before looking up and realising who it was and rolling his eyes. “You come to gloat an’ all have ya? You sure you didn’t ‘ave some hand in the proposal? Seems like somethin’ you’d do?” Ben snarled, looking up at the tall, bald man who loomed over him.

“Proposal?” Stuart questioned Ben; looking completely puzzled.

“Yeah, yer brother proposing to Whit. That proposal. Or did it jus’ conveniently ‘slip yer mind’ eh?”

Stuart started laughing.

“You really ‘ave lost it ain’t ya.” Ben told him getting frustrated now.

“Looks like Cal has finally come to ‘is senses then. I knew he would. He’d be stupid to pass up on a cracking girl like her, especially if the other competition is…well…you. I know who I’d choose.”

Ben gave him a sarcastic smile. “Well yer lucky then that I don’t really go for bald, Uncle Fester looking blokes then for you ta need to choose over innit? No offence or nothin’.”

Stuart gave him a fake smile.

“Now if you’ll excuse me. I have a pint waiting in there,” Ben pointed to The Vic, “with my name on it.” He shoulder-barged past Stuart and gritted his teeth. Ben knew Stuart had one up on him now that he knew about Callum and Whitney being engaged, and he would rile him about it no end.

When Ben opened the doors to The Vic, there was a lot of commotion going on and he was confused at first, until he saw Mick raise a glass from behind the bar and announce, “TO THE HAPPY COUPLE!” Then beam from ear to ear. He saw Linda reach over and give Whitney and Callum massive hug.

Ben realised a lump had formed in his throat and managed to swallow it down before pushing through the throng of people until he got to the bar. He managed to catch Shirley’s eye and she made her way over to him.

“All these happy couples about. Makes yer sick doesn’t it?” She nodded towards where Callum and Whitney were stood laughing and smiling, whilst getting mobbed by residents from The Square. “What’ll it be?”

“Ahh…it’ll all be over in a month. Always is in Walford. Nothing ever lasts.” He sighed and rubbed one of his eyes with a finger. “Can I have a whiskey Shirl. Make it a double actually.”

“That’s dark for someone yer age Ben. Yer a Mitchell remember.” She said turning to look at him whilst measuring him a double of whiskey.

“Best ta keep things that way. Gotta stone, cold heart me.” He forced a small smile. “Cheers Shirl.” He thanked her, taking the tumbler from her and nodding, before taking a sip. He turned his head, before he locked eyes with Callum through the crowd of people.

He saw the smile that was on Callum’s face, gradually fall, before raising his tumbler of whiskey towards him to acknowledge a ‘cheers’. Callum made to push through the crowd over to Ben, but got caught up in the crowd, before Whitney caught him and pulled him back.

Ben quickly downed the rest of his whiskey, before slamming the tumbler down on the bar top, pushing himself away and storming back off out of The Vic. He was determined to enjoy this night out, and thought he’d get a head start on drinking, before the others made it over to the E20 to join him.

“Earth to Callum!” Whitney laughed and waved a hand in front of his face, before following his gaze and catching the tail end of Ben’s jacket exiting through The Vic’s front doors. “Was that Ben?” She asked him, pulling a face.

“Yeah.”

“What is problem?” She sighed.

“Dunno. Maybe I should go—”

“No. Leave ‘im to it. He’s a big boy now Callum. He don’t need no one to hold his hand anymore, every time he decides to throw a tantrum. He’s got ta realise that doesn’t work no more, and to stop screamin’ out for attention. Come on. Don’t let his childish behaviour ruin our night babe.” She grabbed his arm to pull him back to where Jay and Lola were sitting.

“Soooo. Who ya gonna have organising ya Stag Do?” Jay grinned at Callum as he sipped at his pint.

“Oh, I dunno, I ain’t even bought Whit a proper ring yet. I-I don’t want any fuss anyway?” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Mate! You’re getting’ married. You have ta have a Stag Do. In fact, it’s almost an unwritten law.” Jay claimed.

“Y’know I’m not like that Jay.” Callum blushed slightly.

“Come on. Ya need me an’ Ben to sort it out for ya!” Jay slapped Callum on the back which caused him to choke on his pint. “Where is he anyway? I spent £4 on a pint that’s sittin’ here, and it ain’t getting’ drunk.” Jay asked, looking around The Vic to see if he could spot Ben.

“He was here, but he left.” Whitney piped up.

“Well...wha-where did he go?” Jay questioned her, puzzled.

“Oh come on Jay. This is Ben we’re talking about. He could be anywhere.” Lola told him, shouting over the music.

Callum made an excuse to go to the bathroom, and fished out his phone and dialled Ben’s number. It rang about 5 times before going to voicemail. He hummed and hawed about whether to leave a message, before taking a deep breath and dialling again. Again, it went through to answerphone.

_“Hey Ben…erm…it’s me Callum…guess you already know that...erm…wh-where are ya? Jay’s askin’ an’…” _He was cut off by Ben answering his phone.

“D’ya realise how dumb yer sounded leavin’ that voicemail?” Callum heard him chuckle and smiled to himself.

“Well…”

“So, what’s this? Liiiiiike Round…I dunno Callum, where are we up to now? Round 5 or somethin’?

Callum could tell that Ben was tipsy from the way he was slightly slurring his words.

“Come on Ben. That ain’t fair.”

Ben laughed. “Oh come on. When’s it going to kick off again? Because we both know it will.”

“BEN! I’m marrying Whitney. When are ya gonna get that!?”

“Callum! Ya love cock, the sooner you start admittin’ that to yerself, the sooner ya can stop beatin’ yerself up about it.”

Callum blushed profusely. He hated that about Ben. He always knew how to get him flustered and make him feel awkward. He knew Ben enjoyed it, and that he was probably somehow managing to tap into his brain right now reading his very thoughts.

“Look. Where are ya?” He changed the subject quickly.

“E20. Where else?”

“Please don’t do anythin’ dumb Ben?” Callum ran a hand through his hair.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I know ya, that’s why!” Callum heard someone open the door the bathroom and hung up on Ben before turning around to find Jay there.

“Thought you’d found Narnia in here.” Jay laughed.

“Oh er…nah. Stu just phoned me. Wanted to say congrats ‘n that.” Callum shuffled awkwardly. “So, yer wanna head to E20 after this?”

“Sure. You wanna go out there and tell the girls? I’ll meet ya out there in a bit.”

“Sure.”

The night was getting colder as Jay, Lola, Callum and Whitney headed over to the E20. Callum wrapped an arm around Whitney and pulled her closer to himself.

“Hey are ya getting’ cold?” He questioned her when he saw her wrap her arms around herself.

“Aw Callum. You’re too sweet you are.” She smiled at him. “I am a little, but its nothing a couple of Vodka and Tonics won’t shake off.” She laughed, her eyes twinkling in the streetlights.

“Well I’ll get in the first round.” Callum turned his head to Jay. “Hey, I’ll get the first-round in. You spent way too much at the pub.”

“Hey, had to get those celebratory drinks in, didn’t I?” Jay grinned back at Callum.

They eventually arrived and the girls and Jay found a table as Callum made his way to the bar. He was just placing an order for drinks, when he felt someone sidle up to him and grope his ass. He quickly spun around and found Ben standing there, grinning drunkenly at him.

“Ben. Don’t.” Callum glanced around worried that someone had just seen what Ben did.

“Relax will ya. It’s dark in here. Don’t worry, no one saw.” He mocked him. “But if ya want to go somewhere really dark. I know this great gay club a few streets from here…that has—”

Callum opened his mouth to cut Ben off, but Ben quickly placed a finger to his lips to shhh him.

“That has a great little dark room out back.” He smirked when he saw Callum’s puzzled face. “Ohhh you really are a ‘baby gay’ ain’t ya.” Ben laughed.

“Dark room? Baby Gay? Ben how much ‘ave ya had ta drink?”

“Not enough, but that’s besides the point. Ya see, a dark room.” He lent in to whisper in Callum’s ear. “A dark room, is a private dark room at the back of a gay club where people can go hook up an’ do anythin’ else that takes their fancy...” He ran a hand down Callum’s shirt.

Callum just froze there, dumbfounded.

“Sorry…does it make ya uncomfortable? Me talking about sleepin’ wiv men?” Ben frowned at Callum.

“No…no I-I mean…”

Callum was saved luckily by Jay walking over to them.

“Ben! I thought you’d got lost?” Jay wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Nah…ya know me bro. Just like ta be a lone wolf an’ that.”

They got their drinks and made their way over to the girls who was sat talking amongst themselves. Callum passed Whitney her Gin and Tonic.

“Thanks babe.” She moved up to allow him to come and sit next to her. Jay took a seat next to Lola and Ben sat next to Jay. “Lola just came up wiv a great idea about food, that I’d never even thought of!” Whitney exclaimed.

Callum looked at her. “Food?”

“Yeah for the wedding!”

“Oh!”

“She came up wiv this great idea that we should like…have like main dishes, but famous British ones. Ya know, like Coronation Chicken, an’…”

“I dunno Whit. I think Callum’s more of a meat and two veg, type of guy.” Ben told her innocently, keeping a completely straight face. He slipped Callum a sly wink.

Callum was just about to take a sip of his pint, when he heard Ben make this comment, and full on choked on his pint, spluttering it all down himself. Whitney had to slap him on the back to prevent him from choking.

Jay and Lola simultaneously let out a snigger and Ben raised his hands in mock defence.


	24. 1000 Forms of Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its taken me so long to post this. I've just been really uninspired as of late.  
Hoping with what's about to go on with The Boys on Thursday, it will give me some inspiration and ideas.

Ben had been riling Callum up all evening; ever since the ‘meat and two veg’ comment he had passed earlier in the evening, after Whitney had been discussing wedding food with Lola.

Callum had been doing his best to ignore the jibes and jests that were constantly thrown his way, but it was really starting to grate on him now.

He suddenly stood up and made an excuse to go and get in another round of drinks for himself and Whitney, but mainly to remove himself from the situation with Ben before he did something, he doubted he would later regret. Nonetheless, he knew Whitney wouldn’t be impressed with him if he allowed that to happen.

“Same again yeah?” Ben shouted across to him, turning away from talking to Jay and pointing down at his now empty pint glass that was sat on the table.

He saw Callum’s jaw tighten and smirked to himself. 

Callum pushed through the mass of people; finding himself a spot at the bar, when he caught a glimpse of Ben out of the corner of his eye; making his way to the bathroom. He suddenly pushed himself away from the bar and stalked quickly after Ben, placing a hand on his shoulder and yanking him round to face himself.

Ben lowered his balled-up fist once he realised who it was, his features softening.

“You. Me. Outside. Now.” Callum told him firmly.

He saw Ben lean back from him and cock an eyebrow. “Ohhhh. Well this is a turn up for the books. Callum assertin’ ‘imself for a change, instead of makin’ me run around doin’ all the hard work.” He folded his arms and looked intently at Callum.

“Look Ben. Just do as I say for once.”

“Alright, alright!” He put his hands up.

Callum didn’t reply, but turned his back on Ben and walked outside to the Smoking Area and found a quiet spot away from everyone else. He waited for Ben to catch up with him, before making him sit on a small, low, brick wall that was there, to face him.

He stood before Ben; looming over him. Although he knew there was no way that Ben Mitchell could ever be intimidated by him, but it made him feel powerful and in charge for once, nonetheless.

“What is yer problem?!” Callum demanded looking down at him, crossly.

“My problem?” Ben laughed, bemused.

“Well I’m glad you find it funny.”

“It’s just a bit of friendly banter between ‘two mates’ as far as I see it.”

“Don’t twist my words Ben. You came onto me! You-you started…this.” Callum gestured with his hand trying to find the right words for what was going on between the two off them, before thrusting a finger into Ben’s chest to emphasise his point.

“That’s not how I remember it!” Ben exclaimed, raising from the wall he had been sat on and coming to stand within inches of Callum’s face.

Callum took a step back.

“Don’t care how ya remember it. That’s how it is.” He firmly told Ben.

“By the way, I meant to say…” Ben took a step forward to bring himself level again with Callum. He could see the nervousness taking over in Callum’s eyes. “Your missus looks particularly happy today. I wonder what got yer going enough to put a spring in her step.”

“For fucksake Ben!” Callum lunged at Ben and decked him one.

Everyone in the outside Smoking Area turned to see what all the commotion was about.

“Ooooh.!” Someone yelled as Ben went flying back over the low brick wall, with just his legs poking out, draped over it.

Billy came rushing outside after someone had come into the bar, telling him there was a fight going on out back in the Smoking Area.

“What the?” He pushed his way past everyone and found Callum stood there, looking down at his bloody fist, frozen to the spot and a pair of legs poking out from over the brick wall. Motionless. He walked over to Callum.

“What the hell happened? And why have ya got a bloody fist Callum? Oh God ya didn’t did ya?!” He exclaimed when he realised it was Ben who was slumped over the wall. He raised both hands and rested them on top of his head exasperated, unsure as to what to do.

Callum moved his other hand up to cradle his bloody fist before quickly turning heel and running back inside. He ran over to the table where Whitney was sat still chatting to Jay and Lola, and saw that Lou had joined them.

“Where’s my drink!?” Whitney exclaimed when she saw him coming back empty handed.

“Er…erm…Whit we’re going.”

“What? Why? We just got here. Where’s my drink you said you’d get me?” She looked at him intently.

“No. Whit, seriously. I-I don’t feel too good.” He reached past her and picked her coat up for her.

“Is that’s where you’ve been all this time?”

“Huh?” Callum questioned.

“In the toilets?” Whitney’s expression relaxed a little.

“Oh…er…yeah…yeah. Must have been some of that dodgy booze Mick had told me they got in earlier. I-I need to go for a lie down.”

He could see Jay looking at his fist out of the corner of his eye and quickly shoved his hand in his pocket to hide it.

“Where’s Ben?” Lola suddenly asked.

Callum flinched at the mention of his name, before closing his eyes and letting out a quick breath to try and relax himself. He shrugged.

“Dunno Lo. Probably pulled an’ went off to Ian’s with his new catch.”

Lola wrinkled her nose at the thought. “Ergh I hope not. Not really the first thing I want ta encounter when get back.”

“S’all right. You can stay at mine.” Jay laughed. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug.

“Don’t really want Lexi’s mind to be polluted wiv all those goin’s on neither. I’m gonna ‘ave to ‘ave a word with ‘im.”

“Whit!” Callum told her, raising his eyebrows, almost hopping from foot to foot.

“Ok! Ok!” She told him, before turning to look at the others. “I’m sorry about this yeah? Ya know what he’s like” She rolled her eyes. “Next time, come round ours.” She smiled.

“Don’t worry, we’ve all been there…” Jay replied giving Callum a suspicious look.

“Hope ya feel better soon Cal.” Lou told him.

“Yeah. Feel better soon. If ya happen ta see Ben. Tell him he’s not ta bring any blokes round Ian’s or I’ll ‘avin’ words wiv ‘im.” Lola told them both.

Whitney laughed. “Will do!”

“You better not give it ta me.” Whitney told Callum as they walked briskly back to the flat. She hurried along her pace to catch up with him; downside to dating someone with extraordinarily long legs.

Callum took his phone out for the sixth time in 10 minutes and glanced down at the screen, the luminosity illuminating his features in a pale blue glow. He rammed it back in his trouser pocket.

“Callum! Callum are you even listenin’ ta me?” Whitney told him, raising her voice, frustrated. She caught up to him and pulled at his sleeve. “What is wrong with you?” She questioned him, voice slightly softening. She pulled him to stop him walking off and turned him to face herself.

“Nothin’s wrong wiv me.” He responded to her; a little too quickly and made to turn back around again and carry on walking, but Whitney stopped him again.

“Thought ya said ya were ill?” She looked intently at him with her pale grey eyes.

He pulled his phone out again to quickly check it.

“An’ why do ya keep checkin’ yer phone? ‘Ave ya done somethin’? Is it Ben? What’s he done now? He better not ‘ave gotchya caught up in anymore dodgy business. If he has, wait till I see ‘im next, I’ll—” She was cut off from her rant by her phone suddenly ringing.

Callum’s phone made a noise at the same time to signify a new message. He quickly looked at the screen.

_1 message- Jay_

Callum swallowed down a nervous lump in his throat and hovered his thumb over the home button to slide it open and read the message. He had just about summoned up the courage to read the text when he heard Whitney yell.“HE’S IN HOSPITAL!”

The sudden remark caused Callum to jump and drop his phone. Right into a puddle. “Whit!” Callum exclaimed, looking down at his phone now floating in the puddle at his feet. He crouched down to pick it up and saw that the screen was now cracked. He shook it to get the excess water off and out of it.

“Ben’s in hospital.” Whitney turned to tell him. “Apparently he was knocked out cold at the club.”

Callum’s face drained completely of colour, he chewed this bottom lip and started to sweat nervously. “Is…” He cleared his throat. “I-is he OK?”

“I-I dunno. Jay and Lola are at the hospital now. Billy went wiv ‘em. They’re tryin’ to get a hold of Phil at the moment.”

Callum’s adrenaline went into hyperdrive after he heard Whitney say she ‘didn’t know’, when he had asked how Ben was.

What if he had killed him? What if he never woke up? What if he was brain damaged? What if Phil found out it was him?

He could feel his throat tightening, his breathing increasing, his pulse quickening, and knew he was in the midst of a panic attack.

He felt like a fish out of water. He was trying to breathe, but no air was getting in, and the deeper he tried to suck in air, the more it felt like he was drowning, and all of this was his doing.

The pressure in his head was mounting and he literally felt like it was going to explode. Spots were forming before his eyes and before he knew it, he was falling…

Down

Down

Down…

He could hear voices, but they seemed to distant. He was trying to reach them, but it was like swimming against in an unrelenting riptide. The current catching him, and dragging him back into its murky depths.

Suddenly, the voices became clearer and the heavy weight that had seemed so overbearing started to feel as though it was residing. His eyelids felt lighter, but it was bright. So bright. It was excruciating to crack his eyes open even a centimetre.

He took a deep breath and forced his eyes to open.

“Callum? CALLUM! He’s awake!” Someone shouted. The sound reverberated inside his skull like 10,000 jackhammers and he winced.

“Cal?” He heard a female voice question and felt his hand being grabbed at.

“Mum?” He questioned. His voice cracking a little.

“Hey you. No Cal, it’s me Whitney. How are you feelin’? You ‘ad a panic attack. Scared me to death. I thought ya ‘ad a heart attack. You went completely white, started gasping for air an’ collapsed. Do ya remember anythin’ from before?” She lent over him, brushing hair from his face before leaning down to kiss his forehead.

Ben’s face flashed into his memory. Swollen and bruised, before it was sucked away from him as quickly as it appeared, but his words lingered on afterwards. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to out ya. I’ve been there before, I know what it’s like, how it feels…” The voice was getting fainter and fainter, until it was barely a whisper. “I-I wouldn’t wish that on anyone…”

“BEN!” He shouted, loudly.

“Ben’s here. He’s in the same hospital. Jay just messaged me an’ told me he’s awake.” Whitney told him, frowning with concern.

“Where is he?” Callum fought to sit up. “I need ta see ‘im!”

“Callum ya need ta rest. Look ya gonna pull ya drip out. Please, just lie back!” Whitney begged him.

“But—.”

He was quickly cut off by a nurse coming in and checking his observations. “Sir. Your heartrate is increasing. I strongly advice to take some deep breaths and to try and relax.”

“Callum please! Listen ta her.” Whitney grabbed his hand and stroked the back of his hand to try and sooth him.

“But- but… I DID IT! I DID THIS TO HIM!” Callum suddenly yelled before passing out again.


	25. If Walls Could Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had really good fun writing this chapter. I hope you guys have just as much fun reading it. 😂

“I just got a text from Whit. Callum’s in the hospital too.” Jay told Lola, turning to face her with his phone in his hand.

They were both at the hospital, in a side room on Resus Ward with Ben, after Jay had received a frantic call from Billy, telling him that he had just found Ben knocked out in the Smoking Area of the E20. Jay and Lola had both rushed out the back and found a huge crowd had gathered around a low brick wall.

Jay had fought his way through the crowd; Lola grabbing onto his hand, followed closely behind. They found Billy hunched over a figure they recognised as Ben. He was shaking him, and slapping his face lightly to try and waken him.

“What the ‘ell ‘appened!” Jay had exclaimed, looking at Billy.

“I dunno. Someone came runnin’ in sayin’ there’d been a fight outside. So, I rushed out and Callum was stood ‘ere white as a ghost, jus’ lookin’ down at ‘im. Then-then he jus’ ran off…”

“Callum’s here as well? Lola exclaimed, turning from watching Ben sleeping peacefully.

Moments before, they had both been sat there, waiting on tenterhooks, watching with baited breath to see he would ever open his eyes again.

“Apparently.”

“Where? Why? What’s ‘appened to ‘im?”

“Dunno. I tried callin’ her back. But went straight ta voicemail.” Jay shrugged.

“D’ya think we should try and find out which ward he’s on?”

“I guess we could. I-I mean Ben’s stable now. For now, anyway. I-I need ta try callin’ Phil again. Need ta let ‘im know about Ben. Unless Billy got ta ‘im first.”

“Ok. Well you go phone ‘im and I’ll go try and find out where Callum is.” Lola told Jay, kissing him on the cheek. “Guess I better phone Kathy too, I mean Ben’s her son after all, and ta check on Lexi.” She rubbed his arm reassuringly.

He gave her a small smile and she left the room.

“Callum’s here too?” A small croaky voice questioned Jay, bringing him to his senses. He moved his gaze from his phone screen to the direction in which the voice had come from.

Ben was awake; albeit still very groggy and tired. He managed a weak smile.

“Oh ya ‘erd that did ya?” Jay questioned him.

“Some of it.” He tried to pull himself further up the bed, but winced in doing so.

“Here, let me ‘elp ya.” Jay shoved his phone into his trouser pocket and walked over to Ben, to help shift him further up and rearrange his pillows.

“Jay. I need ta see ‘im.” Ben told him, suddenly reaching out and grabbing his arm, looking at him intently.

Jay paused in his actions and looked down at Ben before frowning. “No Ben. What you need ta be doin’ is restin’. You was out cold when we saw ya earlier. Ya should ‘ave seen poor Lola! In pieces she was. She thought you was dead Ben. She was terrified Lexi was no longer ‘ave her dad.”

“Well I’m ‘ere now ain’t I?” Ben shrugged, then winced. “And I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

Jay raised an eyebrow at him.

“Jay, I need ta see ‘im.”

“Lola’s gone ta find out where he is. We dunno. Whit jus’ text me. I need ta phone Phil ta let ‘im know yer here.” He made to reach into his pocket and take out his phone.

“No, Jay don’t.” He licked his lips which were dry from the pipe he’d had down his throat earlier. “I don’t want ya botherin’ ‘im. He wouldn’t care anyway. He’s clearly made ‘is choice over there, playin’ ‘appy Families with Louise and Keanu.” He mumbled, then reached out, trying to grasp the mug of water that was set on his side table. He knocked it with his hand, causing it to tip over and water to cascade onto floor. He grunted in annoyance.

“Here. Let me.” Jay told him, snatching up a load of paper towels and mopping up the water, before pouring him another mugful from the jug of water and passing the mug to him. He perched himself at the end of Ben’s bed, before quietly asking, ‘Did Callum do this to ya?”

Ben sighed and rested his head back against the pillow. He had a bandage wrapped around his head, from when he had fallen off the wall and banged the back of his head and had to have stitches, a cut eyebrow, a black eye that was badly swollen shut and a split lip.

“Well he’s done a good job of things, that’s for sure. Ya probably ain’t even seen yerself yet, ‘ave ya?”

Ben didn’t reply.

“Ben…he-he didn’t do this coz, y’know. Yer gay?” Jay questioned him quietly.

“No!” Ben shouted. “No…it’s nothin’ to do wiv that.” He lowered his voice, before looking down and picked at his thumb.

Jay reached out and yanked his hand away. “Don’t do that you’ll make it bleed.” He told him.

“Callum told me that as well.” He mumbled to no one in particular.

Jay frowned, his eyebrows turning inward and nearly meeting. “Ben. Ya know ya can talk to me about anythin’. Yer basically my brother yeah?”

Again, Ben didn’t reply.

“‘ave yer got feelin’s for ‘im?” He suddenly questioned him.

A third time Ben was quiet…before finally relenting to the silence and opening his mouth…

“He’s on the Respiratory Ward.” Lola told Jay as walked back into Ben’s room. She suddenly realised Ben was awake again, “Oh sorry, did I interrupt something?” She questioned when she saw Jay sat on Ben’s bed.

Ben looked down at his hands again, “Nah, s’all right. We weren’t talkin’ bought nothin’ in particular.”

Jay frowned at him.

“OK. Well I’m glad yer awake again.” She smiled at Ben.

Ben looked up and gave her a small smile back.

“I just saw Whit. She’s worried sick about Callum. Apparently, he had a panic attack in the street when they was walkin’ back from the club earlier, passed out cold. So, she called ‘im an ambulance and they brought ‘im here.” She came and sat down on the chair at the side of Ben’s bed. Both men turned to look at her.

“I-is he OK?” Ben asked her.

“Fink so. Apparently when he woke up, he was shouting out your name Ben?” She looked at him puzzled. Jay shot Ben a look. Ben caught him looking at him out of the corner of his eye. “Got in a right state and he blacked out again.”

“H-he was callin’ my name?” Ben asked her puzzled.

“Yeah.”

“Oh-oh right. Can-can I go see ‘im?”

“I-I dunno Ben. Yer probably better off askin’ the nurses. Whit said he’s pretty tired.”

Ben had been given the OK to go and visit Callum on the Respiratory Ward for ‘no more than 30 minutes’ to which he had rolled his eyes.

Jay and Lola had found him a wheelchair and had bundled him into it, before wheeling him into the lift.  
  
“You’d think wiv all that money they invest in these places, they’d have invented a faster lift by now.” Ben tutted.

Lola elbowed Jay in the ribs and he looked at her. “He’s feelin’ better.” She grinned.

Jay swallowed and laughed a small laugh.

“What you two talkin’ about?” Ben questioned, narrowing his eyes. He could see Jay and Lola reflected in the mirror opposite.

“Jus’ tellin’ Jay that there doesn’t seem ta be anythin’ wrong wiv ya.” She chuckled.

Ben looked puzzled.

“Ya moaning again Ben.”

“What? I don’t moan…well not always.”

The lift pinged to signal the arrival of their requested floor and the door slowly slid open to reveal yet another endless maze of lightly green painted corridors.

“He’s on Frome Ward.” Lola pointed towards a sign.

Eventually, after what seemed like hours, they found Frome Ward and a nurse directed them to Callum’s room. They could see Whitney sat by his bedside, his hand in hers and gently stroking it. Callum had his eyes shut and Jay could tell from the bags under them that he must be exhausted. He was also deathly pale. More so than usual.

Lola knocked quietly on the door. Whitney looked up and away from Callum’s bed, before managing a small, tired smile at her.

“Look who I found?” Lola told her. Jay appeared next to her side with Ben in a wheelchair.

“How’s he doin’?” Jay questioned.

“He’s just exhausted at the moment. But stable.”

“Fink we all are. Ben wanted ta see ‘im. Is that ok? Nurse said he was only allowed 30 minutes wiv ‘im.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah-yeah. I should fink that should be fine. Glad yer OK Ben. Lola ‘ad jus told me what had happened when, well… all this ‘appened.” She gestured her head towards Callum lying there in his bed, hooked up to endless wires and machines.

Jay suddenly thought on his feet. “Hey, Whit you look knackered. Why don’t we all go get a coffee yeah? Fink wiv this one being confined to a wheelchair; things should be civil and no blood will be shed.” He nodded down at Ben.

Lola looked at Jay.

“Yeah-yeah that would be nice. Thanks.”

“If anythin’ happens we’ll be right back.”

“Sure.” She stood up from the chair and walked over to the three of them, smiling down at Ben before walking out into the corridor.

Jay wheeled Ben over to the side of Callum’s bed. “You’ll be OK here wont ya? We’ll be back in 30.”

Ben gave Jay a small nod, before Jay turned and walked out.

“Catch ya in a bit yeah.” Lola told him.

Ben sat there looking at the tall man lying before him in the hospital bed. He looked so fragile, yet peaceful at the same time. His long eyelashes gently grazing his cheeks. Ben suddenly felt a tear set itself loose and clear a path down his cheek to splash onto his hospital gown.

The last time he had been in a hospital was after he and Paul had been beaten up after walking home after that fateful night out uptown. His brain was currently going into hyperdrive and sending painful flashbacks before his eyes like a horror movie.

Those painful memories from so long ago now, were being dredged back up to the surface. No matter how hard he thought about other things, he just couldn’t quite push them back down again, so they lay there bubbling under the surface as a constant reminder.

One constant reminder he had been able to deal with though; was the tattoo that he and Paul had got done together, the day they had finally made things official. They had both had the first letter of one another’s first names tattooed on their ring finger. He the letter ‘P’ and Paul the letter ‘B’.

They both knew as soon as they had met that they were destined to be together. Ben had known as soon as he had first set eyes on the curly-haired man. And that was the way it was going to be…until…’the incident’ happened.

It had been too painful of a reminder to look down and constantly see that black ‘P’ etched permanently onto his finger, glaring back at him, in the place where he had once hoped that sometime in the future; His and Paul’s future, a gold ring would sit.

It was on another of the endless lonely nights’ that he had spent locked up in prison, that he had finally summoned up the courage to remove it. He knew Tubbs had stashed a lighter away in the light fitting in their cell; as technically smoking was considered ‘contraband’, but everyone did it anyway, along with dabbling in the stronger stuff; something he knew better than to touch.

The pain had been excruciating as the lighter flame had danced over the black ‘P’, but he knew it wasn’t anything he didn’t deserve. If only he had managed to keep his quick mouth shut. Then he and Paul would have been able to get married somewhere along the line and lived happily ever after. Just like in the fairy-tales. But this wasn’t a fairy-tale. It was real life and a never-ending horror story and he knew the tattoo had to go if he wanted any chance of regaining his sanity.

“B-Ben?” A small voice whispered.

Ben quickly snapped his gaze away from resuming picking at the hangnail he had been digging at earlier. He knew if Callum saw, he’d be cross at him, because yes, he had made it bleed.

Callum rolled over slightly in his hospital bed to see who was sat by the side of the bed, and found Ben there in his wheelchair, complete with hospital gown and drip stand.

Ben saw Callum’s eyes widen when he took in his appearance.

“Don’t worry. It’s backless, I already found that out, you know; in case you wanted easy access.” Ben chuckled quietly. He saw a small smile form on Callum’s face, before his eyebrows started to knit together with concern.

“Ben! You shouldn’t joke about it. I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t mean…I didn’t mean ta hurt ya like this. Does-does it hurt?” Callum asked him softly.

“Well if ya enjoy the feelin’ of being hit over the head wiv a brick every time ya move. An’ it feelin’ like ya brains about ta explode out ya head every time ya speak; yeah I’d say it hurts. But ya know me.” He shrugged. “I find it hard ta be sincere.”

“I was so worried about ya when Lola phoned Whit. I-I fought I’d killed ya!”

“Bet ya would have loved that?” Ben gritted his teeth.

Callum didn’t reply, but looked at him sincerely.

“Did ya get to wear the paper pants?” Ben changed the subject and grinned at him. “Or try out the cardboard slippers yet?”

“Cardboard slippers? Paper pants? Ya sure ya not still on the morphine Ben?” Callum looked at him totally lost.

Ben suddenly reached to the bottom of his gown and began to lift it up.

“BEN!” Callum exclaimed. His heart monitor started beeping as his heartrate increased.

“Relax will ya! Yer gonna break that machine if ya not careful!” Ben told him laughing. He quickly flashed Callum the disposable paper underwear he had been made to wear, then smirked at him.

“What on earth do ya ‘ave ta wear that for?” Callum questioned.

“Had ta go in for surgery to stitch up a cut on my head.”

Callum swallowed slowly. “What are the cardboard slippers you were talkin’ about?”

Ben grinned, then leant forward; wincing. He reached under Callum’s hospital bed and pulled out what looked like a papier-mâché vase, and held it in his hand. Ben could tell from Callum’s face that he still hadn’t clocked onto what it was.

“It’s ta piss in Callum.” Ben grinned. “If ya can’t get out of bed ta make it ta the bog, ya get one of these ta go in.”

“Ewwww! Put it away!”

“Y’know. This really is ‘hashtag relationship goals’ right now. Us both sat here in hospital gowns, with paper underwear, talking about cardboard piss bottles. Y’know… I’ll show ya mine if you show me yours.” He winked at Callum.

“Stop it!” Callum laughed, slapping Ben on the arm and then wincing with pain. He shifted to lie back on his bed, but turned his head still to face Ben.

Callum smiled at him; before gently sliding his hand down Ben’s arm, to rest it on the back of his hand, before linking fingers with it and squeezing his hand tightly.

A sudden warmth flowed from Ben’s hand, up his own arm, across his chest and stopped to envelop his heart.


	26. Fight Fire With Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****WARNING****  

> 
> **There is some homophobia in this chapter. So if this hits a little too close to home for you and you feel triggered by it, it's probably best to skip this chapter. 
> 
> However, it does only come in at the very end.
> 
> My apologies, but we all know what Jonno is like**

It had been a week since he had been discharged from hospital after he had been knocked out by Callum punching him, and although Ben had forgiven Callum for it, he knew that Billy had known what had really happened and footage of the incident unfurling frame-by-frame, would be recorded on the E20 CCTV.

He had already made up his mind that if the fuzz were called about it, he wouldn’t press charges against Callum. How could he? He saw how much Callum had regretted his actions. Christ the poor bloke looked like he was going to have a full-on meltdown about it, there and then right in front of him. Plus, it wouldn’t bode well for the Mitchell Empire to have the Old Bill sniffing around.

Ben came trotting downstairs after the smell of cooked bacon became too much for him to resist the temptation of staying in his pit all day. Besides, he didn’t want Ian on his case again, like he was; Every. Single. Day. Of. The. Week.

He raced into the kitchen in just his black boxers; dressing gown undone and billowing behind him, skidding across the linoleum floor. Bobby was in the kitchen buttering some toast. He nodded his head in acknowledgement towards Ben, before resuming the buttering of his toast.

“Ben!” Kathy yelled to him from where she was sat in the Living Room; papers and a notepad strew about her.

“Yes mother. You called?” He appeared, swinging around the kitchen doorway holding onto it with one hand, the other holding a piece of bacon.

“I-I need yer help with somethin’ if it’s not too much trouble.” She looked up and saw him there before scowling at him. “Go-go put some clothes on first will ya? I’m sure Bobby doesn’t want ta be getting an eyeful this early in the morning. None of us do.” She shooed him away.

Ben rolled his eyes at her. “Well that’s just charmin’ isn’t it? Wants my help then, tells me ta clear off.” He laughed, before making his way back upstairs, bacon still in hand.

“Uh! PUT THAT ON A PLATE WILL YA!” She shouted after him as he ran upstairs. Before sighing to herself. “Please tell me he’ll grow out of it, Bobby?” Kathy asked as he came into the lounge with his toast on a plate.

About an hour later Ben manifested in the lounge, avec a la chemise.

“Right! Now yer here and lookin’ more presentable—.” Kathy started.

“When am I never not presentable?!” Ben questioned, vaulting over the arm of the sofa.

“I wish yer wouldn’t—” He landed with a thud on the sofa next to her. “do that Ben. If Ian found out…”

“What Ian doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Ben winked at her. Kathy shook her head “Now how can I help ya mum?”

“What am I going to do with you?”

Ben grinned before leaning forward and swiping a mug of tea that was on the coffee table in front of him and taking a sip. He lent back into the sofa and put his feet up on the coffee table crossing his legs at the ankles.

“Erm…that was mine.” Bobby mumbled looking across from the chair he was sat in eating his toast.

“Oh. Sorry Bobby. Just saw it there and y’know? Hope ya don’t mind?”

“No…it’s fine. Go ahead. I’ll go and make another one.” He set his plate down on the table and got up, making his way back into the kitchen.

“I need ya help. Ya know Pride is this week and I bought that bar off Victoria Square. I want ta open it as a gay bar in Walford.”

“The Prince Albert?”

“Yeah. I-I need yer help wiv ideas for The Prince Albert launch party Ben. Tina’s given me a few suggestions, but I wanted get your opinion too. Whitney’s helpin’ out with some of the decorations, she’s getting’ some t-shirts printed and stuff—.”

“Oh ‘as she now?” Ben smirked. Kathy didn’t see. “Whose she gonna get modellin’ them then? Callum.” He laughed.

“No idea, you’ll ‘ave ta ask her. Tina’s bringin’ over decorations on Friday. I-I was wonderin’—”

“If I could be there, to ‘elp out ‘an all that stuff?” He lowered his feet from the table and took another swig of Bobby’s tea.

“Oh, please Ben. It would mean a lot ta me. I’d only want ya there for a couple hours, just to greet ‘n ‘and help out at the bar, servin’ drinks.”

“An’ what’s in it for me?” He questioned, rubbing an eye.

“Well, I’m sure there will be one or two young men there, who may catch ya eye.”

Ben raised an eyebrow at this comment. “To be honest, I’m not lookin’ at blokes for the moment. I’ve been seein’ someone.” He reached into his pocket as he felt his phone vibrate and pulled it out.

“Oh right.” Kathy grinned. “What’s he like?” Her face changed to one of concern. “He wasn’t the one who put ya in hospital, was he?” She set the pen she had been holding, down, and placed her hands in her lap and shifted her body to face Ben.

Ben was busy looking down at his phone, before starting to reply to the text he’d just received. “Things did get a bit rough with me and this bloke, if yer askin’.” He looked up at Kathy before continuing “Good wiv his fists, he is…” He slid his phone back into his pocket, “Still, gives me a bit of an edge.” He shrugged and grinned.

“Ya know ya can talk to me Ben, about anythin’ I’m yer mum after all.” Kathy told him softly, clearly worried for him.

“I know. Right.” He slapped his thighs with his hands and made to stand up, “best get back ta business. Cars won’t sell themselves.”

“Ben, what about The Albert?”

“Relax will ya. I’ll be there. Don’t worry.” He smiled down at Kathy, before leaning down to give her a kiss on the cheek.

Kathy smiled back at him

He grabbed his coat from the back the sofa where he had dumped it from last night and started to pull it on, making his way to the kitchen doorway. Bobby was just making his way back into the Sitting Room again with a new mug of tea and some more toast.

Ben snagged a piece as he went past and bit into it. Holding it in his mouth he managed to slide his other coat sleeve on over his arm. Bobby turned and looked after him, as Ben headed to the front door closing it with a bang.

Ben made his way over to Coaker and Mitchell. The text he had just received was from Callum. All it had said was:

_“Did ya call the coppers on me?”_

To which Ben had replied:

_“Be round to Coakers in 5. Helping mum wiv her opening for The Prince Albert. Fancy pitchin’ in ta help? _ 😉_”_

Ben hadn’t received a response, so presumed that Whitney was with him. Ben knew that Callum would never ignore him; he couldn’t.

He pushed open the door to Coakers and found Jay there arranging papers for the funerals they had in the upcoming month. He looked up when he heard the door open.

“With the number of times ya pop in round here, anyone would fink yer were after a job or somethin’?” He questioned Ben smiling. “If yer lookin’ for Callum he’s upstairs—.”

“Cheers Jay.” Ben made his way over to the door to the upstairs flat.

“—with Whit.” Jay finished. He saw Ben’s hand hesitate on the doorknob, before then seeing him nod at himself and twisting the handle. He heard Ben’s slow, steady steps making their way upstairs, before a faint knock on the front door to the flat and muffled voices.

Whitney opened the door to Ben. “You’re lookin’ better from the last time I saw ya.” She smiled at Ben.

“Yeah…well.” Ben ran a hand round his mouth. “Callum about?”

“Yeah he’s just doin’ the washin’ up. Anythin’ ta get out of helpin’ me wiv seatin’ arrangements.” She laughed, before stepping aside for him to come in.

Ben walked through to the kitchen and found Callum up to his arms in soapsuds with Whitney’s Marigolds on.

“Well I wasn’t expectin’ ta see this. Got yerself a proper little domestic God here Whit!” Ben exclaimed, shouting through to Whitney who was sat in the Living Room, still mulling over seating arrangements for the wedding. He slipped his hands into his trouser pockets and stood back to watch Callum.

Callum scowled at Ben, before removing his hands from the sink and struggled to remove the gloves from his hands.

“Need a hand? Those rubber gloves can be a bit tight.” Ben winked at Callum, whilst looking the taller man up and down, taking in his lanky frame.

Just as he said this, Callum finally got the last glove off, and as he did so, some of the soapsuds flicked off and hit Ben in the face.

“Cheers Callum.” Ben told him sarcastically, wiping some of the suds from his eye with a finger.

“S’all right.” Callum shrugged, before setting the gloves down and leaning back to brace himself against the countertop. “So…Let’s get things straight—.” He moved to cross his arms defensively across his chest and looked across at Ben.

“Unfortunate turn of phrase, but carry on.” Ben looked down and chuckled to himself, shifting his feet. He resumed his gaze to Callum and saw Callum flush as he said this, before clearing his throat to resume what he had to say.

“You called the Old Bill on me for what ‘appened to ya the other night? I thought ya thought more of me than that Ben.” Callum narrowed his eyes.

Ben slowly replied. “Firstly, no-no I didn’t call the rozzers on ya. Secondly, you think I want them sniffin’ around me, what wiv my Old Man being around? Ya think I have a death wish Callum?” He laughed. “Thirdly,” Ben walked over to Callum and placed both of his hands on Callum’s chest and looked up at him, “I do think more of you than that Callum, much more.” Ben told him, his voice softening.

Callum looked over the top of Ben’s head in the direction of the Sitting Room, panicking slightly that Whitney might catch the two of them in the intimate embrace.

“Ya know I didn’t mean ta hit ya that ‘ard. Ya just have a way of winding me up sometimes.” Callum replied to Ben, his voice low.

“Oh I ‘ave, ‘ave I?” Ben grinned up at Callum.

Callum looked down at Ben and Ben saw his eyes soften.

“I’ll tell ya though, my Old Man would be impressed wiv that right-hook of yours.” Ben ran his hands down Callum’s chest.

“Yeah…well it won’t be ‘appening again.” Callum mumbled rubbing his chin.

“What won’t be ‘appening again?” Whitney questioned suddenly walking into the kitchen, then looking from Callum to Ben and back to Callum again.

Callum was looking flustered and Ben could see that so he stepped in first. “Callum, was jus’ appologisin’ ta me for punchin’ me the other day.”

He saw Callum’s eyes fly open.

“He fought I was the one who called the Coppers on him earlier.”

Whitney turned to look at Callum, open mouthed. “CALLUM!” She exclaimed.

Callum shoved a hand in his pocket and rubbed the back of his neck clearly embarrassed.

“So, it was you who put Ben in hospital? Why? What did he do to ya? What’s gotten into ya!” She snapped at Callum

Callum opened his mouth to say something, but Ben jumped in again.

“It doesn’t matter, I’ve forgiven ‘im. Besides he’s said he’d volunteer ta help out wiv the bar for the openin’ of The Prince Albert on Friday for Pride, ta make up for it. Didn’t ya Callum?”

“WHAT! I-I...” Callum exclaimed, then glared at Ben who was standing behind Whitney, who nodded his head towards her. “Well…yeah. I-I said I’d stay for a bit…” He mumbled.

“Aw Cal! That’s so sweet of ya.” She reached out and cupped Callum’s face in her hand and pulled it to herself, giving him a kiss. Callum looked at Ben out of the corner of his eye and saw his lips thin. “Can ya tell Kathy, that I ‘ave some Pride shirts comin’ for her for Friday. I’m jus’ waitin’ for them to be printed.”

“Noted.” Ben nodded.

“I actually came in here to look for those post-it notes I bought the other day. ‘Ave ya seen ‘em?” She looked at Callum. “Currently I ‘ave Shirl sat next ta Ian, and Phil next ta Jack and the last thing I want is yet more blood bein’ shed. No offence Ben.”

“None taken.”

Whitney started rummaging around for the post-it notes before exclaiming, “AH!” She grinned, kissed Callum on the cheek and walked back out again.

“If you didn’t call the coppers, Ben. Then who did? Because I very much had two of ‘em here this morning, bangin’ on the front door; makin’ enough row to wake up ‘alf The Square. Certainly, disturbed Big Mo enough to start screamin’ bloody murder out a window in The Slater house’old anyway.”

“I don’t know Callum. I’m guessin’ it maybe Billy.”

“What!”

“Well they have all them cameras out back ‘an everythin’ don’t they?” He saw Callum’s face go white. “Relax. I’ll ‘ave a word wiv ‘im. Tell ‘im it was a misunderstandin’ an’ that.” He linked the little finger on his right hand with Callum’s left and swung his arm gently, absentmindedly.

“Well I ‘ain’t goin’ ta jail over somehtin’ you ain’t even bothered about.”

“I’ll ‘ave word. Don’t worry.” He smiled up at Callum, who smiled a small one down at him. “RIGHT!” Ben suddenly exclaimed. “I dunno about you but my mouths as dry as a nun’s—

“Yeah, alright Ben.” Callum tutted at him for the profanity that was about to slip out of the shorter man’s mouth. “Ya best not be usin’ those choice words ‘round Lexi.”

Ben laughed. “Got a bit of a mouth on ‘er ain’t she? She’s turnin’ into a right little madam. I’ll ‘ave to be ‘avin words wiv Lola about that. By the way, she told me the other day about yours and her secret.”

Callum looked puzzled.

“Lettin’ ‘er have desert before dinner. Whatever shall I do wiv ya Mr Highway?” He smiled and looked down at Callum’s hand. He softly ran a thumb over one of Callum’s knuckles.

Callum blushed.

“So, yer gonna come ta The Vic for that drink wiv me?”

“I can’t. Jay’s getting’ stressed out wiv all the funerals we ‘ave comin’ up. I only nipped up ‘ere ta help Whit out for a second, and somehow got roped into seating arrangements and choices of cake.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I best get back ta ‘im.”

“Ok. Well I’ll maybe catch ya later then.” Ben winked at him, then turned on his heel, letting Callum’s hand slowly slide from his gasp. He could feel Callum’s eyes boring into his back. He couldn’t be mad with Callum. He could never be mad at Callum.

Ben pushed open the door to The Vic, a sea of rainbow banners and flags gracing his presence.

“Nice of ya to announce my presence Mick.” He gestured towards the banners.

“Ah. Nice try Ben, but ya ain’t that special.” Mick laughed. “By the way, ‘fink Tina’s over at The Albert helpin’ yer mum out wiv some stuff. She left this lot behind though. Wondered if ya could drop it off for ‘er.” Mick produced a cardboard box with more banners and flags, bowers and glasses spilling from it.

“Ah cheers Mick.”

“By the way. I know yer gonna be competition for us ‘an all. But we wouldn’t miss the openin’ for the world, what wiv our Jonny an’ all. I wish he was ‘ere ta see it.”

“Yer not one of them lot an’ all are ya?” A bald-headed bloke who was leaning against the bar sipping his pint suddenly asked.

“‘an what if I was. What’s it ta you anyway?” Ben snapped, irked.

“Disgustin’ behaviour. Blokes kissin’ blokes. Gone are the days of real men.”

Ben shoulder-barged past him to make his way to the Gents. He didn’t know this bloke and had never seen him before, and decided he wasn’t worth it. He had bigger fish to fry.

The door to the Gents suddenly squeaked open just as Ben was zipping up his trousers, and he saw the same guy walk in from the mirror on the wall behind him.

“Followin’ me inta the gents? Bit gay isn’t it?” Ben quipped, cocking his head to one side.

“What did ya say?” The man snarled at him.

“I said. It’s a bit gay ya followin’ me inta the gents after passin’ those kindsa comments earlier about people like me. Yeah. I like blokes. What ya gonna do about it?” Ben turned on his heel to size up Jonno. Hands balling into fists at his sides.

“People like your lot need puttin’ down. Yer scum. Would be doin’ everyone a favour.” Jonno moved to be inches from Ben’s face. “What’s so special about your lot, that ya need a special day for it eh?”

“Well. If ya gotta problem with Pride, then ya most definitely have a problem wiv me!” Ben grabbed the man by the font of his polo shirt and slammed him up against the wall by the hand-dryers.

“Get yer disgustin’ ‘ands off me!” Jonno managed to flip them round and was pinning Ben to the wall by his throat, when the door to the gents opened again.

“DAD!” A shocked voice exclaimed.


	27. Every Now and Then I Fall Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me so long to update. Been really busy and blah blah blah.  
To be honest, I've been lacking enthusiasm over this fanfic lately, you can probably tell from how short this chapter is.
> 
> I'm also planning on starting another one sometime soon. I have the plot and everything planned. Just need to start on it. I'm pretty excited about it, just hope I can do it justice.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me through this fanfic guys. Hoping to wrap it up in the new year.

Ben swiftly darted his eyes away from Jonno, who still had him by the throat; pinned up against the wall in the Gents. And locked eyes with Callum who was stood there, all signs of colour drained from his face.

The coolness from the white tiles on the wall was seeping through the back of Ben’s shirt and came into contact with his skin, heightening his primal senses, the sound of his blood pumping, ringing in his ears .

“WHAT THE HELL D’YA THINK YER DOIN’!” Callum yelled at his father, once he had regained his senses.

“Nothin’ ta worry about Calum. Yer dad an’ I were jus’ havin’ a little chat.” He grimaced, before smiling a sarcastic smile at Jonno, whose eyes reverted back to Ben, and then narrowed. “Weren’t we?” He cocked his head to the side coyly.

“Dad! Leave ‘im alone. He’s my friend.”

Ben’s head quickly snapped to Callum when he heard him repeat that dreaded word; ‘Friend’. Callum could see that he had hurt him almost instantaneously, as soon as the words came tumbling out of his mouth, by the way Ben’s gaze dropped from his and lowered to the ground, his shoulders slumping and all sense of fight lost.

“Ya know he’s one of them.” Jonno gestured a thumb at Ben.

Callum looked at his father questioningly, not clocking onto what he was trying to get at.

“One of what?”

“Those poofs.”

Callum swallowed slowly. “Yes, I do, but it ain’t goin’ ta stop me being ‘is friend, and besides, what’s it ta you who I choose ta be friends wiv? You’ve never cared before, about me or Stuart. So why the sudden interest in our lives?”

“You shouldn’t be hangin’ around wiv the likes of ‘im. He’ll influence ya. He’ll turn ya.”

“Dad. Being gay isn’t some kind of disease. Ya can’t jus’ catch it off someone. Ya just…know.” He tailed off and looked at Ben.

_‘Just like with feelings.” He thought to himself._

“Still. I don’t like the likes ‘im sniffin’ around ya. Especially wiv ya havin’ a fiancée now an’ all.” He released his grip from around Ben’s throat and stepped back and walked towards Callum.

Ben shrugged in his shirt to straighten it. “I-I’ll be at the bar, yeah?” He gestured to the door over his shoulder, before nodding at Callum and turning and walking out.

Callum stopped dead still. “Who-who told ya about me an’ Whit?”

“Stuart of course. Can’t believe ya were gonna keep the Big News from ya Old Man?” He beamed at Callum, before walking over to him and slapping him on the back. “Congratulations son! I really was startin’ ta worry about ya.” He chuckled.

Callum awkwardly tugged at the starched, white collar of his work shirt that all of a sudden started to feel as though it were choking him. Suddenly, the walls of the room seemed to be closing in on him. He didn’t remember it being this small and enclosed in the bathrooms in The Vic, let alone this dark.

He felt like a gladiator being thrown into the ring and made to fight some kind of exotic animal. Knowing that either way he wouldn’t leave alive and there was no escape. One way he would end up dead; ripped to pieces, and the other the same, but the death being longer and more drawn out; agonising even. He felt trapped.

Callum finally saw his way out in the form of Jack, coming into the Gents, and made his excuses to his father and swiftly left. He managed to avoid any eye contact with Ben, who he could feel watching him intently from his perch at the bar. Bottle of beer in one hand. He felt Ben’s other hand gently brush his leg as he walked past, making his way through the throng to the front door.

Hands on his knees, bent double, he gulped in the fresh air from outside as though his life depended on it. He jumped suddenly, at the feeling of a hand on his back and shot up, swivelling round almost quick enough to give himself whiplash.

It was Whitney.

“Steady!” She exclaimed, before taking his form in. “What on earth ‘appened ta ya? Ya look like you’ve seen a ghost, yer shaking?” She looped an arm through his and helped to ease him up, holding onto him to steady his balance. “Callum?” Whitney yanked his arm concerned.

Callum shook his head. “Er-er…um sorry Whit. What?” He turned his head to look at her.

“What happened to yer? Yer as white as a sheet?” Whitney questioned him again, running a hand down his face.

Callum closed his eyes and sighed.

“Dad…” He replied staring ahead into an empty void. He cleared his throat and eventually snapped his gaze back to Whit’s face. “Oh erm… I just found dad threatenin’ Ben in The Vic toilets.” Callum chewed his lip nervously.

“Jonno’s here? Why were ya in The Vic? Thought ya ‘ad work?”

“Ben…he er…he-he left somethin’ at ours when he came by earlier. W-went ta give it back ta ‘im.”

“Ok.” She frowned.

“When I got ta The Vic, Mick said my Old Man was ‘ere, so asked where he was ‘an Mick said he’d followed Ben into the bogs.”

“Well I hope Ben put ‘im in his place?”

“I dunno Whit. Listen. I ain’t feelin’ too good… fink I might go ask Jay if I can go take a break. I-I need a ta sit down.”

“Ya want me ta come wiv ya?”

“Nah. I’ll be OK.” Callum gave her a small smile.

Callum stalked his way across The Square to Dot’s house and banged on the door. After a few minutes he heard the sound of footsteps shuffling down the hallway and the safety chain slide from the lock on the back of the door, before a click of the lock being undone.

“Who is it?” A person called out.

Callum recognised the croaky voice as belonging to Dot, she must have been back from her daily church duties.

“It’s me Mrs B... Callum.”

The door opened a crack and she appeared poking her head around the door, curls perfectly set, cigarette in hand

“Oh Callum. It’s lovely ta see you. I‘ll just pop on the kettle.”

“Oh no. I-I ain’t stayin’ long. Was jus’ wonderin’ if my brother was there?”

“Stuart? Oh, he left about an hour ago. Went ta see Rainie and little Baby Abi. You sure you won’t stay for a cup of tea? I’ve got one of those nice sponge cakes they sell on the market.”

Callum stopped and thought about it for a second. Maybe it would be a good idea to stop and calm down before he went and ripped Stuarts head off.

“Sure.” He replied and smiled back at her. Instantly seeing her face light up at his reply. She opened the door for him and he stepped inside. He shoved his hands in his trouser pockets and waited for Dot to lead the way.

“Please sit down.” She told him. Callum was about to sit down when he saw Dot making her way over to the sink with the kettle to fill it with water.

“Here, Mrs B. Let me do that for ya.” He made his way over to the sink and took the kettle from her. “You go sit down.” He smiled at her.

“You’re a good man Callum. Whitney’s found a good one in you. She better not let go of you.” She rested a hand on his forearm and gave it a squeeze before making her way to sit back down again at the kitchen table

Callum was two cups of tea and a slice of cake in when his phone went. He saw the screen read ‘Ben’. He knew it must be important. Ben never phoned…unless he was drunk, then yes, Callum did get the odd drunken phonecall.

“Do you mind?” He asked Dot, setting his cup back down on the saucer in front of himself.

“No. Go ahead. I know what you young people are like these days with your telephones.” She told him, reaching out for the cigarette packet she had set on the table and pulling out another one.

Callum smiled at her, before sliding his phone to answer the call. “Ben? Woah woah…slow down. Tell me again slowly…she said what?...look, calm down…I can come over in a second. I’ll have ta ask Jay if I can ‘ave the day off…no it’ll be fine, it’s about time he did some of the paperwork…I’m wiv Dot at the moment.” Callum laughed. “I’ll be over to The Albert in five. I’ll catch ya in a bit.” He smiled, lowering his eyes and feeling the heat starting to spread across his cheeks.

He would deal with Stuart later. It could wait. Ben’s problem, it seemed. Couldn’t. If there was one thing Callum had learnt about Ben in the time that he had known him, it was that Ben was a bit of a Drama Queen. Callum always seemed to be the voice of reason to him, in managing to get him to keep a level head about things.

“Sorry about that.” Callum eventually looked up at Dot and apologised

“Oh, don’t be.” Dot told him, taking a drag on her cigarette. “Is Ben in a spot of bother?”

“Oh, ya know Ben, ever the Drama Queen.” Callum rolled his eyes at her, feeling heat starting to grow from the back of his neck underneath his shirt collar and gradually spread upwards.

“Well he’s certainly a charmer. It was so sad what ‘appened between ‘im and Paul. His last boyfriend. Never been the same poor boy. Be wonderful for ‘im to find love again.” Dot looked up at Callum and gave him a small smile. Callum felt himself obviously blush this time and averted his gaze down to prod at the slice of Victoria Sponge cake he had on his plate with his fork.

He finished his piece of cake and suddenly cleared his throat. “Well…er…I best be off gotta go help Ben and finish planning seating arrangements with Whit ‘an that.” He drained the dregs of his cup of tea, and pushed his seat away from the table standing up. “Thanks for the cake and tea Mrs.B. Can ya tell Stuart I was lookin’ for ‘im? I might drop ‘im a message as well.”

“Oh yes. I know how stressful it can be planning a wedding. My Jim and I were married 65 years. I still miss him every single day.” She smiled at Callum.

He made to make his way through to her hallway and to see himself out when he heard her call out his name.

“Callum?”

“Yes.” He stopped and turned. She shuffled over to him, and reached down to take one of his hands and clasp it between both of her wrinkled ones. He looked down, before looking back up again and meeting her clear hazel eyes.

“The heart knows what it wants…for it is an organ of fire.” She looked at him intently. “Do not extinguish it.” She gave him a knowing smile.

Callum blinked slowly, before giving her a small nod and turning on his heel, closing the door behind himself. He stood on Dot’s top step and looked up at the bright blue sky, before taking a deep breath, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets.


End file.
